#kasoujin

tagged by @kasoujin for 5 songs and i decided to go with ocelot :] it's really hard to pick only 5 for this guy because my playlist for him rly genre jumps a lot--there's songs i feel like he'd listen to and ones that really stick out as songs "for" him hehe. but here's the main ones that come to mind for me first!

union of the snake, duran duran

there's a fine line drawing / my senses together and I think it's about to break if I listen close I can hear them singers, oh voices in your body coming through on the radio the union of the snake is on the climb moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break / through the borderline

as you can probably guess, a lot of my picks for ocelot are also related to his relationship with jack/big boss. it's just pretty impossible to separate the two of them for me, honestly, but this song in particular is about how ocelot feels about carrying out the legend and legacy of big boss rather than his particular feelings toward jack as a person. as opposed to--

ringfinger, nine inch nails

I get everything I want / when I get part of you Ringfinger / promise carved in stone deeper than the sea Ringfinger / sever flesh and bone offer it to me

yeah. there's really no way around the bosselot of this pick but there's an association for pretty much every line of this song for ocelot in my Vision(tm) lmfao. he spends his whole adult life entwining and enmeshing himself with jack and has no regrets about it. and i don't think ocelot particularly cares whether "big boss" feels the same way about him. that would ruin his game--make john less than who he is. there's way more at stake than just feelings, but. somewhere in there, adam knows what he's doing. and he'll always want more than just a tiny piece of big boss.

riders on the storm, the doors

into this house, we're born into this world, we're thrown like a dog without a bone an actor out on loan riders on the storm

i like this song as a more thematic ocelot song than one that portrays a feeling he has. the lines "this world on you depends / our life will never end." i think ocelot would loveeeee for this song to be about him, as the "killer on the road" character. i love his aspiring cowboy-isms, sue me.

spiral, julien-k

there is no side you're on / only a great open divide I cannot get around and what you say you want / is never closer to the truth

this whole song is sooo very ocelot--how he wants to be seen by others (aka john), the sort of unpredictable force he feels that he is. "our fate harder now to swallow."

smoother operator, sade

face to face, each classic case we shadow box and double cross / yet need the chase a license to love, insurance to hold melts all your memories and change into gold his eyes are like angels but his heart is cold no need to ask / he's a smooth operator

i'm a sade fiend okay. and i think ocelot WISHES this song was about him. so much so that i started to associate it with him. can't you just imagine him self-soothing with this in his goddamn walkman before he goes to torture someone or some shit. he's so stupid. i love writing him immensely.

bay tree : does your muse seek glory & accolades , or do they favour a simpler , more personal life ?

daisy : did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ? what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ? (for dave!)

hello my fellow mgs fan. wehehehe

ABATINA.

in the case of BIG BOSS, it certainly goes without saying that his entire character is defined by the upheaval of his worldview at the end of MGS3...but i wanna talk about smth else for this one so i think i'll focus instead on the notion of family as MGS is concerned a lot with the idea of passing things on (whether that's genetics, lineage, heritage, culture, etc.). naturally, growing up in the era he did, jack has a pretty regimented view of 'family' for the bulk of his life, something he struggles with especially post-bikini atoll which renders him sterile at a young age.

i think, like a lot of people at this time, he probably had ideas of settling down and having a family with someone (i have to laff) so you can imagine the devastation, although it was probably kind of comphet-y in the way of i personally don't think jack would have ever done well in any kind of family setting so he was probably like "well this sucks because everyone tells me it sucks so im really emotional but actually the more i think about it maybe the more i don't care?" especially in conversation with the boss, who despite having her child taken from her, is obviously portrayed with these very distinctly tropey 'motherly' traits and who wants nothing more than to have a family of her own; who admits to being drawn to jack because of them both being subjected to radiation that prevents them from having biological children.

