En Anbu Poi Illai
This OS is inspired by the song Maruvaarthai from the movie Enai Nokki Paayum Thotta. I have used only one half of the song for this OS.
En Anbu Poi Illai means my love/affection is not a lie. *****
Maruvaarthai pesadhe
Ramaa paused the song and closed her eyes, the tears she fought so hard leaking down from the corner of her eyes. She wiped them hurriedly, and stared out into the darkness from the window seat she had gotten on the flight. She had seen him, her Govardhan, in the lobby of the airport. He too seemed to be waiting for the same flight as her, and his eyes, deep, intense and bright, filled with the multiple lights of the world, still filled her soul to its depth. His eyes conveyed the depth of his still powerful feelings. She knew the blush that had now permanently embedded itself on her face had given him the same answer.
Lowering her eyes to her phone, she played the song once more, despite having avoided it for the entire thirteen months they had been broken up.
madi meedhu nee thoongidu
Her memories flashed to the days where her anxiety would act up, and he would place her head on his lap, stroking her hair and cheeks, which often made her sleep. He always made sure she slept on his lap, be it curled into them, or be it with her head on it. But now, now... she did not have him, and he did not have her.
In that exact moment, she felt her neighbour sit next to her. She turned slowly, as the thump of her heart's beat intesnified heavily.
"Vardhan?" she whispered when their eyes clashed in a passionate eye lock. He gazed at her, taking in her face and frowning at how thin she had become. His eyes fell on hers again, and he whispered, "Ramaa?"
She closed her eyes instantly, his calling of her name filling her to the bones. He loved calling her Ramaa, and he seemed to continue doing that.
imai pola naan kaaka
kanavaai nee maaridu
She remembered him whispering the words 'I will guard your eyes like my own, and you become the dream that flows through our life.'
"Our life," she whispered and opened her eyes once more, tears springing in them. His yearning for her burned through her blood, through her veins, and lit a fire through her body, her actions, her life. He was the power of her yearning in itself, and the honour in her wish to be successful.
"Our life," he agreed, easily echoing her. His dark eyes told her that he too remembered those memories, the ones where he would kiss her eyes softly once she closed them, and then hug her close, as she sunk into his strong arms and slept the night away.
"Ramaa," he started, and she whispered back, "yes Vardhan?"
"We are both going to be in Chennai. Tell me, can I allow you to be the dream again?" He asked gently, making her shiver and gaze into his eyes, those eyes which told her he was still all hers.
"I want to, but I am too afraid."
"You? Afraid? I don't believe it," he told her. "You are the boldness of the bold, you know what to say when."
"Vardhan, I hurt you last time. I will never forgive myself for that hurt caused."
"Is that why you stayed away for thirteen whole months, Ramaa?" His voice belayed the hurt that was there, and her heart tore at his pain. She reached for his palm, just as the air hostess came to tell them both to buckle up, as the flight was about to start its ascent into the sky. She buckled in, as did he, both looking away. Ramaa disliked this weird air between them.
She wanted to clear it, and return to his arms.
That is all she had wanted since the day they broke up, since the moment they broke up. Why had they even broken up? Both of them were much stronger than that, and they had fought through their relationship to keep it intact.
So why did they break? Why did they split?
mayil thogai pole viral unnai varudum
The touch of his hand on hers jerked her out of her spiral. She looked at him, snuggling her hand into his touch. She had no intention of moving her hand away, and she could see the happiness in his lotus eyes when she sought his gentle touches and affection.
He gently slipped his fingers in between hers, the touch like that of a peacock feather. She smiled at him, leaning back as the flight took off, muttering her usual prayers, still gripping his hand. She stilled when a pair of headphones clamped over her ears, and the Vishnu Sahasranamam started. She looked at him with teary eyes, and he smiled, nodding.
She relaxed, her hand not moving from his comforting grip, as the sweet tones of MS Subbalakshmi reciting Vishnu Sahasranama filled her ears.
Once it was done, she gave him his headphones, and gazed at him, just wanting to have her fill. She saw him looking at her the same way, as his hand came up to gently tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She knew this took them back to the first time he had done that, the tension ratcheting up with his actions, and the intimate embrace they had shared after that action.
manam padamayi uraiyadal nigazhum
Their eyes, still gazing at each other, were conveying the words of the heart, reaching them to their respective souls.
