#kasitho

+ KASI / @kasitho .

&  KASI  /  @kasitho​​ said  “ 💏 from kasi for weachie boi ”

… WHERE IT HURTS

                   in terms of physical pain , peaches could easily say his back ‘cause he’s old , his neck .. also ‘cause he’s old , his lower bicep  where it always used to be bruised , cheek bone where he collided with vic head-on accidentally earlier in the day , hands from drumming with split calluses , knuckles bruised from general distress .  the list goes on , from head to toe , peaches could find some part of him that ached physically .  in fact , the blond could make it even easier on himself and just say everywhere , everywhere , and move onto his next thing .  it used to be worse when he used --- everything ached more during the small off periods when he wasn’t high , and now , sober and clean for eight months , he finds his body physically feeling fine .

                    he calls her when it happens , everything rushing over him in a sudden wave that has him begging to use someone’s card and ------------ aching again .  the high was short lived , disgusted at his ravenous feast of white powder until nose is bleeding and he finds it hard to move .  kasi gets there in record time .  had he been high for a moment longer he would find a flare of anger boiling deep in marrow --- she knew he wouldn’t last being clean , she waited for him to fuck up again , it was the only reason she was ever so close by .  no --- she loves you , that’s why she came quick .  probably stole vic’s car and ran it over eight curbs in the process .  the thought pulls a bellowing laugh from his chest as his front door slams open , kasi calling for him through the house until finding him in the living room .  pristine white carpet tainted with flecks of blood , wiping nose , wiping hands , trying to stand up , losing his balance .  can’t feel his legs .  everywhere , everywhere .  peaches is almost entirely sure that physical pain is what the brunette means when she finds him , blood from nose matching now watery eyes , propped up against the back of the sofa .  he blames his tears on how beautiful and sad she looks , yearning to lift a hand and cup her cheek , but the blood ... no , he doesn’t want to gross her out however it’s nearly dried by now .

                    hand finds hers , brought up to rest at the center of his chest .  “ there . ”  voice cracks , body shifting under the weight of the single word .  he knew that she was aware of the internalized suffering ; they both shared it to a certain degree , kasi maybe even slightly moreso than the other .  he didn’t want to discount her feelings or make the situation about him -- no , but she asked , so he shall answer with the utmost honestly .                        “ peaches , your chest ?  your heart ?  is that what hurts ? ” another huff of laughter escapes him , shaking his head  as arms move to wrap loosely around her middle .  he settles her on his lap though hands wearily remain off to the wide where the mess can’t consume her : she’s always looked too pristine to ever be around a mess of a person like him .  it’s wherein his laughter stops for a second that he feels the kiss to his chest , a choked sob finally wracking through him in almost violent shutters .  he still nearly sounds like he’s laughing .

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