bro i hate itzsubz why is he like that. wrapped up in his stupid one track mind of getting banned. repeats repeats i dont care i dont care i hate this place get me out. ignores the burning untouched feelings in the back of his mind. focus on getting banned to push anything else to the side. because he’s thought and thought and thought… came to this one conclusion, final solution of leaving after countless hours of isolation with his thoughts (sounding familiar…)
and it’s like, he will ignore uncomfortable feelings. he believes he can run away. if he goes far enough he doesn’t have to deal with the server. he’s tried. but now, the sun burns, stars bore their eyes into him, and he’s surrounded by deepslate… where everything bad happened. he cant run from ANYTHING. even the end… his first safe space… so he thinks that by leaving the server, he can leave it all behind. and he’s cluttered up his base, no place to channel zam onto the walls. his s6 base was his starter so it makes sense that it’s cluttered and messy but not to this extent.. like he’s purposefully making it garrish and distracting. so that he can grind villagers and zombies instead of., well think of anything else.
because he never processed those s4 events he can’t move past it he’s genuinely still very bitter about it. nobody is surprised at this. like his hand is still stained with purple ink and he sees it and he hates it. he doesnt build anymore because he sees quartz and glass and its just too much. his thing with mapicc he indulged in because it felt like old times and he can still pretend nothing ever happened. it’s so .grrrrrr. (not to mention how i think they r kinda similar in that if there’s nothing left for them they will leave. i think subz understands why mapicc left on a personal level…)
it’s also he’s embraced being the ’villian’ something vitalasy couldn’t handle and it’s sooooo. he saw how attachment was vitalasys downfall so hes making sure nobody not even us can get an emotional grasp on him. he can only bring up eclipse in a detached way, or at least he tries to. (he ‘dgaf’ abt zam but he still read all of his signs abt mapicc. sure girl!) u can see the bitterness leak out of him. and there’s moments of sweetness too, where he keeps his promise to vi, if vi needs him, he’ll log on. i guess this is subz picking up where vitalasy left off, ending the world.
subzam convo would make me worse. it would not save me. zam accepted subz resignment, because he understands it now why subz leaves. the first time he tried to bring him back and well… zam got told before (by subz himself) why subz can’t stay but he didn’t want to believe it before. he still doesnt want to believe in it, but he understands it now. if that’s what subz wants. 3: (i still think there’s hope… but maybe im too optimistic) zam’s feelings abt subz r still unresolved, mirroring subz feelings abt eclipse. taking a good long look at zams new shield and the subz princeaxe-> eclipse axe. i hope that bubble pops and they are so so so so messy about it.
i hope bacon talks to subz more and i hope they get freaked out by each other more. bacon is probably internally sighing to himself abt getting zam to break up with vitalasy 2 yrs ago. cuz these guys r too messy…
but anyway yeah fuck this guy.
