#juullllssss

The sight bruises your soul even further. You know people mostly men always say the divorce came out of nowhere, but for you it really did. You were so sure that you did everything right. Even signing up to the gym when he started criticizing your appearance.

A deep sigh escapes your lungs, now what? you don't even realize the first tears that escape.

Suddenly there is a handkerchief being slide into your view. Looking up you recognize your ex-husbands lawyer, Mr. Price. You both didn't really talk, but with a shudder you remember how he had reasoned with the judge to finalize the progress. He could have told the judge the sky was red and you would have doubt your own reality. With an air of authority and confidence his baritone voice had everyone listening.

Gritting your teeth you thought about snatching this stupid piece of fabric and just stomping on it, but you held yourself back because of the look in his eyes. For now you couldn't make out what it was, no one had ever looked at you like that. With a shaking hand you reach for the handkerchief. You don't know if the rubbing of his finger across your knuckles could be accidental.

"Don't cry love, he doesn't know what a good woman he had."

Now this got your attention. You straighten up a little, searching for some words, who don't want to come.

"I know it's hard for a loyal thing like you, i will be in contact." with this he steps cautiously back, like he doesn't want to startled you away.

"I'm so sorry, just one moment i will be with you shortly"

But John who is so understanding, "are you sick, love? Should we call someone?"

You can't help but chuckle, "no not sick per se, just pregnant."

And with does words you did something to them. You just don't know it yet.

The boys come back more often, always checking on you, asking questions. Do you have a husband? A boyfriend? when you tell them about your ex the air gets tense. You don't know how to describe it but they seem furious, murderous. In their mind that loser just threw away for what others would die, kill, go to war for.

When your bump gets bigger and you get slower, they start to suggest you stop working. To which you tell them, "No work means no money and i can't afford that."

Cue the 141 come to your kingdom. And they see you, see how much work you put in for your people, or see how gracefully you maneuver between the nobles and others. Not only are you beautiful in their eyes, despite what the others say, you are also educated and open to new ideas and reforms. Maybe that is something Price values in you, clearly wanting to negotiate with you and not your incompetent husband.

But they also realize that the elite of this kingdom does not apricate you.

Mocking you for being a women from another country, or because you don't act on your husbands cheating. Not giving him an heir yet.

So now they are thinking about what to do, a treasure like you can not be ignored, all while they know that you won't just leave your position behind, wanting to help your people. You are fiercely loyal to your responsibilities. Maybe they can get rid of your husband? The Kingdom could certainly use new rulers. And you could need someone who fully loves you.

They bought a Fischerboot, making some money on the side with what they caught. But more then that they enjoy the sea air and the labour which keeps them in shape, their thoughts occupied. One of the many days they were out on the sea, drifting aimlessly, taking a short break from the work of the morning.

Johnny is just leaning on the railing when he hears a bigger wave slam against the boot. Surprising, the sea being still most of the day.

Turning around he stills, looking around, blinking rapidly. Not sure if his fantasies have finally start bleeding into his waking hours. A small head popping out of the water. Clear eyes studying him. He inches closer to the railing, not wanting to spook whatever you are. He starts cooing at you, like at a frightened animal, beckoning you closer. But you stay were you are, head half under water when you disappear into the waves.

Johnny leaning over the railing as far as possible to see were you went. A big hand in his neck jolting him back. Simon looking quizzingly at him. A slight shake of his head when Johnny tells him what he saw. A mermaid? Here, in this bloody sea? Disbelieve from the others as well. Maybe he has lost his mind out here.

One thing is for sure, it wasn't a mermaid.

The next days small things keep happening. A sudden breeze, warm and strong enough to guide them in the right direction. Lasting long enough that they don't need to adjust the sails to much.

Kyle: He is fascinated by your outfit, he enjoys when people are wearing traditional clothes. He enjoys it even more when he can be part of the joy of others and when you dance that is what he sees, Joy, Happiness and Beauty. Staring at you with a dream like gaze while you dance. Sometimes following your steps just to feel how it would be. Would absolutely love when you dance against him, felling the curve of your body ,curling and rubbing, against his own. Complimenting you after and hoping you would show him more of your happiness.

