#jungkook posts

―genre: fluff; angst; minimal smut.

―characters: jeongguk x female reader | no supporting character.

―w.c: 2.3K

―author`s note: i hope you feel as beautiful as gguk sees you, as always. thank you for requesting, i hope it gives you enough happiness. much love <33

[11:40 PM] [the frantic footsteps and the panting of someone whose heart is almost falling out of their chest]

―jeongguk felt the cold mid-january night air hitting his face like pins. he could feel the pain of the cold imaginary needles piercing through his skin. the sweat covered white t-shirt that he wore for late night gym didn`t do any justice either because the wind like the play it played with the t-shirt making a series of shivers to run through his spine. the veins that were coming up underneath his skin made it seem like someone is drawing a fantasy all over his body.

he was scared to pass by that girl`s house who lives next to his girlfriend. he was scared because that girl always knows when he`s coming out and in from your house and at night when he comes back from the gym all sweaty and feeling hot, from the corner of his eyes, he could almost see her fanning herself. more than being cocky, he felt like shooting himself right there. so that`s what it feels like to be checked out when you don`t want? so that`s what it feels like when people give you attention?

now he understood why you always feel like that. now he understood why you feel like people shouldn’t give you attention. now he understood why you feel like you are not beautiful enough to walk hand in hand with him because all people do is whisper about how jeongguk, a tall, extremely hand and muscular boy is not what girls like you should walk around with and call him your boyfriend. now he realized everything.

almost sprinting to the front door, jeongguk placed his forehead against the wooden surface, breathing heavily. if it had been a glass door, he could see it fogging up with his exhales. but he thanked god that it wasn`t a glass door because then he would see you on the other side being worried about his tiring state.

jeongguk knew that you know about this girl who lives next door. he knows his girlfriend isn`t stupid and mentally mediocre. maybe that`s the reason he fell in love with you. he was surprised when you returned his texts after two days you saw him at the same class in the college. he was extremely surprised when you told him that instead of parties, you like visiting parks and museums and spend countless hours talking about history and the people in them. if there was anything left for him to not fall in love with you was when you told him that you like people who record videos and pictures because then, it makes those people memorable. it makes those people artists.

he remembered that day when he took your face in his and kissed you not until you were breathless and gripping onto his t-shirt for release. you were shocked and jeongguk had laughed telling you that your intellect kind of turns him on.

“you must be stupid.” you had said to him that day while walking back to your home. when he asked why, you said, “beautiful things are to be kissed and loved. i`m not anything like that.”

turning the knob of the front door, jeongguk walked in. so you`ve made ramen again today. ugh, no wonder he`s so fucking in love with you. but every night he comes back home, there`s this fear which suddenly creeps up on him – what if you`re gone being not able to keep your composure? what if you`re done being his girlfriend? it`s been one year since he kissed you for the first time and three months later, both of you had made love to each other. it was all awkward for you but when jeongguk had giggled against the soft part of your neck, you couldn`t help but let out a laugh too. you both were laughing, looking at each other, caressing each other all night, sometimes you both were panting against each other when he picked up the pace of his hips against yours. it was all different from what you had always thought. but, what about those insecurities? what about those when jeongguk is gone outside for his gym, his lens shopping, his part-time job? when he`s not in front of you? when you both are in the same building but in separate rooms and girls are whispering nuisance behind you?

jeongguk closed the door, took off his shoes and walked inside the little apartment you both live in. it was previously occupied only by you, then jeongguk came it saying he would like to spend more time with you and stay with you along with knowing everything about you. first, you hesitated but when he smiled that beautiful smile and gave you the option that you can say no if you want, you thought maybe this boy won`t do much harm even though his muscles don`t lie much often.

he knew you weren`t attracted to him because of his good looks, his strength, his passionate way of loving you. you were attracted to him just like a book you love reading whenever you`re down, just like your favourite song, just like you love museums and window shopping. you loved him because he likes creating memories and he has this little passion of his to know you. first, you thought, why would a guy like him try to know you? then jeongguk had told you that maybe it`s just your presence which makes him feel at home.

the smell of ramen was distinct and the door of the bedroom was unlocked. taking his sweat-drenched t-shirt off, jeongguk threw it into the laundry basket. currently, he was half-naked and his skin finally felt like breathing. he took a new breath and pushed open the door.

the panic that was rising up in his chest was indescribable. the view in front of him made him take a double take and sprint into the room, checking the bathroom, the closet, everywhere if he could find you. jeongguk felt like crying. he threw himself onto the unmade bed. even it smelled like you and ramen.

