#journal 8

Who: Higgs When: Writing year unknown Where: Unknown

The rumours I'd heard about my new partner's powers don't do her justice. I knew she had DOOMS, but she's on a whole other level. I tell you, I've never seen anything like it. Not only can she perceive BTs, but she can actually use the Beach!

Compared to hers, my powers are nothing. Parlour tricks courtesy of a few corpses. But it doesn't matter. Not so long as I've got her. Before we met, I was bound by the limitations of my abilities. I was a blind man groping for shadows of a secret realm. But now, because of her, I can actually go to the Beach! The Beach!

With her by my side, I can reshape this world. Not into what it was, with the old USA— not like what Bridges wants. Something new, something everlasting, right here and now. A world where we are free to do whatever we goddamn please...

Goals for this week: Figure out how to connect the three sections and fix any small details.

Accomplishments: After testing out the road idea, I’ve decided that it’s not a good fit with my design. When looking at my design, I felt like the area where Rome and China met actually looked just fine as it was. I added some more mountains in the background but other than that I left it untouched. The mountains in the China section background worked as a natural border between the two sections. I tried mimicking that result with the Japan Rome border. Last week, I experimented with extending the waves of the Japan section into the Rome area. I was quite satisfied with the result so I’ve decided that that’s how I want to separate my sections. There was some empty space between Mt. Fuji and the top of the canvas. Rather than filling in the space with more art, I decided to just colour it in with an off white colour. I also ended up colouring in the drawing of the wolf with Romulus and Remus. Originally, I left it white because I felt like the Rome section already looked quite busy. However, I showed the design to my friends and they said it stood out too much as it was the only uncoloured piece on my design. The reference image I used for the wolf was of a mosaic however I chose to colour it in with flat colours. Because the background is a mosaic, I felt that colouring it with flat colours would make the image stand out more. In addition, in the China section I had a dragon that I left unshaded as the reference image I used had a flat art style. When showing the design to my friend Mia, she pointed out that the dragon stood out too much because of its different art style. Therefore I decided to shade in the dragon too. The rest of my week was just spent cleaning up tiny details like unconnected lines or maybe a spot that I forgot to colour. Ms. Clayton didn’t have any additional requests so I didn’t have to adjust anything about my design.

Challenges I faced: The border between Rome and Japan didn’t look as naturally cohesive as the one between China and Rome. I considered drawing something on the border but decided that adding extra elements this late in the game would be a poor idea. I duplicated my canvas just to be safe and did some experimenting on the original. In the end, I decided that extending the waves into the Rome section looked the best.

What I learned: I learned that when doing large designs, it’s a good idea to step away from the canvas and take a break. After staring at the same design for weeks, I ended up missing some of the small details. Asking other people for feedback helped me notice the tiny things that I would’ve missed otherwise. For example, I didn’t notice how out of place the uncoloured wolf looked until my friends pointed it out. I do have a design team but the benefits of asking outside people for feedback is that they’re looking at my design with fresh eyes.

The Empress

Upright: abundance, creativity, nurturing, maternity

Reversed: Co-dependence, stagnation, domestic troubles

The Empress is a mother figure. From her springs forth life and she nurtures whatever it is she has created. She is the refuge of her children, the mother’s touch that soothes all hurt.

But while she takes our pain away, who takes away hers?

In this patriarchal society, mothers are under-appreciated. Some work full-time jobs and still have to go home to housework that they need to finish- while their husbands can already rest the minute they get home. Some only work part-time, either on their own accord or their husbands told them they need to, so that they have more time to spend with household matters. Some don’t even work at all, even when they want to, because their husbands won’t allow them.

What gives? Why do we treat mothers- and women in general- like this?

I’m no stranger to such oppressive systems. In fact, I was born out of it. My grandfather passed on the business to his male siblings instead of his wife, because the only role he saw fit for the women in the family was just domestic duties- keeping the warehouse clean, cooking and feeding the workers, etc. Imagine being treated like a second-class citizen among your own family members.

I see the same kind of attitude with my own father too, unfortunately. He throws fits when my mom needs to go to work but he needs her to stay at home and run errands for him- none of her business, mind you, but he insists. She’s his wife, after all. She’s supposed to support him

Whatever. Well, I can’t just say ‘whatever’ either, because my mom doesn’t even bother fighting back. Oh, no, she just lets him have his leeway. Even makes up excuses for him, to justify why he might be so mean.

I think it’s called being an asshole, but my mom says he’s just tired. Stressed. He needs patience.

Where’s that patience from him for us, though?

I’m tired of all this crap. I’m tired of being stuck with a bunch of nitwits who still abide by these outdated, misogynistic ways. I’m tired of seeing this Empress Reversed.

Lela had been packed for days. All of her possessions fit into her travel backpack and seal skin bag. Not being one for long goodbyes; even feeling a little guilty about the immense trouble she had gotten into, she decided it would be best to slip away before sunrise. The pale blue genasi gathered her belongings and turned to her end table.There was that mysterious horn. "How did I hold onto it?" Transfixed by its silver and ivory appearance she took it in both hands and combed over it's strange unfamiliar markings; etchings in the ivory like a long forgotten maze, strange symbols carved into the silver- less intricate, almost like letters. Compelled. Curious. Almost as if hypnotized she raised the horn to her lips and blew.

Nothing happened. Her breathe passed soundlessly through it.

"I don't know what I expected" she chuckled and absently hung the beautiful trinket from her belt. scribbled a hasty note and left it under her unlit oil lamp.

The sun was forcing its morning beams over the horizons, spilling through the siolhoutees of buildings that lay beyond the dock. With a smile and a sigh, she heaved her sealskin bag over her shoulder and headed down the ships plank to the waiting dock.

She never turned back, but this exit wasnt a sad one. She smiled as if she was a child attending her first name day.

Hours later, Bastion would enter that unsurprisingly empty cabin room to read

"You bet your ass I'll be back."

Sebastian smiled because he knew she meant it; and at the hasty addition at the bottom of the page.

So this is what I have so far as of Monday morning 10/10/16.

So for some reason I have been in a really good mood the last couple of days. So I’m just going to talk about the stuff that I like about myself. This is just basically me complimenting myself a lot, beware. 

Also this may be short.