#junkielife

Heroin made me feel sexy. Made me feel like I could do whatever I wanted without my mind making me feel weird about it. Where I normally don’t have any self confidence, it gives me tons! Sober, I’m full of anxiety and depression. I don’t speak a lot because I don’t want to look like a fool. On heroin, I didn’t care about looking like a fool or not! I was full of outgoing self confidence. And at the same time I just feel great. Sure my nose itches, whatever. Eventually if I slow down I’ll start to nod, whatever.

But they never tell you about the withdrawals, the money it’ll eventually cost, the abscesses, the infections, and the complete despair, the shame, the isolation, the ruined relationships, having no control, and now that needle can’t even make you pretend to love yourself anymore. It just makes your body not feel like it’s ripping its self apart for 6 hours.

I'm dopesick AS FUCK right now but my best friend came over today & brought a couple of the LCI 1353 Dilaudid - 2mg. I've shot dilaudid before, but last time it was a completely different brand & mg, not to mention my friend was the one who prepped the dilaudid shot for me. Anyways, these LCI 1353 pills are sooooo fucking syrupy, the other night my best friend & I tried so hard to fix up a shot but no matter how much water we added or how much we heated it up, it was just too thick to suck up in the needle. Eventually he just threw the whole spoon across the road because he was pissed off seeing as how he was pill sick too. We're desperate to get it right this time, I really can not watch him throw 4 perfectly good dilaudid across the road again, my soul simply CAN NOT bare it. Lol. Has anyone else experienced this in a dilaudid? If so, any advice on how to liquefy it so we can finally do a shot would be greatly appreciated.