Something I really want to do is talk more about now is not then. That fic is so incredibly personal to me
I just don't know if people would be interested and I'm hesitant about sharing a lot of my thoughts on it on the internet
Now is not then to me, was acknowledging some of my demons and putting them to rest as well as giving me an outlet to explore what I went through without stumbling over my words or thoughts
When I write the world melts away and everything comes out so easily and I can seperate myself from things and now is not then is absolutely that
Idk, it's a special fic to me, it's one I could talk about so much, I just don't know if people would listen cause more than anything I want to to be a conversation. I know all the thoughts in my head but I want to know what people think of it and what they're wondering about
Maybe it's self-centered but my work is how I connect to people, it's my in
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Something I really want to do is talk more about now is not then. That fic is so incredibly personal to me
I just don't know if people would be interested and I'm hesitant about sharing a lot of my thoughts on it on the internet
Now is not then to me, was acknowledging some of my demons and putting them to rest as well as giving me an outlet to explore what I went through without stumbling over my words or thoughts
When I write the world melts away and everything comes out so easily and I can seperate myself from things and now is not then is absolutely that
Idk, it's a special fic to me, it's one I could talk about so much, I just don't know if people would listen cause more than anything I want to to be a conversation. I know all the thoughts in my head but I want to know what people think of it and what they're wondering about
Maybe it's self-centered but my work is how I connect to people, it's my in
So turns out I want to talk about it now. I am going to do a directors commentary on it once it's posted, but for now I just need to say things about it
A lot of this will probably be in the directors commentary but I just need to talk about it
It's 3am so please forgive my crazed ramblings
So this fic is riding right off of my ace week fic and the dichotomy of that brings me a lot of joy but also really encapsulates asexuality as a whole to me
Please keep in mind I'm very much in the "young" part of young adulthood and this is purely my experience I do not claim to be an expert
But to me, being aspec doesn't really mean absolutely no sex, it just means a complicated relationship with sex and sexual activities. I land in the sex-repulsed part of asexuality, but I write and read smut quite happily. Writing smut is actually super liberating to me and makes me feel more secure in my asexuality really
The sex worker au is a lot of me letting go of shame and really trying to stop caring and also having a lot of fun with my work. There's so many layers to even the scenes with the heaviest smut in this but the layers often aren't there intentionally, they're meant to just be horny points but when dealing with a fic like this they inevitably become more
George is the sexpert as I like to call him. He's been in every position he's tried loads of different toys and he's used to his body being used like a thing
In direct comparison to Dream who's just had pretty basic sex before and this is his first forray into kink. He's done hookups and long term relationships so he definitely functions where sex can just be sex no strings attached but he also does crave emotional connection, something he's actually finding in kink but he doesn't really understand that yet
In choosing their dynamics it was actually a little complicated.
I personally prefer bottom Dream. I'll read whatever but stick mostly to writing him as a bottom. I also prefer writing Dream's pov
But I knew that this fic needed to be told from the POV of the sex worker and I nearly gave that role to Dream.
The reason I didn't was because emotionally, the sex worker would have to be less attached. To them, it's a job they do for money and really that wouldn't work with how I like to characterize Dream but it works perfectly with George
It's not that George isn't attacked. Moreso that he has a lot more control over his emotions
I'm actually reaching a super interesting point in the fic right now where we're starting to see things shift ever so slightly but it's still a long journey to get there
I am 10k words in and I don't feel like I've hit the halfway point yet. If the fic keeps going in this direction it will most likely be my my longest fic yet
Would anyone be interested in a directors commentary of my sex worker au when I eventually finish it?
There's a *lot* I want to talk about in regards to it. Between the way I'm writing way outside my comfort zone, the contents of it and the journey I've taken writing it
I just wanted to make something clear with everything going on
In my fics there's a lot of mentions of a shitty ex. There's one mentioned if not heavily featured in three out of my five fics
The ex has always had will always be my personal experience. I promise that I'm not writing this sort of stuff because it's something Dream went through
I just feel a little weird about having that right now but at the end of the day it's not his ex I'm writing about and I wanted to put this out there for my conciousness
Later I'll go and add disclaimers on those fics but yeah, just so everyone knows I'm not some freak using Dream's truama as a plot point. That's my truama lmao
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Hi I’m here I want to hear all about your au!! Who’s in it? What’s the premise? What flavor of Feels are we working with here??
Crow! Hiiiii
Ok so the au currently it's George and Dream (but I'm currently cooking up a plot point to get Sapnap in there too)
George pov, George is an escort and Dream hires him but when he gets there turns out Dream hired him out because of peer pressure and he didn't actually want sex
Dream tries to get him to just watch a movie but George insists and Dream caves (all consensual) and Dream has an amazing time and George is a little enamoured because Dream was so soft the entire time
Dream keeps hiring him and George keeps going and they both fall for each other a little at a time but George is especially hesitant to cross the line between them (even though they've been blurring the line slowly over the course of the fic)
Also, in the part I'm about to write, George was mistreated by his previous client so Dream decides he wants to take care of George instead of the other way around for once
I have written something smut before but this is breaking into a lot of new territory for me which is super exciting!
I don't usually end my fics off with a quote, it's not really my style, but this fic demands it.
I'm looking for a quote that says something about love/protection/healing
I had two options I was playing around with but I don't love either of them. If you have a suggestion, leave a comment on this post, reblog my post with it, or send an ask. All I ask is that you tell me the quote and where it's from. Below the cut I'll leave the two options I had so you can see what I'm going for as well as the last little chunk that leads into the quote (it's a little rough I'm sorry I haven't had anyone look it over yet and I haven't had a change too either 😅)
Here's the two options I had picked out, like I said please use these for ~vibes~
“But there's a beginning in an end, you know? It's true that you can't reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. Start fresh.”
-Alexandria Bracken
and
“The most important thing you ever did was learn how to survive. Do not let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't have.”
One of the most interesting things about writing is the way I can just put actual events in my fics and even my friends would be none the wiser
The reaction when he comes out as bi is fictional, but my ex did say some weird stuff about bi people. The reaction to him coming out as ace is pretty much word for word what happened unfortunately
(Chelsea is just an OC, the story is dnf at its core but I'm telling two stories in it, a past relationship and George)
