#jramblesaboutsoap

DownBad!Pete Dinunzio x Crush!GN!Reader

- Pete doesn’t crush. He obsesses.

- The moment he realizes he actually likes you, he short-circuited and denied it completely.

“No, I don’t like them. They’re just… not annoyin’. That’s different.”

How would Pete Dinunzio confess to GN!Reader

- It doesn’t start romantic. It starts with him pissed.

- You’re talking to someone else. Someone too close. You’re laughing.

- Pete’s in the background pretending not to notice, chewing the end of a pen like it insulted him.

Beach Day with the Eltingville boys!!

GN!Reader

- You’re all gathered in Bill’s basement when you suddenly go,

“We’re going to the beach. Sunday. Show up or I’ll personally drag you there, but not before burning every single one of your limited edition figurines.”

- And that’s how you get everyone to reluctantly agree 😼

- Bill groans like you just told him he’s being drafted,

- Josh immediately starts going off about the sun and how he hates sand,

- Pete refuses for a whole, but then goes “fine” and then follows it with “wait, are there jellyfish?”

- (he wanted to go the whole time)

- and Jerry just blinks and nods 😭

- You don’t explain, you just keep planning like you didn’t hear any of them 🤷

- Sunday hits, and you pack a bag with Caprisuns, sunscreen, sandwiches, and chips, because you’re the only one with a functioning brain cell and basic survival instincts 😔

- Pete shows up first, he’s in a wife beater that is very quickly discarded (probably for the best), swim trunks with some tacky skull print, and flip flops… with socks. Gross.

- He’s already eating a bag of chips that wasn’t even his, drops half of them in the sand within minutes, picks them back up and keeps eating them, saying it adds “crunch.”

- Bill shows up in a dark grey shirt, swim trunks that look like he dug them out of his (nonexistent) dad’s closet, and flip flops that he immediately regrets 😭😭

- He stays at the edge of the parking lot for like thirty straight minutes, arms crossed, sunglasses on, looking like an off-duty lifeguard who hates his job and everyone around him 😭😭

- You wave at him and pretends not to see you 🙄

- Jerry shows up looking like a camp counselor 😔

- Green shirt, blue swim trunks, sandals.

- The second he hits the sand he’s on a mission. He starts building sandcastles like he’s getting paid for it 😼

- Josh… oh, Josh.

- He shows up in all black. Black shirt. Black cargo shorts. Black flip flops. 😭

- He sets up a towel under the umbrella and refuses to move from it, the first thing out of his mouth is “the sun is actively trying to kill me,”

- and he spends the next hour rotating between complaining about heat, eating whatever you have in your bag, and accusing the wind of being “specifically targeted towards him”

- Pete and Jerry spend most of the time near the shore building increasingly unstable sand structures,

- Jerry tries to give his castle lore, Pete tries to smash it every three minutes,

- and at one point Pete starts digging aggressively, saying he’s “gonna find a crab if it kills him.” (Spoiler: he doesn’t.)

- Bill finally makes his way over to the rest of you after staring at the group from a distance like he’s watching a crime scene,

- he sits down, immediately gets sand in his soda, and goes, “This is why I don’t go outside. Nature is a scam.”

- You offer to help him reapply sunscreen. He says no. That’ll come back to haunt him later🤷

- You, Jerry, and Pete are the only ones who go in the water 😭

- Josh stays under the umbrella like it’s a bunker 😔

- Bill doesn’t even look at the water until you’re already ankle-deep

- Jerry gets freaked out by seaweed within five minutes and power-walks back to the shore saying “something touched me” over and over.😭😭 (I fear he’s me 😔)

- Pete stays in, splashing around, daring the ocean to fight him. You don’t ask.

- By the end of the day, everyone’s sand-covered, sweaty, and cranky.

- Pete looks like a cooked shrimp because he refused to put on sunscreen and claimed “real men embrace pain.” (he says as he recoils everytime someone touches him😭)

- Bill is sunburnt RED on just his neck and shoulders because he refused to reapply sunscreen. Said it “wasn’t necessary.” Right. 😒

- Josh is still under the umbrella, muttering about dehydration,

- Jerry’s trying to say goodbye to his sandcastle before it gets washed away,

- Pete’s eating a soggy sandwich he found under his towel like it’s gourmet,

- And you feel like you’ve been babysitting four big toddlers.

- You take a photo before you leave. It’s awful. 😭😭

- Pete’s flipping off the camera,

- Jerry’s smiling extremely awkwardly 😭,

- Josh is squinting into the sun like he’s being interrogated,

- and Bill is halfway out of frame, clearly trying to escape.

