#journalingaesthetic

It’s currently 1pm, I meant to start journaling earlier but I really didn't have much to talk about. I still really don't have much to talk about. I have been really interested in spirituality lately. I haven't really made steps towards a spiritual awakening because of the fear that I’ll lose anyone and everyone who isn't on the same path as me, but if they aren’t on the same path as me shouldn't I not even want them in my life? eh. Anyways I got crystals about 3 weeks ago, but I have yet to meditate with them. Because of procrastination also because I don't know what exactly it is that I am doing. I guess thats something that you just figure out as you go. Self healing is something that I want to get out of it, I want to be able to heal all the trauma and unhealthy habits in my life and I think spirituality is the root I am willing to go with. 

I really want to start a manifestation journal and a gratitude journal. Those I think I would keep personal on pen and paper instead of online like I am doing with this journaling page. The only reason I started this journaling page was because I had started writing in a regular journal but my hand started cramping after just writing 1 page, embarrassing I know haha. But this is better, typing is faster it keeps up with what my brain is thinking. Did you know that you aren't your thoughts or emotions? you are actually awareness. Awareness because you are aware of your thoughts and aware of your emotions but once they go away you don't die. Get it? weird right? sometimes I think this world isn't really real. Just a place where our spirit was sent to experience what it is to be human. Humanity sucks so the fact that my spirit choose this life and choose to be here is pretty disappointing but I guess I have lessons to learn along the way that is key to unlocking my higher self? I don't know how any of it works I just agree with it because its the only thing that logically makes sense to me.

I can't bring myself to believe a hell exists. Like you mean to tell me there is a hell that makes “bad people” pay for what they did as humans? and how is being a gay the same sin as someone who kills another being? I don't know its all flawed to be honest. Also I do believe there is higher power like a God but based on some religions its questionable. Like God was the one who created this earth so did he create the universe as well? and if he did, did he also create aliens? hm.

See these are just some of the things I question every day at least once but if I were to really pay attention to anything I'm saying I would go insane trying to figure out this life and its purpose for all of it. Like capitalism. 

Life is weird and pointless so why are we here? why are we doing this?

Have you ever thought about it while driving that you are on the road with thousands of strangers who have their own lives, own problems and we know nothing about them at all. We don't know anything about what they are going through only that they are driving said car in the same direction you are, that it.

Life.weird.

Di tengah riuhnya notifikasi smartphone, target pekerjaan yang menumpuk, dan tuntutan sosial yang tidak ada habisnya, kepala kita seringkali terasa penuh. Pikiran melompat-lompat dari kecemasan masa lalu hingga kekhawatiran tentang esok hari. Pernahkah Anda merasa sangat lelah secara mental, padahal seharian hanya duduk di depan layar?

Jika jawabannya ya, itu adalah tanda bahwa pikiran Anda membutuhkan ruang untuk bernapas. Salah satu cara paling efektif, murah, dan estetik untuk meredakan kekacauan mental tersebut adalah melalui mindful journaling.

Bukan sekadar menulis buku harian masa kecil yang berisi daftar kejadian harian, mindful journaling adalah praktik menuangkan isi kepala dengan kesadaran penuh untuk mengenali emosi tanpa menghakimi diri sendiri.

Apa Bedanya Journaling Biasa dengan Mindful Journaling?

Secara sederhana, jurnal biasa berfokus pada apa yang terjadi (faktor eksternal), sedangkan mindful journaling berfokus pada bagaimana perasaan dan respons Anda terhadap hal tersebut (faktor internal).

Saat melakukan mindful journaling, Anda tidak perlu memikirkan tata bahasa yang sempurna atau tulisan yang indah. Buku jurnal Anda adalah ruang aman yang bebas dari standar penilaian orang lain. Ini adalah bentuk dialog jujur dengan diri sendiri.

Manfaat Mindful Journaling untuk Kesehatan Mental

Meredakan Overthinking: Menuliskan kekhawatiran di atas kertas secara fisik membantu memindahkan beban berat dari kepala ke luar tubuh, membuat masalah terlihat lebih rasional dan terstruktur.

Meningkatkan Kesadaran Diri (Self-Awareness): Anda mulai mengenali pola pikir tertentu, seperti kebiasaan menyalahkan diri sendiri atau pemicu stres yang sering diabaikan.

Melatih Rasa Syukur (Gratitude): Praktik ini membantu otak mengalihkan fokus dari apa yang kurang dalam hidup kita ke hal-hal kecil yang patut disyukuri hari ini.

4 Langkah Mudah Memulai Mindful Journaling

Bagi pemula, lembaran kertas kosong seringkali terasa mengintimidasi (blank page syndrome). Agar tidak bingung, Anda bisa mulai dengan langkah-langkah berikut:

Siapkan Buku dan Alat Tulis Favorit: Pilih buku catatan yang nyaman dipegang dan pena yang enak digunakan. Estetika alat tulis seringkali menjadi pemicu kecil yang membuat kita lebih bersemangat menulis.

Ciptakan Ritual Kecil: Ambil waktu 10-15 menit di pagi hari sebelum membuka ponsel, atau di malam hari sebelum tidur. Seduh teh hangat atau nyalakan lilin aromaterapi untuk menciptakan suasana yang menenangkan.

Gunakan Prompt (Pertanyaan Pancingan) Sederhana: Jika bingung harus menulis apa, mulailah dengan menjawab pertanyaan pemantik berikut:

Apa emosi yang paling dominan aku rasakan hari ini, dan di bagian tubuh mana aku merasakannya?

Tiga hal kecil apa yang membuatku tersenyum hari ini?

Apa satu hal yang bisa aku lepaskan atau dimaafkan dari hari ini?

Tulis Tanpa Sensor: Biarkan pena mengalir begitu saja. Jangan dihapus jika ada kalimat yang dirasa kurang bagus. Biarkan semua unek-unek tumpah ke atas kertas.

Catatan untuk Diri Sendiri

Mindful journaling bukanlah tugas rumah yang harus diselesaikan setiap hari tanpa boleh bolong. Jika hari ini Anda melewatkannya, tidak apa-apa. Jadikan aktivitas ini sebagai bentuk me time yang menyenangkan, bukan kewajiban baru yang justru menambah beban pikiran.

Today I had an awakening that I am in complete control. I am capable of anything I put my mind to. But I have to be disciplined. I have to work every single day at being the best version of myself in order to become the best version of myself. That means forcing myself to do things I don't want to do, working out, eating good, staying away from social media, and meditating more. I want to vibrate at a high frequency and that takes work! Its not going to be handed to me. So its time to get to fucking work. No more excuses, no more self doubt, no more self loathing just pure self love, and healing. I need to protect myself from others who want nothing but to take that from me.

I will not allow anyone to get in my way of this personal journey, not family and not my boyfriend. My journey starts now.