#justpointingout

Feeling like an imposter is real and exhausting!

"No, I'm not an imposter, I do my best, and wait for the honest results' (something you would have never heard from me or many of the people in this world) 

Let's try putting on our thinking cap. Lets start? 

Why do I fail? In life? In attempts? In talent? etc.

Obvious answer: I'm not good enough 

Real answer: i didn't do my best (or something we wish were true)

But the reality is you may not be good enough, even if you did your best it didn't beat the others in your competition. Right? RIGHT???

Pff. Let me get it straight, that was my mind, my thoughts, my pattern, I hope that nobody and I mean NOBODY relates but hey, if you still do, let's think of a solution together...

How about.. practicing? 

No, so I see this extremely intelligent boy.. “You know he isn't intelligent, he's just a bookworm, right? I could be a bookworm too. I'm just not stupid enough to mindlessly read books”

Alright alright.. 

You see that beautiful woman? She's hot right? “But you know she's so stupid, no brains, no heart, and it's just makeup”

Let's see.. 

Look He built a business on his own and it is booming.. “Well, I wish my father was rich like him”

And yes.. I see a problem, a pattern, and I feel a disgusting amount of shame even while I write it.

Now, should I shift towards self help books? Nah. 

I’d rather lie down, do nothing and dwell into this hatred cycle cause I can't really do much, with my hands, legs, brain, mouth (false)

Hey reader, just hang on a bit more reading left.

Let me get myself out there, in the real world with bittersweet struggles and inconveniences, because I don't know anything about myself and I will never know until I'm out there doing stuff, stupid or cool. Let's analyze me, myself and I to hear “Oh I can do this”, “I never knew I had so much patience for people” and “Wait, is this guy praising me for what I painted?” like “My voice isn't annoying when I sing?” Wait wait.. things are getting better for me...

Now, I know the struggle you overcame for the business you own AND your father supports, that man is a book worm cause he enjoys it, and so do I when it comes to something I love. That woman was pretty AND smart, never knew cause I(we) never spoke to her .

Reader? Hey? I think I made my point.

I don't think I'm better than Everybody, I think I'm there.. surviving and well trying to remove a tumor that was growing called hatred due to incompetence