- You print it anyway, and tape it to your wall :3

- You’ll never let them live it down 😼

- And next time, you’re bringing water balloons.

- Just to cause problems 🤷🤷

I HOPE YOU LIKED THESEEEEEEE

Bill Dickey x Male!Reader HCs!!

- Bill would rather die than admit he likes you.

- At first, he treats you like a rival, like an annoying fanboy who barely knows what he’s talking about 😭😭

- He corrects you constantly, doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong 😭

“That’s not what he said exactly in issue #143, but okay.”

- You think he hates you. He does not. He’s just scared and spiraling 🤷

- You say something like, “I think I like Cyclops more than Wolverine,” and he just stares at you for one full minute like you committed a war crime 😭

- Yells at you during debates, gets red in the face, all puffed up and smug, and then immediately regrets it 😛

- He can’t stop checking if you’re mad at him afterward, discreetly ofc, like glancing at you briefly before looking away when you look back over and over 😭

- Never compliments you directly, but you catch him saying things like:

“I mean yeah, you’re wrong, but at least you’re not a poser like those other idiots.”

- Once referred to you as “tolerable.” That was the most sincere thing he’s ever said about anyone 😼😼

- Lets you touch his comics. Not read them, let’s not get crazy. But you can look 😛

- Has a special space on his shelf where he secretly puts issues he thinks you’d like, plays it off like he “just had extras.” 😼

- You once beat him in an argument and he didn’t talk to you for two days. Then showed up at your house with a bag of chips and a new X-Men issue like nothing happened 🤷

- The club doesn’t know about you. Can’t. Won’t.

- If any of the guys mention you, his face goes stone-cold, shrugs, and says

“He’s just some guy from the arcade.”

- One time, you showed up near the club while they were hanging out, Bill had to distract the others and physically drag you aside to tell you, “You can’t just show up like that.” with shaking hands 😔

- The idea of being seen with you terrifies him. Not because of you, because of what it means about him 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

- When it’s just the two of you, he’s quieter, still snarky, still annoying, but… softer, a little less armor :3

- You’ve caught him staring multiple times, and every. time. he looks away so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash 😭

- When you walk home together, he’ll step between you and the road without saying anything. it’s (boyfriend) instinct 😛😛

- Refuses to call it a relationship, says “this isn’t a thing.” but if you don’t show up to the comic shop one of the days you scheduled, he’s pacing the aisles like a man possessed 😭

- Gave you a beat-up Joker pin once. Didn’t say why.

“I had two,” he muttered.

- He didn’t.

- Makes fun of your taste, then starts reading the stuff you like on the side and doesn’t let you know, if you find out, he denies it 😭😭

“It’s just research. I need to know why it’s bad.”

- So sorry babes, but he will NOT speak up against people being homophobic towards you, his internalized homophobia genuinely makes him struggle 😭😭

- Doesn’t hold your hand, will never hold your hand, but if your pinky brushes his and he doesn’t move it? That’s practically a love confession.

- If you ever told him you loved him, he’d freeze. Not because he doesn’t feel it, because he does, and he doesn’t know what to do with that :((

- His version of affection is arguing with you for three hours and then letting you borrow his Emma Frost figure “just for a day.” 😭😭

- One time, you called him “Bill” instead of the usual, “Dickey,” and he didn’t say anything, just looked down and tried to force down the little smile :3

- He will never say “I miss you,” but he will say stuff like:

“You know, you missed a pretty crucial issue drop last Wednesday. I don’t know how your sad little collection is gonna recover.” 😭

- He gives you comics “to fix your taste,” but they’re always ones he knows you’ll like 😛😛

- He calls you at weird hours, and never says hi, just straight up launches into a rant about something a Marvel editor did wrong in a 1988 wolverine comic 😭

- He’s not calling because he wants to talk about comics, he’s calling because he wants to hear your voice 😼😼

- Has a thing for your hands, won’t say it out loud, but he stares when you flip through comics, when you pull sleeves up, and even more when you fix his collar after it shifts 😛😛 (he ends up slapping your hands away 😭)

- If you ever get hurt, even a scratch, it’s automatically your fault 😭

“Oh my god, what kind of idiot just trips over a curb? What? Were you jerkin’ off while walking? You moron— lemme see.”

- One night, when he thought you were asleep, he whispered something and then touched your hair, you couldn’t make it out, but it ended in “…fucking idiot.”

- He doesn’t get better, but he gets less bad (that sounds so stupid 😭) and in his language of grunts, glares, and lent comics, that means everything🤷

YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAYY

This account will stay active if you guys still wanna access my content!!!

But I’ll working on some headcanons, i'll post them sometime this week 🫩🫩

I love you guys, but I adore my sanity a bittttt more.