#justbr0ken

I'm a college freshman now. But the truth is that I am haunted.  Haunted by the teachers who didn't know I had ADHD. Every teacher I've ever had has said what a good nice person I am...but that didn't matter,  obviously.  It didn't matter in 6th grade (and 7th) when I was relentlessly tormented by my advanced classes teachers. When I was told time and time again,  "why don't you try harder?" So that even now, nothing I do is ever good enough,  not in my eyes. And when one of my teachers pulled out my entire desk on the floor and told everyone that because mine was such a horrible mess, that everyone know had to clean their desks. When one of my other teachers yelled in front of the class that she would call my parents because my binder was so unorganized.  How I couldn't move on to Algebra 1 in seventh drade because my grades for the year in that class were Advanced, advanced, proficient.  One proficient and I was stuck behind, when others got to skip past pre algebra.  I can link that now to why I no longer like math, to why I had to repeat Trig in high school. To why I can't talk to my professors in college because of an irrational fear of a rejection. 

You should have noticed, teachers, that I was doing my best!! You should have noticed that maybe I had a problem,  and that it wasn't that U needed to be tormented in front of my classmates!  Or that I wasn't smart.

I was NEVER a troublesome kid. I never said anything bad, I never got even a detention.  So why in sixth grade couldnt you see what my psychologist did in 9th grade?  That I had ADHD!  

Maybe I shouldn't be upset or mad about it, but I am. Because you gave kids reasons to bully me. You lowered my self esteem and belief that I was smart. Things you did and said contributed to a 6 year long depression that I still haven't escaped.  Maybe I can't forgive it, because teachers are supposed to positively effect their students lives. But that year, those two teachers negatively effected my life. 

Maybe that is why right now, its on my mind, and I wanted to write it down. Because people don't understand why I am still so upset about those past events,  or why I can't let them go. 

But anyways,  I just needed to vent:'(

[I know those feels, though I never had any teachers treat me so poorly.

See this, teachers? THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD NOT DO TO ANY OF YOUR STUDENTS, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THEY HAVE A DIAGNOSIS!

I’ll watch it on Fridays :)

that was exactly my thoughts…

br: perfect + f

If you sent me love in my ask box... You are a person I admire and who I am so grateful for. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to send me some love. I really have been having a rough day. And I just want to tell you all that you are amazing, and you possibly saved a life today. You are my hero. <33 Stay strong beautiful people. You truly deserve to have the best lives. 

With love,