"So you did it, hmm?"
"I did," she said. "And now, I know why you advised me against it when we were together."
"Why did I?" Govardhan's eyes, fond and loving, made Ramaa blush, and she looked away partially, her pink cheeks endearing to him. She felt his fingers very lightly touch them before pulling away, and she turned to look at him with a pout, about to argue. However, she paused.
They used to argue like this, because he always only lightly touched her, till she pouted and grumbled at him.
"You wanted me to gain independence from the restrictions of my elder brothers by myself, and not to try and balance our relationship," Ramaa said softly. "But love.. I mean, Vardhan, our relationship was and memories of it still is my highest motivation. You taught me to grow personally, you gave me everything. You are everything."
"As you are mine," he said gently, his eyes holding tears when she called him love. It was her favourite term of endearment, and just seeing him had opened up all that.
vizhi neerum veenaga
imai thanda koodathena
thuliyaaga naan serthen
kadalaaga kan aanathe
"Don't hold back your tears," Ramaa whispered, gently touching him below his eye. She looked at him pleadingly, and a single tear fell on her palm, from his eyes, which were as bright as an ocean of water.
"Oh Vardhan..."
Tears fell down her eyes too, and she placed her head on his shoulder to maintain some semblence of calm in the flight. She knew they looked like a couple, and that actually made a small corner of her heart cheer in delight. Pushing it away, she held his arm gently, giving him the comfort he very clearly needed.
She felt his lips press on her head, and smiled quietly, just being there for him, despite their individually single statuses.
"You know..." she said after a while, still not moving from her position.
"Hmm?" he hummed into her hair, making her snuggle into him more, in as discreet a way as she could. Luckily, they were in one of the corners of the flight, and their row was a two seater.
"I am not going to stay at my usual place," she said softly. "I will be with Bhima Anna and Yagya Anni."
"What?" he sounded delighted, and she lifted her face up to meet his eyes. She nodded with a bright smile.
"Amma and Appa are picking me up. We are going to Woodlands for breakfast, and I will go directly to Bhima Anna's place. I will be with them and Pritha Athai," Ramaa smiled. "I broke truly free, Vardhan. I broke free from the restrictions placed on me."
Before he could say something, she continued, "And it is all because of you, Vardhan. Only because of you. Of the love I know you bear for me, of the strength you gave me, even far away. I did not forget you for a moment, Vardhan. I did not forget you for a moment."
"maranthalum naan unnai
ninaikaadha naal illaiye
pirindhalum en anbu
oru podhum poi illaiye," Vardhan sang these lines softly as a reply to Ramaa, his eyes giving her all the intensity of his feelings, which only seemed to have grown over the months of separation and absence of communication.
"Why did we break up?" she asked softly, into the silence they had in between them. She just wanted to talk to him, to clear the air, so that they can have a calm flight after this.
"Your brothers were threatening you, because you were with me," he said gently. "I did not want you to have to face that, and you were getting worked up, love."
She closed her eyes and allowed two tears to fall down her cheeks to her neck.
"I should have handled it better, but Vardhan, why did you let me go?" she asked, a bit miffed about it, though she did understand why he had to.
"To make you realize you never wanted me to let you go," he said, after a long moment, where she held her breath. She let out a sigh when she heard his response. Of course it was noble, always for her, always for her well being, for her evolution.
Always for her.
"I don't want separation anymore, Govardhan," Ramaa used his full name, looking him in the eye, blushing softly at his tender gaze.
"Then we will not be separated anymore, Ramaa."
*******
@ahamasmiyodhah @mahi-wayy @yehsahihai @theramblergal @krsnaradhika @ramayantika @achyutapriya @thegleamingmoon @nidhi-writes @houseofbreadpakoda @hum-suffer @kanhapriya @kaal-naagin @krishna-priyatama @willkatfanfromasia @celestesinsight @arachneofthoughts @idllyastuff @mahaswrites @braj-raj @krishna-sangini @krishna-premi @chaliyaaa @tripurantaka @writersiya @ambidextrousarcher @zeherili-ankhein @rang-lo @nushkiespeaks @sambaridli What do you all think? Should I write more OS on Govardhan and Ramaa as well?