this. this is exactly the thing that he was fearing. if there was one thing that he has never told you then it would be that he fears when people leave him. that`s the biggest fear he has and he couldn`t think of anything because everything inside him was collapsing and he was like “where to find you?” it`s not like you`ve taken your bag, your belonging, your sanitary products along with you. it`s just your shoes and an orange jacket was missing.

pulling on another clean t-shirt and taking care of his phone, jeongguk got out of the apartment. running across the street his eyes roamed all around the place. a few minutes, jeongguk realized, a few minutes and he would lose every wit of his to live in this world anymore. if it doesn`t have you, then he would gladly give up his life.

he asked the mid-january night – who would go out with him and visit art galleries, photo collections? who would take long city walks just for the sake of watching the sunset from the top of the local bridge? who would browse through the thrift shops and buy antiques with him? who would be the one on the other side of the lens while he creates all these memories?

then he blamed himself for being inefficient. being stupid to realize that walking with him, talking with him all in public must be such a stress-filled job for you. maybe he should have been sincere and knowledgeable about your different persona with him when you`re at home, inside the comfort of the four walls and the large open slider with white transparent curtains flowing with the air. maybe he is stupid to not see through your hesitation to sit with him in the cafeteria and opt for the solace of the library. fuck you, jeon jeongguk, he cursed in his mind, how can he realize all this now when you are nowhere around him?

maybe this is how fate works. maybe it was your act of fleeing that made him realize how much emotionally he was dependent on you. for the first time, looking at a girl like you, he wasn`t feeling like knowing how warm it would feel to be inside you, how much you would moan out his name in vain, how much physical pleasure you would give him. he was thinking how you would take him to another world by the voice you speak, by the way, you intertwine your fingers with him, by the way, you say him to do what his heart wishes. for the first time after meeting you, he wasn`t thinking from his dick, instead, he was thinking from that organ inside his ribs and the place underneath that skull.

jeongguk panted while kneeling down on the road. where can you go especially at this time of the night? he decided to check the local park (it was closed and he returned with a painful squeeze of his eyes), then the local late night book store (the owner said she hasn`t seen you for last two weeks). frustrated and angry at himself, jeongguk started running again. the growl in his stomach told him that he had just finished his gym session some half an hour ago and that he really needed food and especially a hug from you.

also, fuck that pizza joint! why is it open at such a la – wait? the same orange jacket, the same pattern of hair, the same slouching of the shoulders. a few more steps and jeongguk felt like finally finding water in the vast land of the desert all around him. he stumbled into the shop, completely waving off the girl with the biggest smile and eyes checking him out. running towards your table, he faced your sitting figure, calmly cutting off a slice of pizza with a knife. but wait – so you were crying. because it was evident around our eyes. they were red and puffy and way you were still pulling your nose it showed that you were crying.

“gguk?” you asked, completely aware of his panting, his wide doe eyes and his trembling hands. “sit down. wanna have a slice?” the heaviness of your voice wasn`t there anymore even though you`ve been crying for a while now. but you can`t cry in front of him, because then he might see you in a way you don`t want him to see. then you heard a sound – a type of sound you never heard not until now.

jeongguk had fallen on his knees and his hands are gripping onto your pyjama clad legs as he cries ever so loudly as he can. he was literally wailing like a baby who got hurt from falling down and hurting its leg. jeongguk`s uncontrollable sobs and wailing continued as he continued slamming his forehead against your knees.

“jeongguk.” it was a whisper. maybe he didn’t even hear you calling his name in vain, in surprise and in a way when you`re all alone and you want him to answer in silence.

“i almost died. i almost died thinking that maybe you left me. that you can`t take me anymore.” gulping down the lump, he continued in-between his sobs, “ i love you so much, y/n. please don`t leave me. i can`t – i can`t live without you. i`m sorry if i ever was ignorant of your feelings. i know how much difficult it is for you to be with me but i`m sorry. i`m so sorry, please come back, please come to me. please be with me. i beg,” the sobbing increased, now he was almost yelling and crying, like begging for his life to be back, “i beg you please. i want you, i want you a lot. i love you. i love” each love came with each little slam of his forehead against your knees, “love love love love you, please please!”

you couldn`t do anything. you understood what must have gone through his mind when he found out after coming from the gym that you weren`t in the house. for a second you felt the shiver that must have ran through his spine when he couldn`t see you in the field of his vision.

you leaned forward and engulfed his head which rested against your thighs and softly cries along with him. you palmed his shoulders to stop the constant shaking of them. you caressed his back, feeling the sweat and strong back muscles under your palm.