#joshee

I’m a night owl so being up and out of the house before 8am is against my nature. I had on my favorite gray cardigan, gray Express shirt, and burgundy necktie. I got to the building around 8:50 because Buckhead is confusing! I had only been on this part of Piedmont Rd. once or twice and it was either brief or at night.

So I get up to the receptionist’s desk and I see about 20 applicants in the waiting area. We sign in and are taken into a room that was like an old computer classroom with two vending machines. The guy who posted the ad came in the room and immediately I wished that I would have sat in the back. I’m looking at my phone when he says “be prepared to stay until 2/3:00." What? I didnt eat breakfast because I figured it would be an hour tops. I had planned on going back home to eat right after. Well, three hours in, we’re on "lunch”. But…this is an interview. Hmm. Yellow flag but I can live with it. I get a bag of pretzels and a water from the vending machine because I have a rule about only buying things that really can sit for a while. I would have hated to get a hard honey bun or cupcake.

So now it’s like 1:45 and we are waiting to do the interview portion. Dude came in the room and says he has to leave but his assistant will do the rest of the interviews. I’m like ok. I saw her. She doesnt speak much. At this point its like 8 of us left waiting. And waiting. It’s 2:30 and now its my turn to sell my self. I’m knocking these questions OUT. I have had practice and plenty of time to prepare my answers because it seems like everyone uses the same questions smh. They offer me the position (Surprise? No. *toot* lol) and I leave. That was easy but it’s like 3:15/3:20 and I just missed the bus so I’m like great. Then more rain. Great! Finally catch a bus before I’m fully saturated with sky-water and get home.

So I got home and ate some leftover broccoli and chicken macaroni and cheese. My roommate, Jerry, throws down in the kitchen. Fortunate for me, he owns his own catering company so there’s always leftovers from something. I checked my email and saw that this job does their drug screen differently. They gave me an appointment window until the end of the week. I know I might have reason to be nervous since smoking with Tig just the day before!!! I decided to wait until the last possible moment. I needed to settle into a position; at least until something better popped up, I thought.

I woke up the next day (Tuesday) to see that my orientation was just three days later and it was a full day. I knew it would be risky but I had to do the drug screen by Thursday afternoon.

Friday finally came and I got to orientation and in my seat with about 15 minutes to spare. See? I’m doing better (LOL). Sitting in a hard chair for almost nine hours was pure torture but I realize (in hindsight) that they were trying to weed people out. People left but most stayed because its hard out here for all of these pimps. I noticed immediately that this was another one of those “do what I say, not as I do” places. For a customer service-driven company, they made it clear they valued their customers and vendors above all of us. Several times.

As if orientation wasnt bad enough, now we were scheduled for a 10-day training class. There were some characters in that class. Very interesting. Peculiar even.

There was this lady named India who was the biggest “hag” I had ever encountered. Her one-liners took me out every time! “Shut up and get ready for this read” she said to one of the guys before a group activity where she overheard her coworkers talking about her.

The entire class was a mixture of young single moms, older retirees, and a blend of people around my age (late 20s-early 30s) and it was a cluster of crazy. It was entertaining and kept me awake but it made the class run late! We couldn’t use our cell phones during class so afterwards, I noticed a voicemail from an unknown number. I listen and apparently, I tested positive on my drug screen. Surprise? Not at all. I was on my way home so I figured they would call me and I’d just deal with it then.

The next day, a Tuesday, I left early because I hadnt heard anything from them and I wasnt about to miss out on money. The bus came super late and then..rain. Now it had been gloomy during that time so I wasnt shocked but then my spiral down started.

We got to a bus stop and there was a man who wore an army fatigue sweatsuit. The driver refused to let him on and then the man tried to open the doors manually. Yoooooo. So he finally lets the man on and he pays his fare. He finds a seat next to a young Mexican mother with her child. He was clearly upset and he was not afraid to make his frustrations clear and audible. “You keep treatin’ people like this and you’ll see what happens.” The driver ignored him and then the guy says, “Somebody should kill you!” amongst other threats. smh! Why? The driver got nervous and pulled over when he sees a police car parked with an officer inside. Once the driver got off the bus, the man left. He seemed smart enough to know not to get arrested for terroristic threats.

