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Yes you can actually see a peacock in Guanacaste. There’s one living at an animal rescue where we adopted our puppy. #villarealguanacaste #tamarindocostarica #costarica🇨🇷 Have you seen it? #journalcr (at Guanacaste Tamarindo) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSmH0tFrJSA/?utm_medium=tumblr
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ChiChi is lively today! Finally. Which pic is your fav? #journalcr #puppylove #guanacastecostarica #puppyrescue #puppystar (at Brasilito, Guanacaste, Costa Rica) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRuLrJrDwOz/?utm_medium=tumblr
We are so very happy and excited to see Chichi so happy and healthy after over a month of being sick and malnourished. We rescued her from a very bad situation and she’s fought hard to survive and thrive through it all. We will be sharing her perilous journey soon. #journalcr #animalrescue #puppyrescue #puppylove @francislyncruz (at Brasilito, Guanacaste, Costa Rica) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRtu-9cDXDM/?utm_medium=tumblr
I try really hard to be healthy but what really sucks is when the anxiety is so bad I can’t eat. I need to calm down and relax.
I’m definitely feeling a lot better and I don’t know but sometimes I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I have anxiety. It’s not like I googled it (in the beginning I did and I was in denial for a long time) but I’ve been told by a professional that I have anxiety. There is something actually wrong with me and how I deal with things. Even in the middle of a panic attack it all seems surreal. Like this isn’t actually happening. Its all in my head and that’s partially true but I don’t have control of it. It’s not something I’m choosing to do. I was embarrassed by it for a long time and then I got angry and that made me an awful person. Like why couldn’t I be normal? Why did I have to develop anxiety all of sudden? My friends are fine, they’re okay so why me? And I know there are a billion other people who have worse situations in the world and that makes me feel like shit. I can’t deal with anxiety but others are fighting cancer or depression or abuse. Being angry turned me into someone I didn’t want to be. Learning to accept it has actually taken years to do. I know there are going to be days that suck cause picking myself up again is rough…but I’ll at least pick myself up again and make the best of it. Letting the anxiety take over is giving into a downward spiral of bad habits and I’m not letting that happen. You know what I've honestly learned..is that it all passes. It seems like it never will. It seems like you'll be stuck there forever but it all passes and it always gets better.
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I’ve dreamed of London for the past 5 years and maybe it’s time to dream of Paris…
Okay I have spent the last couple days feeling like shit and literally in one of the worse places mentally I’ve been in a long time. But that’s over. I’m done with feeling like this and I’m ready to work on being a better person and friend. I ready to start feeling alive again. I miss that feeling but I’m going to work on getting it back.
You were drunk and you were a wreck and it broke my heart. I know you told me things you probably shouldn't have. Things you don't remember saying. I didn’t know what to do to calm you down. I tried but you would just get mad. I promise I just wanted to calm you down in the most innocent way.
That night you told me how your parents met, you've told me before but this time you said how you wanted to win someone's heart the way your dad won your mom's. All I could think of was you won me over but you didn't want me. I wish you had wanted me. I think part of my heart will always belong to you in some way but I can’t think about that too much. I’m finally over you. It’s been over 2 years and I can finally look at you and not feel my heart race. I just want to focus on fixing our friendship because I know I messed it up and I miss how we used to be. You’re one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life. I don’t want to lose you because sometimes it feels like I have and that scares the hell out of me.
