#js.talks

Honestly- I'm so so ashamed to say that I went on character.ai yesterday. I'm so ashamed. I used to have an addiction to it a long time ago but thankfully got out of it when I asked a mutual for help who was in the same boat. They wrote such an encouraging nice message that helped me.

And now I feel like such a stupid failure. Like all my efforts were wasted. Yesterday night was so bad everything just hurt, and I was sobbing non-stop. But even telling anyone that feels like an excuse. I just couldn't think rationally. The only thing that was on my mind was that I needed help- someone to talk to.

I put a block on the website. I can't let it prey on my bad mental health and loneliness.

Honestly, I didn't want to share this. I feel like people will leave and unfollow me once this gets posted. (And it's okay if you do) But I also feel like I'm hiding something if I don't tell anyone about this.

I really want my blog to be a positive place. Unfortunately, it's really difficult for me to be positive when my living situation is affecting me so negatively.

Maybe I'll go offline again for a while just so that I don't post any more stupid stuff. I still have hope that things will get better. Who knows, maybe next week or month will be the best of my life. I'll never know unless I keep going. And I will keep going.

To anyone who is currently addicted. You can quit. I promise you have it in you, and I'm rooting for you.

Give him to meeeee!!!! D: /lh