By now, passengers are yelling at the driver. We all have places to be and he wants to be a punk. It was over 20 people on there, did he really think we would let that man stop him from getting us to our destination? Ugh.

The officer steps on the bus all damn late and I immediately recognize his face. Officer FYR. Why was he on this side of town? I just kept my head down as he left. Whew! At least I didnt have to deal with that bs.

We finally got to the train station and of course I’m on the verge of being uber late. I call, although I should have called when the bus was late but thats spilled milk. So I finally get to the training room and they’re still passing around the sign-in sheet so I’m safe!

We were about halfway through class when I realized that about 75% of my class was high as a giraffe’s forehead! I guess thats why I didnt get called out for a positive screen! We were given an hour break. India came back talking about clutching her pearls and “reading for filth”. I was weak from laughing at her!

I was on my way to work earlier and had a flashback of another story. Its probably more crazy than the last one so get ready. I tried to condense it and it’s still long (LOL) but it flows, I promise.

So I decided not to accept that job because they were so unorganized. Brown Lips changed my assignment without my supervisor knowing so I got called to work at three different locations before I said “fuggit” and started applying and applying and applying to jobs. No luck.

That weekend my friend Tig called me about some casting call for a movie. “Boy, throw on some black clothes and come on to this thing”. I had been in the house most of the time I’ve been out of work so I agreed.

Tig is cool. I met him about four years ago when we worked at this retail store. It was both of our part time job on the side. Back then, I didn’t have a roommate so holding down an apartment in an area where you can actually walk alone at night, in Atlanta was not (and still is not) cheap. So yeah, back then, he was always singing in the store. I wasnt even thinking about music then. It wasnt until a year or two ago that we started going to the studio and really doin this thing. Buuuuuut that’s another story lol.

So we get to the casting call and I’m seeing the crowds of people there. It feels like what American Idol looks like on tv. It was easily the most people I’ve ever been surrounded by. I had my moment in the spotlight (LOL) and then we left. It was cool and then the damn rain. Tig had this little damn teacup yorkie umbrella that kept flying away (LOL). He was so proud of that umbrella. It was a gift from his new job. I laughed, watching him chase it all the way down the parking deck aisle.

Out of nowhere, sirens. What? A cop car pulls up. Window rolls down…

It’s a female cop who I didn’t know from a can of paint but I know she could be thee most gorgeous of all of her friends and family. She knew it and she made sure everyone else knew too. I just needed her to speak so I could put it all together and give her my own name.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my playpen?” as she whipped off her sunglasses and walked toward me. “We-” “We? I asked you.” “Ma'am,” Tig tried to help me out. He’s from the South and I’m from New York. I was already going through my own drama. Who did she think she was? Officer C U Next Tuesday. She was all of 5’ 4" maybe 5’ 5" and mean. I really wanted to compliment her but she was wearing me thin and fast. “We were just at the casting call in the auditorium and now we’re leaving. My car is right here.” He signaled the car to unlock. “Yeah, ok” and gets in her car. No apologies or anything.

We get in the car, and Tig starts rollin up. I’m sitting there still trying to recover from that weird ass officer. Are all the cops in Atlanta like this now? This was less than two weeks after Officer FYR and his unlawful arresting ass. I heard, from the clerk, that he got suspended with pay for a ten days. Great, I spend unnecessary time in a holding cell but he gets a paid vacation? Bet.

Now I usually have a great appetite but right now I’m craving some tacos so we went to Taco Cabana on Piedmont Rd. I got a margarita pitcher, five chicken tacos, and some black beans over rice. Mmhmm. I knew I would hate myself later but that was some good eating. Sitting there, I told Tig about some song ideas I had. We planned to record later that week.

Booking wasn't bad (considering) because the clerk or whoever she was, was cool! She complimented my shirt, stains and all. She said she'd let me make my call in a few so I'm like cool.