this definition of 'family = blood' becomes more flexible as jack becomes closer with the boss and grows to see her as a sort of mother figure as well (although he would never call it that), then again when they split up, and then again after MSF starts taking shape and ironically to him starts becoming more of a notion of 'shared ideals'. BB might at his core be fundamentally condescending in a round about way but i think he genuinely considers all the people he recruits as part of a family.

now contrast that with how he rejects the les enfants terribles project--the clones cannot simply absorb his (and in his eyes, the boss's) will by virtue of having his DNA. and BB at this point knows he's not equipped to actually legitimately raise children or want to have any part of that. so he rejects them entirely. of course this is also because everyone went behind his back to make the clones cuz they were afraid of losing BB's support and they just assumed he'd be fine with clones of him walking around like... ok guys.. y'all are crazy for that.

SOLID SNAKE is very very open to changing his mind on things. so it's harder to think about a specific thing for him...he's very open-minded and generally likes to learn about things, especially because he knows what an isolated and controlled setting he grew up in that was meant to prime him as a super-soldier. in general, snake is happy to be challenged to change his mind. it means he's human.

@kasoujin sent... Madoka and Adachi maybe for the relationship ask: how does she feels about him?

putting this under a cut because it got so long, buuut here you go!

upon first meeting her uncle's partner, madoka decides she likes him. he seems a little whiny and unreliable, but she senses a sort of camaraderie between the two men; that even just for a minute, her uncle has dropped his guard and that despite his griping, he's having fun. so yes, she likes tohru adachi, she thinks. he wouldn't have graduated from the police academy if he was a complete layabout, right? surely he'll get his act together soon. he's just having a rough time adjusting to country life. it's a little immature to start half-assing work in response, but she guesses people deal with things differently.

kasoujin asked: "how can i help you?" for raidou!

@kasoujin || RANDOM DIALOGUE (QUESTIONS) PROMPTS (2/?) || Accepting

It was more than a little awkward, stepping into the unfamiliar space of a counselors office. While the student had transferred to Tokyo some time ago, apparently somebody in the school’s administration felt that the quiet boy would benefit from speaking with their counselor. Something about helping him transition from a rural homelife to city living. Raidou imagined that there was more to this beneath the surface. Narumi said that they were likely just doing it for metric purposes, patting themselves on the back for giving their students opportunities to excel.

The detective hadn’t used those words exactly, his take a little more sardonic, but the message was the same. Somebody realized just how isolated of an existence the teen had lived before coming to the city, and they were convinced that he wasn’t adjusting properly.

He didn’t understand. He’d adjusted fine. The liveliness of the city in comparison to the peaceful wooded domain of his village did rarely put him on edge, the sights and sounds a touch too jarring. But it was also easy to disappear in a big city like Tokyo, much to Raidou’s relief.

Apparently not easy enough. Now he was wandering hesitantly into a counselors office, where he was supposed to discuss the inner workings of his home life, and his mental health. Yet another thing the teen was woefully unfamiliar with, as knowledge of such things was not a part of the world he came from. As such, Raidou was guarded as he entered, introducing himself with a shallow bow.

𝗨𝗡𝗨𝗦𝗨𝗔𝗟 𝗠𝗨𝗡 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 - accepting ☾

5. what’s a song you’ve overplayed while writing but still love?

honestly, when i'm writing, i tend to listen to the same thing that i listen to when i'm studying: either lo-fi or OSTs. it depends on the vibe i'm going for. if i'm writing an action scene or a specific game fandom, i'll likely put on an OST to fit the vibe. otherwise, i need something soft to play as background noise, but that won't distract me. though i've been listening to a lot of those "various nintendo songs" playlists between my limited time writing and my big study blocks so far, and a song that always seems to end up there is maple treeway from MK Wii. as much as i like the original, all of these use the silvagunna version for whatever reason?? i don't even think most people notice- lmaO

8. what’s a piece of advice you’d give to your past self as a roleplayer?

when i was young and i first started roleplaying online (i was probably 12 or so?), i wrote with people that i just found randomly on a bunch of different sites, so there was a pretty wide range. the worst experience i had while writing that made me want to drop it entirely happened when i was 14 or 15, and i had a partner that was absolutely crazy controlling. they wanted me to tell them when i went to sleep, and expected me to skip meals to make sure i got replies out to them. i put up with it for months feeling miserable, and to this day, i don't know why. i guess the main thing would just be that i don't have to put up with that sort of thing! if i'm engaging in a hobby, there's no reason why i should let anyone make it so stressful for me.

