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Hurricane/Tropical Storm Day Convo At My House
Brother: The Impossible Girl became a guardian of the galaxy.
Me: No. The Girl Who Waited became a guardian of the galaxy. The Impossible Girl became Queen Victoria.
Brother: Whatever, she waited to become a Guardian of the Galaxy.
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Retail Moments:
Going into work after my grandboss (my boss’s boss) showed up and saw one of my coworkers on their phone and when he asked them if they had anything better to do than be on their phone and they said “no, that’s why I’m on my phone 😐” and now we have Corporate Mandated Shit To Do like we don’t have ENOUGH GOING ON ALREADY
We just adopted a dog????
He’s so tiny, he’s so shy, but he’s starting to relax with our little hellion Yorkie who doesn’t give a rats ass about another dog in the house.
I love my (irl) sisters Gaslight and Ragebait
(Pics loosely associated with each sister)
Gaslight (middle sister) genuinely made one of her guy friends crash out for like 10 minutes because she honest to god gaslit him about the word “gaslight” by saying that “no man, it’s gaslamping, you’ve SAID gaslamp before” and it took him like 10 minutes to figure it out.
.
Ragebait (youngest sister) was going to do a favor for her bestie but texting doesn’t communicate tone too well so she ended up getting a call from said friend where she proceeded to go “mmmm I’ll think about it” “I’ll have to ask mama” “oh actually I might be busy that day let me check my calendar” while her friend is going “TF YOU MEAN JUST SAY YES OR NO GANG”. My sister knowing damn well she already said yes and is just fucking around with her.
.
Anyways I love my girls they’re hilarious and could use their talents for evil but instead they are simply just goofy sweethearts
Found a bunch of voicemails from my Granny who passed at the beginning of the year and now I’m sobbing at my desk bc I have to get ready for work but I just want to call my Granny and hear her happy voice say “Well hullo my sweet princess! To what do I owe the pleasure of a phone call?”
Fuck, grief is weird ain’t it.
Wdym I can’t just call her now.
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Tales from Juno’s Retail Job
Folding shirts at my work and after 20+ minutes of children hollering and parents yelling at their kids and corporate music blasting over the loudspeakers, there’s about five seconds worth of blessed holy silence
And then
Like how the devil takes ahold of you when you least expect it, I hear the intro to Dance Monkey
⛔️ Vent lowkey ⛔️
Went to a church event for my friend (complicated but tldr: neither of us are Christian, but due to current circumstances we are both moderately/heavily involved with our childhood churches)
Went to the event (VBS) and it was the pastor/youth leader talking in their teacher voices about the ritual sacrifices that the Israelites used to do in order to atone for their sins, namely sacrificing a goat or a lamb. None of these kids were older than ten.
Oh and they had a white sheet with red paint on it with the crown of thorns above it over the door so you had to go under the “bloody” cloth to get in and out of the church.
Sometimes I’m slapped in the face by how fucked up the Bible is. And I was RAISED on those stories. Like I think I’ve remembered how wild it was but then I watch as these same fucked up stories are told to LITERAL CHILDREN while their parents are sitting there nodding and smiling along to the sermon.
Boss: Juno irl, we need to discuss your October requests off.
Me: Sure.
Boss: For October 6th, you wrote Pedro Pascal gay cowboy movie?
Me: Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t know the title.
Boss: You can’t see it after work?
Me: Well, I already stopped myself from going to Spain to see it, so…
Boss: On October 13th, you just wrote “It’s a Friday.”
Me: Yep. That’s probably my mental illness.
Boss: And then on October 27th, you wrote 1989 TV?
Me: Yeah, I didn’t take off Midnights or Speak Now TV.
Boss: So that’s why you were insufferable?
Me: Pretty much.