I'm in this holding cell with this dude who repeats everything he hears and another dude who looks like he hasnt slept in 84 years! Anyway, I get to make my call. I hesitate but I know my best bet is to call Mike because I had just seen him. He can vouch that I did nothing wrong. "I got you bro. Drea gets off at 11, we'll be there." Just as he says that, Tia, the clerk, was on her phone and she was SHOCKED. Being the respectful guy that I am, I eavesdropped a little. "...so now we have to let him go". Hoping, and partially knowing, that I was the "he" in the case, I hang up with Mike and sit back in the chair across from Tia. "Sir, I apologize for the mixup. You just matched the profile of a wanted dealer in that area." I sit back in the chair and just laugh. I mean it was one of those "Is he going to kill someone?" maniac laughs. I was so mad and relieved at the same time. I called Mike back to let him know that I'd be going back home instead. I didn't want to be on that side of town, at least not that soon.

I got home, showered, and was watching Sunday's episode of Quantico when my phone rang. It was Ryan. "I'll be there in two weeks. Lex and Drea said they might come too." Cool! I know Lex can keep a good eye on Ryan whenever I wouldn't be there, I thought. I told him about my day, we laughed, and then we hung up. It was only 10:45 at this point but I was exhausted!!! I wasnt sure if Brown Lips would be substitute trainer again so I knew sleep was needed.

So we're like two blunts in and Drea says "I have work in an hour." Fuck! You got me high in the hood and now I gotta function enough to make it home? I'm like cool. We had just started watching Taken 3 and my high ass was deep into it. There was a knock on the door, Drea takes the blunt from Inez and puts it out. Apparently one of her neighbors got robbed by her baby's father. I was ready to leave at this point. Im not up for police being around and its about to get dark soon too. Nah, I'm taking NO chances. So as I walk out, APD pulls up. Fawk! Ok, I didnt do anything. Im just high and trying to remain calm and act normal...which backfires when Ms Able yells "that's him, officer", referring to me. Without question and before I could say anything, I'm facedown in the dirt and I feel hands in my pockets. I'm thinking "Never again". Never again am I coming to this side of town. I mean there were some nice condos by the Walmart but Drea lives in a concentrated ghetto. Its like a cul de sac of buildings that were so close they should have just built one big building. So the neighbor runs out and confirms that I'm not the suspect. Drea calls me back inside to clean up. I had on a button up that I just bought for my first day. It was on the mannequin, on sale, and the cashier gave me a discount. Now Im looking at my reflection in the mirror like "the fuck?". Drea knocks again "Chewy, I'm leaving. You can stay a while. Mike should be here soon to lock up when ure ready to go." I'm looking at the door with the ugliest look lol. I been ready to go, hell, I would have made it if it wasnt for Grandma Moses smh.

I clean up, find some mango lemonade in the refrigerator, and continue watching Taken 3. At this point, Inez and Horace left. When I was in the bathroom, I heard Horace scream five times that "Black Gay Lives Matter" as he ran through the apartment. I'm glad they left, especially Horace. I was just trying to unwind and get Brown Lips' schpiel out of my head.

I find a nice sized clip and light it when I hear a commotion outside. Not. a-damn-gain. I peek through the curtains and see Mike, Drea's brother, getting the same treatment I got earlier from APD. Smh is this what's normal over here? I shouldve known something was up when I saw somebody's hospital discharge folder randomly laying in a bush on my way here. I think about going out to lend my support but then, I think, its dark and anything is possible. Oh shit! Did this dude just ride a car down the elevator shaft?? Im drawn back into the movie when Mike comes inside. "Fuckin pigs, yo! I told Drea we need to move!" I chuckled yo myself, ashed the clip, and headed for the door. "Alright, Mike, come lock this door behind me.", I said, stepping out into the 50-something degree weather. Hotlanta's not so hot right now. I was almost out of the parking lot when I heard Ms Able yelling something from her window. I kept walking because the last time I tried, I had a face full of dirt and a loud, heavy-handed officer on me.