#kaards docs

think about them, perhaps share some headcanons and tell us more about your au version of him

I will be sleeping now so I will read this in the morning

it's about goddamn time i posted this, so

buckle up, you're in for a LONG read.

tl;dr: awkwardness and social anxiety, prince becomes hated child, suicidal heteros and they fix each other, found family and literal family, bad4 jumpscare. i think that's a pretty good summary

when he was young, he was really skittish. he was also MAJORLY clingy towards dark cacao and the (at the time) first watcher of the citadel. until he was around 6, he was attached to his father's cape at almost all times. he hardly spent nights alone due to night terrors. it was unexpected, and dark cacao took it fairly well despite his fear of becoming too soft. inexplicably, though, at around the time choco was due to start his cacaoian warrior training, he just... stopped spending time with his father. not that cacao was showing much affection before, but it completely fizzled out here -- and with it, any chance at a real relationship. there came a time where choco didn't even see cacao as his own father anymore, just another person in the citadel who he had to listen to. he'd end up taking on more chores just to get out of the suffocating citadel.

as a teenager (he was around 17) a girl (spoiler alert, it's ristretto) and a friend were wandering around the kingdom and spotted choco running errands from a distance. said friend had a MAJOR crush on choco but ristretto didn't get it at all. so she was teasing her saying "what if he doesn't wash his feet?" and they were giggling about it freely since he was so far away. ristretto kept going though and said "what if.. he has sour coffee breath???" (this is a very bad thing, mostly prevalent in the cacao kingdom) and the friend fell over in embarrassment. this caught the attention of choco who came over to investigate the issue, but when ristretto noticed he'd approached, she just started asking him a bunch of questions about himself to prove to the friend that he's not all that great.... and it worked, because choco is probably the third most awkward person in the kingdom. he could barely get any words out and ristretto continued to laugh. eventually they do part ways, but the friend did put in the effort to tell choco that ristretto usually isn't so mean...

at the age of 22, he was assigned to train a young cookie with a bright, promising future. caramel arrow was small, sure, but incredibly nimble. and she had passion. though he enjoyed watching her learn and grow, they never really got that close. it was nothing but a student-teacher bond. and, if he was being honest with himself, it broke him to see how much more successful she was compared to him. which hey, can you imagine being a 22 year old feeling inferior to your 7 year old protege? i would feel awful, too.

when it came to the strawberry jam sword, the details are hazy (as in, i don't care so much to think about it), but the basic gist is that he was so dissatisfied with his life (lack of relationships, lack of purpose, etc) that he was willing to do ANYTHING to get away from his predetermined fate. which, yes, it worked, but he didn't know just how badly this course of action would play out.

aside from being a pawn of the darkness, he was... not really a person. from his lack of socialization in his developmental years, he hardly had a personality aside from being stubborn, which made him one of the worst candidates for the job. a good portion of the time, the sjs would take care of this by taking over his mind and fueling his body, usually when he was needed for something. but when he was "off-duty"... he was so physically and mentally drained that he could hardly do a thing aside from basic survival skills. he once was sent on a mission with choco werehound brute, but they got along so well that pomegranate decided to separate them -- and aside from her, he didn't take to any of the cookies of darkness. he was pretty damn lonely. all of those negative factors (abuse from pome, apathy from enchantress, being clowned on by licorice, and pmush having no sense of personal space) really drove him to the edge by the time the canon events we all know and love occur. as in, most of story mode episodes 13 and 14. he is employed by DE to kill his dad, he thinks he really did, he's stricken with guilt and grief, he casts aside the sjs... and his fate is empty.

and he doesn't know what in god's name to do with that.

so, with no hope left, naught for redemption or forgiveness or a life at all, he just kind of. left the citadel. aimless. filled with immense guilt and sorrow and pity, he stood there silently in the snow, remembering everything from before and knowing nothing of the now; so stuck in his own mind (for the first time in about 20 years, it's all there and all his own) that he's frozen in place. quite literally. he would have died that day if not for a little lonely someone, who changed just about as much as him in the time since they met -- and similarly, in all the worst ways. a careful cookie; stealthy, agile as an owl; alert, aware as a vole. a cookie slowly stalking closer and closer, crunching in the snow impossibly loudly into the silent, dead evening. the snowbound prince was still as ever, quite sure this would be his demise. those footsteps became ever closer, ever wary... but contrary to his hopes, a gentle (albeit shaking) hand cleared the snow off of his face. there was a stifled gasp, then it frantically started brushing off his shoulders, his arms, his legs. he was almost frozen to death, but not quite yet. with plenty of heaves of effort this cookie towed him all the way back to her home.