22. what’s a piece of media that permanently changed how you write?

i think i've always liked media that finds ways to insert comedy into things. an author that can throw a little aside into a simple description, or even a bit of background, that adds some depth and levity to it is always an inspiration to me. adding in that bit of authorial voice in such a way that doesn't ruin the vibe, but somehow adds even more depth to the description. i'd love to cite that to the dry wit of agatha christie or something (since i've been listening to various classics on audiobook for a while), but i really fear the foundational texts of this when i got started writing might have to be undertale and homestuck- they had more of a profound impact on me than i want to admit, as far as shaping how i could use language to write distinct characters without being bogged down by formalities 😭

@kasoujin sent... 💬

i don't talk about it much because i simply don't need to given the context of this blog, but the madoka that never comes to inaba at all ( because, for example, yu is already there like in canon ) is a very different girl from the one who does.

after all, she still exists if yu is the main character! they're cousins! it's just that her parents weren't asked to go overseas, so they're simply elsewhere in japan and there was no need to send their daughter to dojima.

in fact, a madoka who never comes to inaba turns out a lot more like a certain detective than one would think.

rather than embrace the power of love and bonds, she grows to reject them entirely. she chooses to withdraw into herself rather than place her faith in people, because in her experience, those people will just up and leave her when they've had their fill, or she's no longer useful to them, or... well... for any stupid reason they see fit. she plays the role of a polite, if not a little aloof, young woman to get by peaceably in society and has people she spends time with... but that's just a means of filling in time. they are not her friends. they don't know her, and they never will.

while i'm not certain about a career choice for this iteration of madoka, she's certainly not a nurse. she decides on that career path in inaba, after all. i think she might have some nondescript, super boring office job that pays well but that she hates, because she feels like she's not accomplishing anything with her life, but... well... she's doing everything right, so she can't exactly complain about it.

it's a sad, lonely, monotonous existence... and while i don't think her boredom and poor mental state would drive her to murder like said certain detective... i can't exactly rule it out, either.

madoka yoshinaga and tohru adachi are two sides of the same coin, after all. had adachi managed to find people he truly connected with before his apathy reached critical mass, maybe he would've found himself a much happier person even in adversity. and madoka, well... her lack of those meaningful bonds in her life could send her spiralling down the path that turned the man into a murderer.

the teenager's posture speaks purely of discomfort . he's hunched in on himself , hands shoved in the pockets of his coat save for the rare occasion where one emerges to adjust his beanie . despite this , he makes direct , unwavering eye - contact with maruki . his eyes are almost challenging , despite how nonsensical it is . they're only talking ; there is no threat from either of them . he's a cornered creature ... in the center of this room that he could leave any time of his own volition . the mere concept of talking about his feelings awakens a primal sort of fear in shinjiro , it would seem .

" it's fine . " which would be shinji's response no matter how bad it was , so truly , the words amount to absolutely nothing . nothing seems to have bled through the bandages at least -- or not enough to show through his coat , anyway . with the amount of layers he wears , that might not mean a whole lot either . thus to demonstrate just how totally fine he is , shinji rolls his shoulder in a dramatically wide arc --

-- and immediately winces hard . " ow , " he hisses , " shit . "

with this outburst , he quickly flashes a glare ( and it's naturally - accompanying scowl ) to his friend . he's painfully aware that there's no stopping a determined aki , but if he can manage to cut it off before he gets started ... !