Johnny: That Man is desperate! He is like a dog being thrown a bone. He loves you so excited and carefree. He loves your dance outfits even if he jokes that you should simply dance naked for him. Wants to join right in, even if he is as unflexible as a military men can be. Should you dance for him don't be surprised when he is suddenly throwing you on the bed "for a different kind of show". If he approaches you after a public show one of the others has to keep him back before he drools all over you.

Simon: Is a simple man. You want to dance for him? He is already smitten long before he even sees you in your outfit. Acting like the guard dog he is when you give him a show. Basically banning you for dancing for any body else. He makes it a point in the bedroom that you have to show him something before he indulges you. Slipping the Outfit carefully from your body. Worshipping your body during the act. After your first performance he would simply stare at you, making you uncomfortable until you look at him long enough to encourage him to ask for your number.

König: He is so shy when he sees you for the first time. Fist clenched while you dance. He sees it as the art form it is. Analyzing the choreo admiring how long is must have taken you to learn the dance itself. He really tries not to imagine your body in other ways, knowing it is not indented that way, but failing miserable. Imagine how you would move over his body in a flexible, smooth way. He is a stuttering mess when he approaches you at the end of your show. But he won't hold back ones you give your consent.

Nikto: He would not approach himself. You are a goddess in his eyes, what would you like about a disfigured man like him? But when you start to dance in front of him, clearly eyeing him he is unstoppable. Dance for him in private and he is worshipping the ground you walk on. Body praise all the way, in the bedroom he is on his knees and touching you as if you are the most fragile thing ever. Trying, and failing to hold himself back.

Krueger: Oh he would absolutely sexulize you while you dance. He would be nasty with it. Whistling to you every time you roll your hips a little to much. His eyes basically undressing you during the show. When you agree to meet him afterwards he would not Show how happy he is about it. Masking it with his nasty Humor, but deep down he is elated that a goddess like you is giving him a chance. Would read all about the history of dancing just to relate to you more.

You do not know what kind of face you must have shown him, in the next moment his head slammed against the oak table top. "My Queen, my love, i am at fault, it was in a moment of weakness-"

Already standing your feet move on themselves. Your knees feel so incredible weak. Your handmaid is rushing to your side, a strong arm already around your arm, shouldering most of the weight. Without her you would already be laying on the floor, with how dizzying your head is spinning.

-----

The office is quit, disturbed by the small sniffles and whimpers of the kitchen servant, who is pregnant, and kneeling in front of you right now.

A dear friend, and your handmaid is standing to the side, in front of one of the bookshelves who spann across the whole side of the room. Her hard gaze is not leaving the shivering girl.

It is already late, the shine of the incomplete moon is falling onto your back, keeping your mimic in the shadow for now.

Your head is still pounding, while the ground feels like it could swallow you at any moment. Sinking down onto the chair at your office desk, letting your heavy head sink onto probed up hands. Your voice sounds quitter than usually, "how long?"

Like a scared little mouse her head springs up, "your' majesty, no' that long, just some times, please forgive me..."

With heavy hands you rub over your face, a deep sigh escaping. The urge to just scratch at skin until it bleeds or beating this child in front of you is becoming nearly to much. Swaying back and forth, you gather yourself and stand up. The grinding of the chair seems to terrify the girl even more. A short, cut of cry breaking loose.

Leaning down towards her, you take her jaw into your hands. Feeling the soft skin you look into her eyes. She freezes in the hold. Short, forced breath being the only sound for a moment. Tears catching in the corners of her eyes.

Gulping once you try to keep your voice steady, gather the voice deserving of a queen. "This, is not your fault, my husband made his choice." Slowly letting go of her face, you stand straight, grasping both hands in front of yourself. "What do you wish to do now?"