ristretto. a new ristretto, that is -- not the snarky rude girl from all those years ago. one who was geared up to do whatever it took to save the poor stranger she just found standing out in the snow, half-dead. neither of them really had any clue what they were getting into with this, though they'd soon find out.

choco was extremely humble at this point, never asking for anything if he didn't direly need it. he didn't feel like he deserved any kind of mercy from someone who was so kind to him (though, if he knew who she used to be, he might've been more comfortable with her from the getgo). he didn't want to get attached to her, partially from a fear of hurting her, but also from the fact that he wasn't ready for any kind of relationship. he'd never even had friends before, so why now? why, after all the damage he'd caused? they were very distant for a long time, and ristretto was starting to worry that she would never get through to him. he was always sleeping in chairs or on the floor, he never spoke unless spoken to, and oftentimes he would insist on splitting up tasks instead of doing them together. it was almost more lonely to her than living alone was. choco seemed completely oblivious to how much she longed to lean back on him. there came a time, though, where he started to care for her. when she was out late, he was anxious for her safety; when she shared activities with him, he felt appreciated. instead of just doing chores for survival, they were starting to really... live together. asking each other questions, making jokes, sharing meals, and honestly, becoming real people again. they were friends, genuine friends. (one day choco asks ristretto if she's that one girl he met all those years ago who made fun of him. yes, she is.)

then..... ohh....... the yaouriiEEEEWWWWWW i mean. um. well if you saw in the tl;dr, yeah, a big yucky sappy romance. put two heteros in a house together for months after they've known nothing but anguish, let them help each other forgive themselves, and yknow what? it kind of makes sense.

ignore the narrative gap here, i didn't think too hard about it. anyways, baby kid. her name? bitter mocha. now, these new parents don't actually know how to raise a kid at all, they're just kind of going based off of vibes and choco's experience with caramel arrow (which is NOT the same thing, but at least he has something). it seems to be going pretty well, but they both have one big worry -- how are they going to socialize her? they can't just shelter her forever, we all know how that goes down. but at the same time, how do you get a girl around when her parents are a known traitor, presumed dead, and a known criminal, presumed to still be on the loose? that's a question they'll have to stew on for a while, though they still have time.

after a while of having a child of his own, choco decides that he wants to try and reconnect with his father. those paternal emotions are really starting to kick into full gear, and he's realizing just how horrifying it must have been to be in his father's position. ristretto agrees that it's a sweet idea, but he should be really careful, and have his guard up. so off he goes, making his way to the citadel. he is (intentionally) spotted by a watcher -- this just so happens to be the second watcher. as in, the one he's known since his childhood. they're both a bit shocked to see each other again, and of course, the watcher tries to apprehend choco at first, but they calm down to a conversation eventually. the watcher explains that dark cacao has been spending time in the vanilla kingdom, leaving the citadel in the hands of caramel arrow. needless to say, that was a lot of information to process. he just went back home after this, not knowing how to get to the vanilla kingdom or if it was even plausible. he was determined to try, however.

did you know that if you travel across an entire continent, whether using magic or not, it makes you very easy to track? well, it's true. dark enchantress caught wind of choco still being alive and being on his way to the vanilla kingdom, and dispatched red velvet and two cake hounds to see what was up. the hope was either to 1) prevent dark choco from allying with the ancients if he hadn't already, or 2) strike them down. it wasn't supposed to be the strongest fleet, she more saw this an opportunity to poke at the opposition and remind them that they still have aggressors to worry about. phew, we have the lore set up, now the action. choco gets into the vanilla castle (this is really easy as there are basically no guards whatsoever) and finds dark cacao and pure vanilla. mind you, he has a sword on him, for self-defense. but obviously the ancients are unaware that choco is "reformed", and so they see him as a threat, almost immediately going on the offensive to remove him from the castle. yay, now the family is fighting and they don't want to be. how functional. red velvet catches up to them, still battling but almost getting to the point where they can talk it out... and unleashes absolute chaos on all of them, disregarding anything either party has to say. statues are knocked down, columns are slashed and nearly collapse, and a cake hound is killed in the fray (i could write an entire separate post for this). when red velvet realizes his efforts are futile, he retreats, minimally injured. the same can't be said for choco, who lost his keen sense of battle and was pretty sloppy with defending himself from the onslaught of attacks he just faced. he can't make it home, he can hardly see out of his functioning eye -- he's at the point where all he can do is hope that he can explain his way to getting some medical aid. acceptance or forgiveness felt pretty out the window for him after how badly this encounter went. unless..? at the very least, he was shown an unexpected amount of mercy from his father. whether the old man was convinced into it by pure vanilla or it was from the goodness of his heart, choco never cared to ask; he was too busy being grateful for the help. he attempted to tell what was going on, but it didn't seem like his father wanted anything to do with him -- at least, not yet. pure vanilla, of course, listened for as long as choco needed as they worked on healing and cleaning up the mess they'd all made. their gentle composure and slow, careful movements were a pretty strong contrast to those of his father -- or anyone that he'd met, really, that had more authority than him. it almost made him rethink showing up in the first place, especially as cacao's hand roughly grasped his shoulder to guide him out of the castle, but at the same time he still felt that same remorse from before. he just had some bad luck, and needed to try harder some other time. for the time being, though, he had to go back home and let his wife know that he was okay.

