#journalseven

December 13th, 2016

Stardate: 94554.58

Okay, you’re fine. You do this every month like clockwork. (Almost.)

Yes, you may want curl in a ball with a hot bag of rice in your vagina while you slowly die while watching Star Trek. (Mmmm.. Commander Riker. Amirite? Not helping my hormones, btw. They should put a fucking warning on that shit. “Pussies known to convulse then eventually explode when exposed to Riker smiles.”So accurate.)

You don’t remember what you were saying.... 

.....OH YES!

You’ll be fine. You may want to eat chocolate chip pancakes covered in chocolate layered with brownie ice cream and Reese’s. While simultaneously scarfing on a Five Guys burger with cheese fries (let’s be honest) that you probably killed some patriarchal dick bag for. No shame. He fucking deserved it. Now drink his warm blood and eat his burger in victory! 

You know what just dip those fries in his blood like sweet, sweet thousand island dressing. 

IT WILL BE WORTH IT.

And yes, you know and we allllll know that you want to fuck and be fucked with the fiery thunder of the Fuck Gods. You want to cum so hard you forget how hungry you are. (Spoiler alert: not gonna happen, but nice try though. Fuuuuccccck.) Basically your body is ready to burst and what you feel like doing is ripping your skin off, transforming into the werewolf you know you are, but for some fucking reason hasn’t unleashed itself yet (you’re 27, the muthafuckin’ clock is ticking, bitch), and stalk some man in the night before you ravage him and drag his body into the night while shrieking and howling. 

Eventually you will dance naked under the moon, covered in sex and still warm blood, worshiping the spirits that give you life and the strength to survive from moon to moon, ensuring that you won’t snap and masturbate with blood before going insane.... 

.......Yeah, you’re gonna be fine.  

Source - The New York Times

Date - Oct. 23, 2012

Lede - "It is afternoon in a hardwood forest on the edge of the Cumberland Plateau, and the cicadas are singing." 

This lede comes from a story titled "Finding Zen in a Patch of Nature." The article is about a both poetic and science-driven scientist and author. David Haskell, biologist, explores one specific opening of a forest in Tennessee and documents everything he observes in a new, and unique, less data-driven way. I like this lede because it's simple and to the point. It's very descriptive and metaphorical.

Graph - There are a few lines from this article that I just loved. It's really well written, by James Gorman. I also loved this story because it takes place in Tennessee!

"But to him, the noise is biological alchemy, sunlight into sound."

"He thinks like a biologist, writes like a poet, and gives the natural world the kind of open-minded attention one expects from a Zen monk rather than a hypothesis-driven scientist."

Source - AP Exchange 

Date - Oct. 25, 2012

Catch - "On Thursday, Obama was so not much starting his day as continuing his last one." 

It should say "not so much."

Also, in the same article a quote reads, "I think we've begun to come out of the dive and we're gaining attitude." Maybe it's just me but it seems like attitude should be altitude.

Source - AP Exchange

Date - Oct. 25, 2012

Word - skullduggery: underhand dealing, trickery