#jousai

"Oikawa-kun," you trailed off.

Almost immediately, the hand falls to his side. His fist clenches over the stem of the flowers. “Have I misread the signs? Did I misinterpret the vibes between us?”

In all honesty, you had just gotten broken up with nearly three weeks ago. Oikawa came prancing into your life over a common interest when you bumped into each other in the gym. You enjoyed the company, if you were going to be honest.

The one thing you hadn’t intended on doing was leading the poor guy on. It hadn’t occurred to you that you might have while you were busy keeping your mind off of your ex.

“No, it’s not like that at all!” You quickly came to your own defence. You threw your hands up to shake them to dismiss his doubt. “It’s just that...”

As far as everyone knew, you had just woken up one day and shut yourself out from everybody else. You’d come into the gym and ignore everyone. You would go to class, do your allocated work and go straight home - the entire day without talking to anybody at all.

You just started coming out of your shell after you’d bumped into Oikawa. You’re even getting proper sleep again, and you’re eating as much as a normal college student should be.

He tilts his head in confusion. “What is it?”

You sigh, “I’m getting over a breakup right now. It’s only going to be a month.”

He raises his eyebrow. “Do you want to get back together with him?”

Just three days ago, you were still lying in bed crying over the loss you’ve been mourning over for weeks. But today was different. You’d woken up feeling better than the other days that followed getting dumped. Things just seemed to be a lot brighter than before.

“Of course, I don’t.”

He folds his arms over his chest and rubs his chin. He pouts his lip out as he goes into a deep thought.

Now you start to feel like you should defend yourself. “It’s not that you’re not a great guy, Oikawa-kun! It’s just that I’m not fully over my ex yet and I simply don’t think that you deserve someone who is unsure of their feelings right now.”

You angle your head in a way to catch his gaze. To your surprise, he only continue to look further down to the ground where it would be impossible for you to make eye contact. “I just don’t know exactly what I feel for you right now. I like being with you and spending time with you is always the highlight of my week. I just don’t think you deserve someone who is not sure.”

He hums and nods, seeming to understand what you’d just said. “Do you want me to take a step back?”

You like the attention, if you had to admit. You love the warmth he gave to you every time he was there to keep you company. It’s just that you are not sure of anything right now. 

It’s only just starting to come back together for you.

How were you so sure that this wouldn’t end up with you in a fit of rage and a puddle of tears in a few months?

“I really enjoy being with you. I just don’t want to be the one that keeps you waiting when there are other opportunities out there. People who are ready for you.”

He shakes his head. “If you can’t say to my face confidently that you do not want me, then I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He grins, takes a step forward and then held up the flowers to your face again. “You’re too fucking good for me to let go of.”

You snatch the flowers from his hands and grumble under your breath. “Okay, fine. But we go at my pace, got it?” You raise an eyebrow fiercely. “I have too much going on and having a boyfriend is a lot of commitment that I’m just not all for right now.”

122 days ago

Oikawa pushes the door open, immediately greeted by the warmth that the cafe is providing. The cafe is busy - there’s a queue at the cash register, people scattered all over trying to find seats and chatter coming in from all directions.

It doesn’t take him long to find the face he’s searching for. It’s not that difficult because he’s seen that face every single day since he was a kid. His voice is very distinct as well and he knew where to look the moment he heard his name.

Iwaizumi immediately pulls him in for a hug the moment he arrives at the table. Once he’s seated back in his seat, Oikawa quickly notices you sitting next to his best friend with a small smile. “Remember the girl I was telling you about that’s in the same dorm building as you?” Iwaizumi starts, “this is her.”

“Hi,” she greets him with a small nod from where she sat. “I’m (y/n). Hajime’s talked a lot about you. Like a lot.”

Oikawa chuckles hesitantly, but softly. “I sure hope the impression you have of me is a good one.”

They spent the evening laughing and chatting. It’s crazy that both of you were at so many places at the same time but never came across each other until Iwaizumi had brought it up while he was on the phone one night.

“I’ll see you around,” Oikawa smiles, giving you a polite nod before he turns to Iwaizumi to give him another hug. “It’s nice seeing you again. Before you go, how about we grab dinner again?”

“Count on it,” Iwaizumi cheers, “but you’re paying because I am the one leaving.”

Iwaizumi puts an arm around you as you turn away. You wave at Oikawa one last time and beam at him. “Have a good evening!”

Oikawa freezes, in the middle of the busy sidewalk outside of the cafe he’d just exited merely minutes ago. The dormant butterflies in his stomach came alive again and he’s feeling warmer than he ever has the whole time he’s been inside.

The contrasting cold wind that Tokyo had to offer him didn’t even bother him anymore. He already knows - he’s smitten with you.

116 days ago

Iwaizumi has just left the city. He’d hopped on a train and took off, back to continue his normalcy of going to university just like Oikawa. You were there to send him off as well.

“Are you going home?” Oikawa starts, turning to tilt his head at you. When you nod, he continues walking next you. Which shocks you because he’s supposed to go the other direction. “Let me walk you home. You know Iwa-chan won’t let me hear the end of it.”

“He’s just protective,” you dismiss his concern with a wave and a soft laugh. “And you don’t have to. It’s okay.”

Oikawa could not stop thinking about you during the past couple of days since he first met you. He couldn’t forget the way you smiled at him and how you laughed at every single one of his jokes.

“It’s okay, I’ve got somewhere to go to in your area, anyway.” False. He just wants to potentially get to know you better. Hell, there’s even a chance that Iwaizumi will tell him off but he’s ready to take his chances with it. “So, how’s college? Any clubs you’ve joined?”