after a few subsequent attempts (none of which went as sour as the first), it seemed like dark cacao was finally ready to welcome his son back in his life -- or, that's how his attitude came across. in reality, he'd been holding off on coming to terms with... everything that had happened in the years since choco was baked. the clingy toddler, the stuffy child, the avoidant teen, the distant adult, and then... everything he missed? was he ready to learn about those fifteen some-odd years between the first and second attempt on his life, and the couple of years afterwards? would he be able admit that fate was his fault, too? it's not like he had a choice. so, they spent some awkward time together (usually supervised by pure vanilla, of course) trying to reconcile. exactly how, they were unsure. and it sucked trying to figure that out. but they did -- by accident, naturally. for context, the vanilla kingdom is now known for having lovely weather, lovely people, and most importantly, lovely safety protocols. it's arguably one of the safest places on earthbread. and when you're traveling about every other week, leaving a kid at home... they're gonna miss you. what better idea than a family trip? sounds great! this would be the first time not only bitter mocha, but ristretto saw the world outside of the cacao kingdom. now, this wasn't exactly planned out, it was spontaneous. so imagine dark cacao's shock when he greets his son as usual, and a whole toddler comes running into the room after him. "oh, yeah, i forgot to mention. this is my kid. and also my wife. oops" HOW DO YOU FORGET THAT()$*#*&

he slowly built up trust with not only his father, but the citadel as a whole. he was encouraged to come back and reacclimate to that kind of life. he got to know all the new halls (built after the east side crumbled), the new workers, and the new queen -- wait, queen? well, technically she isn't really that. caramel arrow, promoted to first watcher, served as guardian pro tempore of the citadel whenever the actual king was out. the actual king, who hardly does anything now -- not only due to his physical absence, but the weakening of his body and mind, both showing signs of the long, stressful life he'd lead. caramel arrow would never stand to replace him, however, refuting his requests for her to become the de facto queen. not that he ever wanted the title in the first place, but dark cacao was becoming more and more eager to drop it. there was really only one other option at this point. it was a pleasant weekend that choco had brought his family to the vanilla kingdom on. he booked their favorite room in the crow’s nest inn, the weather was nothing short of lovely, and his father… seemed to be in a bright mood? in the jovial downtown streets, they come across each other, cacao almost coming off as if he’d been looking for his son on his own accord. that’d be a first. choco’s pulled aside, just for a brief moment, and it’s… it’s awkward again, as always when they’re together. so cacao decides to just get straight to the point. he asks, “how do you feel about being king?” and there’s a veeerry long pause. “to elaborate, caramel arrow won’t agree to be-” but choco interrupts by squealing really loudly (this is not a reaction that was expected from him). he then starts bombarding his elder with questions, like “are you sure i should do that?” “what if i do something stupid?” “wait are you saying i’m moving in??? you want me to move in to the citadel again?? for real???” yes, he’d need some guidance, it wasn’t going to be an immediate thing, but… the offer was up. and the clear answer was yes. so after their stay was up, cacao returned to their home kingdom with the family and started getting choco to work, teaching him all kinds of ins and outs… and eventually leading on to the point that caramel arrow would be his mentor from now on. how the tables turn.i will make a separate document, if i so feel, for the day where he’s actually crowned king. just know that in timeline terms, it’s still before golden cheese was even found and brought to fight in the war. so, approximately 4 years ago, and no less.

