Ok so,,, I basically just lurk and admire things in my own little corner. I dont use socials. I haven't been on tumblr for a loooong long while. Twitter is,,, scary. But I have to have a place to grieve about this where I can find others who understand. So I'm here. To vent. To find comfort. Let go.
I never formally got to interact with the fandom since I never built up the courage to try (I'm very socially anxious on the internet 💀), but Ranfren has seriously been something special to me over the past year I knew of it and has brought me immense joy in my own small corner.
And I'm Beyond Devastated that this has all come out about Captian.
It was funny!! It was spooky!! It was super funky!! It had anime !!! Its was just the right meld of these elements and god it was a vibe. The level of inspiration I was drawing from their work specifically was on a level I haven't felt before. I dont think another artist has ever griped me with their style like that, given me that "a-ha!" Moment about what direction I wanna take my own style in. It actually was so inspirational it was part of what helped me get back on track last year trying to pursue art school again. Captain's weird and wonderful characters and surreal artworks went on my vision board cause I felt that strongly about wanting to find a style like that. I wanted to try and get the courage to thank Captian one day for seriously giving me hope again, maybe after I got in and refined my own style so I had something to show for it. maybe I would have even cried happy tears and did the whole dreams do come true bit standing in my dormroom.
I'm now not crying happy tears. Just normal ones.
I'm still going to go forward to art school believe me - this is not the only thing that has been pushing me onwards as my household isnt a safe place. Fending of depression and trying to keep all the emotions at bay long enough so I can focus on moving forward, moving twoards living, has taken longer than I'd want to admit. But I seriously didnt need another bullet in my heart through this already trying time.
As much as I dearly love the webcomic, I absolutely cannot condone the harmful actions that have been carried out. and I can't continue enjoying the comic in good conscience when I know these things. And the way it's being handled leads me to believe there likely wont be a satisfactory conclusion to all of this, if there was any hope of one to begin with. Yes, people can change, people make mistakes, but if they can't see the clear pain its causing and realize its vitally important to at least give a small unofficial apology before they make a bigger one, and have the audacity let their friends deflect the blame for them ? When the bloods on their hands? Reguardless of what the truth is I'm doubting they sincirely care based on how it's being handled. And that makes me so sad. So so so so so very sad...
I hope they eventually do the right thing and make an actual apology soon? But I know I will not be able to look at Ranfren with the same soarkle in my eyes. And with all things considered that just fucking sucks.
