#junmin angst

The sound of rain clouded your mind, your mood similar to the gloomy dull sky above you. You were known as the star student in your dance institute, ofcourse you were happy, but it became a burden at certain times. And you blame yourself. You always look up to your brother Ham Jinsik who was the institute's ace, wanting to be like him. When you joined you knew you had to be better than anyone else as Jinsiks sister. However with the amount of work piling up on you along with practices made you loose your spark. Unfortunate to you, everyone noticed that change in you, including your not so secret crush Park Junmin. Today was the day you were looking forward for the most, the auditions that would get you a role in one of the upcoming play in The National Theatre of Korea. Something you always dreamt to dance in ever since you were a kid. Only for it all to go downhill. You were known as a ballet prodigy, but that title soon dipped after your teacher said she was disappointed in your rehearsal. You wouldn't get the part you looked forward to for 14 years of your life.

You slowly walked through the bustling streets, rain pouring down on you harshly. You were drenched, your clothes hugging you tightly as water dropped down. Everything felt so surreal. You found yourself sobbing as you dragged yourself, each step as heavy as how your heart felt. Some would say you were being dramatic, but this was your first love. Not to mention how your 10 years of friendshio with your so called friend group ended on the same day too. With them taunting at you untill you stepped out of the building. Turns out they just used you to get closer to your brother and we're the ones that created rumours and hoped for your downfall.

You stopped to wipe your tears, finally looking up. Your vision was blurry but you saw how everyone seemed to be happy. Everyone except you. Students sharing umbrellas, couples joking around and holding hands as they ran to seek shelter.

Your soft sobs turned into louder gasps as you tried to maintain your composture, flashbacks of your teachers looking at you with a crown on their face and your friends asking if you hurt yourself to have done your rehearsals that bad came flooding to your mind. Your head lowered again, you were shaking. Not because of the cold breeze that swept by you. You ran away from that place. The last thing you'd want is for someone to recognise you and tell the whole academy on how you weeped in the middle of the street because your a looser.

Unaware to you, someone was indeed watching you.

Your pace slowed down as you reached a park. Your park. The place you'd come to often. It was your brother who bought you here as a kid, a comfort place you two shared. Usually your brother would be sitting beside your swing, hugging you and telling how everything would be alright. He wasn't. He was away for a short trip with his friends. You were alone and it made you feel miserable.

Too many things clouded your mind and it made you feel more vulnerable and confused. Finally letting your feelings out, your knees dropped to the sandy ground, your head rested onto the seat of the swing you always played in as you cried helplessly. You felt stupid, you danced your entire life, what happened to you? Was it finally the time for you to let go of dance and focus on studies instead? You weren't ready for it, just the thought of leaving the one thing you lived for made your stomach churn in the wrong way.

Your ears perk up at the sound of hurried footsteps, as you lift your head you see junmin running, his head peeking side to side as his eyes searched for you. You wanted to call out to him, but your lisp refused to move. You felt your throat dry up as junmin finally looks at your devastated state.

You've known junmin for a whole year, you two were inseparable. Everytime junmin visited your house jinsik would sulk cuz he went straight to your room instead of looking at his clingy bestfriend.

He carefully stepped forward, reaching his hand out to you for you to hold. You hesitantly grab onto his hand and stand up and before you could even speak he pulled you into a hug. The sound of rain slowly faded as your mind only thought about junmin. His grip around your waist tightened, he brought his one hand upto your hair, caressing gently as he muttered 'its gonna be ok' into your ears. you were instantly reminded of your brother, giving you another reason to bawl your eyes out infront of the guy you so dearly loved. This is not how you wanted him to see you. Embarrassment slapping you in the face hard as you helplessly cried onto his shoulder, rambling about how shitty your day was in spite of preparing well and even going to bed early which you never did.

Junmin chuckles before breaking the hug, he cups your cheeks, his thumbs wiping the tears away. He leans to kiss your eyelids. "Y/n you did amazing, you just misunderstood! Your teacher did take you in, she just said she was disappointed in you and not that she wouldn't take you in? Your literally the best performer this academy has ever had!!" He says, you purse your lips together, still in doubt. You smile at him regardless as you let him walk you home.

You were greeted by your brother at the doorstep, you run to hug him as junmin started at you with a find smile. Oh the things he'd do for you to hug him the same way.  jinsik ofcourse scolded his hyung and you on how you two let yourselves get so drenched under the rain as you two snickered at how cute jinsik looked . Your smile immediately turned into a frowned and worried expression as your hands searched your neck for your necklace. It was your parents gift to you when you started your first ever dance class. You turned to look at junmin who was as worried as you. The moment he laid his eyes on your hands that were fidgeting around your neck and pockets he realised it was about the necklace you always loved and showers around to your friends. Jinsik caught the hint too. "It's ok y/n I'm sure you must have left it at the studio, we'll search tomorrow I promise" he says as an attempt to calm you down and send junmin to his dorms before the poor boy catches a cold.

The next morning you wake up to your brother screaming and running to your room as he held your necklace in the air. You squeal along with him as you two jumped on the bed like two happy hamsters. That was until it hit you. How did he find it if he didn't even go to the studio?

"How did you get it?" You questioned to which he smiled and said "Junmin hyung got it for you! He searched the whole night in the rain at the park and found it near one of the bushes of the swing. He said he got a cold though so he wouldn't come to academy- also promise me you wouldn't tell this to him?" You tilt your head to the side in confusion, "tell him what?" You ask.

"Junmin was the one to convince your teacher to let you into the play. Poor boy practically begged to take you in." He said, making you fall for the man even more. Before even saying a word you only out the door, running to his dorms.

You knocked on his door twice, waiting impatiently for junmin and once he opened his door you immediately ran to hug him. The impact causing him to stumble back to a wall. He looked at you worried, "you ok?" He asks with a croaky voice. you look up to face him, you two stared at each other in silence. junmins eyes glanced at your lips, unconsciously inching his face towards yours. Before he could even make a move, you pecked the corner of his lips. not wasting a single minute junmin pulls you and his lips were on yours. he kissed you so sweetly and gently, caressing your cheeks as he shyly smiled between your lips. your hands shifted from his shoulders to his neck, pulling him closer. Junmin swayed you around the dim lit hall, how you wished to never part away. he breaks the kiss, leaving a small peck your cheek, you smile at how red the boy was, his ears were practically on fire. The poor boy couldn't form words so instead he just gazed at your equally shy figure.

The cute moment lasted only for a few minutes as yechan called out to his hyung from their shared room, junmin groaned in response as you giggled. "Looks like you have to leave" you smiled to which junmin nodded, he felt cold as you slipped away from his arms and walked to the door, "thank you by the way, for the necklace. You didn't have to go through so much trouble" you say as you turned back to see junmin rubbing the back of his neck. "I only want to see you smile y/n, the way I smile and millions of butterflies swarm throughout my body and my whole world is filled with flowers just by looking at you, I wish to see you just as happy and contented with me as I do with you" he says, you were fighting the urge to just kiss him again but you didn't want to an annoyed yechan to see his older brother and his best friend being all lovely dovey in the morning, moreover he would bring it up for the rest of your life and tease you on it so you passed on the opportunity. Junmin however held your hand before you could turn to walk away and kissed you one last time before you could leave.