after befriending the remaining cookies of darkness again (it’s a long story, i can also make another doc about that), he was asked to join the one, the only -- bad4! and this... really shocked him. he was aware of the band's existence before he left, but didn't expect the others to actually... enjoy it? let alone continue the fad this long after the COD disbanding. they tell him how much they wanted to start it back up, to which he asks, why him? well, there was a simple reason: pmush has been MISSING for, like, weeks. (not that anyone was worried about them. they'll probably turn up again some random day years in the future not even realizing time had passed.) at first, he doesn't seem to fit in, looking more like a filler than an actual member -- clad in black pants and a torn t-shirt, he usually fiddled with a guitar in the back of the stage. slowly, though, he "upgraded" his stage presence to match the appearance of the others. he drafted a few dozen outfits (not many of which were good, he isn't exactly an artist) and eventually came up with a stage name: Jam Red. sadly, everyone already knows him as dark choco, so it doesn't really mean much. above all, though, he's just grateful to hang out with people. friends, even. and, you know, get back into music. (i literally never mentioned this before. but yes. he can play some string instruments. like guitar and ukulele. colleen ballinger apology video when?)

dark enchantress is defeated at some point in this timeline, but it's not really relevant to HIS lore, so i'll probably just talk about it some other time. :)

now, i don't mean to say here that choco and ristretto were getting bored of bitter mocha -- they love her to death and back. but, you know, the citadel sometimes feels too quiet when the only kid around is very well-behaved. mocha didn't exactly have many friends yet, either, despite starting school. they wondered if maybe she should have had a sibling to grow up with. and, you know, it's really never too late to introduce a sibling, right? they did both agree, however, that they did NOT want to raise another baby. it's far too draining. so they asked around. hey, anyone seen a kid wandering around unaccounted for that we can take in? anyone? there's got to be one out there. they eventually get to a small independent establishment that seems to be taking in kids who have nowhere else to go. not everyone there seems to be happy about this, though; as the woman at the front desk runs through who's in their building, she quickly glosses over one resident. "that's our problem child," she explains casually, "usually ends up back here within a week. i wouldn't waste your time." in response to this, as any normal people would, the royals take the warning as a challenge. the adults enter the (shockingly barren) room of this problem child, and are immediately met with a deep, unstifled groan from the lonely bed. with a smile, the receptionist chimes, "milk jelly, why don't you come over and say hi?" their response is to turn over and bury their face further into their pillow. the royals are given details about this unenthused teen, including their avoidant paranoid habits. despite them sounding more like a chore with every new word, choco and ristretto are pretty determined, for whatever reason, to keep this child. apparently, this poor child had a rocky past, and has no interest in forming relationships, especially not with adults. but these parents, in their fervor, decide they would change that.

did it work? well, you could ask milk jelly today, probably. they'd tell you how funny their dad is, how cool their mom is, and how they love their little sister to death. they might even bring up their cool extended family like dark cacao and strawberry crepe. you see them clinging to their family like a baby sloth in public, looking at them with big wet yellow eyes filled with adoration. hell, i could make another biography post about them. it would be GREAT.

...but for now, is it really the end of choco's lore? am i done??!

i mean, there's not much more to say except that he's been building his relationship with his dad, carrow and chip, and even extended parts of cacao’s big family. also that one thing with the crepenstein musical?? (<- i do want to make a doc on that as well). but you'd probably know all of this anyways if you've been looking at my art.

anyhow, at the time i'm publishing this, it's present day. that is, the 13th of july, 1045. i've got nothing more to add right now, even after months of letting this rot in my drafts, so i hope you're all satisfied with this fairly comprehensive biography of golden flower studios's dark choco cookie (and other tangentially related lore)!

jotaro is my BOYFRIEDN

matching with my bestie @waterlilyduckthro !! also, my banner image is her two lovely ducks, oats and honey <3

💖 i'm kaard, i go by all pronouns! i'm a freshman in uni, studying biology. i'm a jotaro riako, so kudos if you're chronically online enough to know what that means -- otherwise, don't worry about it. i'm also a really passionate polnareff liker •^_^•

i don't really come here anymore, if you wanna see my art follow me on instagram (same username) cuz i'm way more active there

IF YES I MADE AN AWESOME DOCUMENT ABOUT MAGIC SYSTEMS IN MY COOKIE RIN REWRITE AND YOU SHOULD ALL READ IT!!!

i'm gonna add a document outline in a moment so it's easier to navigate and find the stuff you want + i'm always always open to suggestions!!

(you can all read it if you want!)

my shaylaaaa