The Confusion in her wide eyes is clear as day, she sinks down further onto the ground. "I..I wish t' go back to my hometown, raise the babe t'ere."

Another deep breath. "To my knowledge, this would mean a five day journey, would it not?"

"Yes.. m' Queen."

Closing your eyes you turn around, summoning every advice your mother or tutor ever gave you. "You are allowed to stay here, when the baby is born, and you still want to leave for your hometown then you will be free to do so. For now you will be reassigned, the work will begin tomorrow. Dala, bring her out."

Behind your back you could hear shuffling, seems like Dala was moving her towards the door. Before the massiv door could close again, a slightly shrill voice was calling out once again. "M' Queen i'm so sorry, i'm sor-!!!"

The moon was still there, letting her light fall into the high window. Squeezing your eyes shut, starting to rock back and forth again, there is nothing that can keep your own tears back. A wailing cry escaping with them.

Lying your deck down, the picking of the cards was over. It was time for the reveal. Three choices, and three possible fates.

The Fool, Death and Knight of Swords

With a raise of his eyebrow the soldier studies the cards for a second. "Well, that ain't good 's it bonnie?"

You lean back a bit, taking a deep breath, thinking, searching for the right words, to explain the meaning in a way that won't lead him to act rashly.

"Not necessarily, the meaning is not always literally."

One look up to him, the Energie he gives of is indicator enough for you.

"The Fool, acting impulsively and taking your path how you see fit, even if it doesn't match with the expectations around you, not necessary something bad." His shifting feet don't escape your attention.

"Now Death, despite what some might say, is a neutral fate, it can stand for a new chapter in ones life or a life changing event that is about to occur. But it is also a warning, to change means that we have to make a sacrifice, one we might not be ready to make."

He stopped fidgeting a while ago, now only looking at the cards, following the art lines with his baby blue eyes.

"And lastly, Knight of Swords, we always have to remember that a sword has to sides, two sides that are just a fine line away from each other. in your case i think this card stands for a decision, if nothing changes you might follow this fate. The Knight is bold, with good intentions but impetuous. Dashing forward towards something he might not be able to change."

-----

With one last look back the Soldier opens the tent again, now serious stopping for a moment, like he wants to remember this moment. A second later his face is beaming again, with the boyish grin he seems to wear like armor.

"Nice meetin' ya bonnie, maybe we'll see each other again."

And then the opening is closing again, leaving you behind in the dark again.

The Wind was starting to turn colder during this time of the year. You pull the scarf tighter around your neck and shoulders, eyes wandering around the tournament field. Your sister next to you was getting impatient, for the n time she put her blonde hair behind her ear while sighing.

You were not so happy yourself, not being a Fan of the useless violence of a knight Festival, where there were always injuries' in the end. But your father wanted you here, you were now of marriageable age and needed a suitor.... a sigh now escaping you. Looking towards your younger sister you can not help but compare yourself again, just like everyone else always does. She is absolut beautiful with her blonde hair, her dainty nose and slim frame. Compared to her you are just....bigger, not fragile, duller. And she knew it, too. Men always looking her way, the knights seeing her first of the two of you. You didn't hate her, couldn't resent her for it. It is what god gave her....

The Sound of the trumpet signaled the Start of the Riding Tournament, the knights preparing their lances, that is where you first see them. Four knights who appear to be a sworn unit. They stand out among the others, their armor not as shiny, more worn down but not less impressive. Quite the opposite, they give the impression of a knight who experienced Real battle and bloodshed. You shudder when you take a closer look at them, they are....surprising handsome, even the one who is only showing his eyes under the Helmet, his aura being enough to impress. Your sister is the one who brings you out of your trance, you didn´t even realize you were staring.

"Look at them, i hope this time i will be able to give one of them my handkerchief" she was leaning so close in her excitement that she didn't saw the hurt flash in your eyes. You had to admit that you were smitten by them, like a fool you had, for just a moment, had hoped they would look in your direction, too. You were aware of how pathetic your own thoughts of self hate were, but that didn't stop them.