“No, I didn’t even try,” you shrug, “I’m working to pay for the apartment I’ve been staying in. I’m totally not on a scholarship. Unlike you. How’d you get so good at volleyball, anyway?”

The walk to your apartment building didn’t feel as long as it should have. The 20-minute walk she took only felt like 10 minutes. You talked about a lot of things, usually just about school and surface-level things. Nothing too serious and it bums him that you won’t open up to him more.

You abruptly stop and tap Oikawa’s shoulder. You gesture to the tall, pasty white building behind you. “This is my apartment building,” you beam at him. “Thanks for walking me home, Oikawa-kun. I’ll see you at school.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, do you wanna grab dinner some time?”

110 days ago

Video calling has been a night time routine for the both of you. For the past 3 days since you had dinner together. It started with a simple question he needed help with for his class and suddenly you’re always calling each other at night.

“Hear me out, right?” You start, holding up your hands to the camera to keep him quiet, “why is it any different if you see me in my underwear? It’s exactly the same as seeing me in a bikini.”

“I can’t say I’ve never thought of that,” Oikawa admits, tilting his head as he stares off at his wall.

This argument sparked up when you mentioned that you wanted to change your shirt. The drastic difference in temperature from the outside and your apartment is enough to make you change out of your two layers. You simply took off your shirt without moving away from the camera or at least covering or turning it off.

“But it’s different! Underwear with all that lacy shit it has going on,” Oikawa sighs. Suddenly, the image of you mere seconds ago in your underwear flashes and it makes his cheeks turn red. Redder than you’ve ever seen them. “Underwear is just different.”

He looks back at the screen of his laptop, flinching slightly when your face has covered up the entirety of his device. You scrunch up your nose and narrow your eyes down to a squint. “Why are you all red?”

“Am I?” He has every reason to be red. He’s known you almost a week and a half and he’s already seen you in your underwear. Usually it takes him at least a month.

You giggle, pulling away with a playful grin. “I’ve got to go make dinner than tuck myself in,” you explain softly. “Your assignment’s all good, right? Just call me if you have another question.”

Oikawa nods. The words he had to say were all stuck in his throat - bunching up into a lump. All he manages to say to you is: “I’ll call you.”

102 days ago

“It’s a school night,” you mutter, shoving Oikawa back with an eye roll. “And it’s freezing out here - I don’t know how you got me out of my apartment.”

“It’s just my charm,” Oikawa laughs, shoving his hands into his pockets. He stopped at the entrance of your apartment building and towers over you.

He couldn’t fall asleep at all - his thoughts about his first competition in college consumed him all night. He texted you and you were up. So he picked you up and walked around with you.

You snarl at him and turn to glance at your building for a moment.

The air between the two of you suddenly got thicker. Maybe it’s the calmness of 3AM that’s making him feel like this. The brief idea that you might be feeling him too is lingering, but he can’t bear the rejection if he’s wrong.

“Thanks for paying for my hot chocolate,” you say in a sigh, “I forgot to grab my wallet on the way out of the door.”

“It’s no problem. I asked you to come out, anyway,” he says in a low voice, taking a step towards you. He’s very cautious about this. It can end in two ways and he’s not particularly fond of the ending where Iwaizumi beats his ass. “So, lunch tomorrow, right?”

You can’t utter a response. You’re looking up at him and just realised how brown his eyes are. Even in the dark of the night, they just shined so bright. 

Suddenly his body is on auto-pilot. You’ve grabbed his shirt and yanked him down into you, pressing your lips against his. He doesn’t even have time to think about it - he just tries to pull you closer into his body.

When you abruptly pull away, he feels his heart drop. You lick your lips and nod, “yeah, lunch at 12:30. See you tomorrow.”

96 days ago

Oikawa lies back in his bed, staring at his ceiling. He’s conflicted. You haven’t brought up the fact that you kissed him a few days ago. If he knew any better, he would have thought that you think it was just a mistake.

He might just be reading too much into the situation. Perhaps you just got too caught up in the moment and that’s why you did what you did.

You haven’t called each other at night since then. He’s overthinking circumstances. Did he lose you? Is Iwaizumi already in a train on the way to Tokyo to beat him to a pulp?

His phone buzzes, making him scramble up from his position and snatch his phone from the floor next to him. His lips stretch at the notification with your name and quickly opens it.

‘i just got home from work,, i’ll text you later okay’

He texts you back with a simple ‘okay’ and goes back to staring at his ceiling. He doesn’t know how long he waited for you, but eventually he fell asleep at some point in the night.

You never texted him later that night.

93 days ago

“I’m tired,” you huff, patting his chest then rolling to lie on your back. You sit up and grab your phone from his bedside table and start to scroll through your phone.

Oikawa nods and sits up as well, checking his phone for a brief moment before returning all his attention on you. “Do you want anything to eat? I have leftovers from what I ordered in for lunch.”

“Just a cup of water for me, please,” you mutter, flashing him a wide smile. You don’t even look up from your phone - you just continue to text your friends with a small smile. He can’t help but wonder if you’re talking about him. “Thank you.”

He nods and picks a stray shirt from his floor. He can’t believe you’re on his bed right now, in your underwear. It all happened a week ago when you admitted to him that you like him. 

Well, not exactly that. Your exact words would be: “I don’t know if I like you, but I feel something for you. You’re a great guy.”

He’ll take it as it is.

The catch is that you don’t think you’re ready for anything serious right now. With school and the fact that you’re working almost every day and night, you told him that you just didn’t think that committing is something you can do right now. Especially not with the baggage of your messy breakup that just happened not too long ago.

He has to respect that. He’s got his fair share of trauma for his last relationship in high school as well.