So since i’ts been a few months, 

PREVIOUSLY ON STAR VS

Tom spent the season slowly becoming a better person, going from not knowing how to be nice,  to trying to have his soul taken, to being an instesntive dick about Star’s politics and the plight of monsters, slowly growing into a charming, repentent young man and a true hero. 

So the show naturally decided NOW, rather than when Star was single not 8 episodes ago, was the time to have Star and Marco finally resolve their romantic tension with a kiss, then both deeply regret it because Star’s with tom and Marco wants to be with tom is his best friend. Oh and just to make it so not even the shippers who want tom to die in a walrus stampeded so Starco can happen could be happy with this, said kiss was coerceed by a little goblin man who locked them in a booth so he could force two teenagers into a situation where they’d make out. 

To the show’s credit, what I can give, both were shellshocked and didn’t have a chance to break it to Tom before shit hit the fan. 

Yes twice in a row as after an episode with Pony and a Korean Soap Opera, Moon and Eclipsa went hunting for Meteora, who had gained a new soul sucking power. 

Yeah they never explained this and never will but it makes her big and strong so fair enough. Eclispa tried talking her down but Moon’s own inherent racisim an dimpatience caused a fight and nearly ended in Meteora’s death with Eclipsa stopping moon.. and accidently wounding her in the process. Moon ended up portaling away , Meteora left and here we are: Moon’s gone, Meteroa’s only getting stronger, and Eclipsa is left devistated and alone. So SURELY Star will make it bettter for her after Eclipsa tells he everything right?

Nope instead it’s the dungeon for her. Mind you I get it, as this episode will lean into she’s in very bad place emotionally and given Star dosen’t think clearly on a GOOD day and this is a “lost her mother, had the crown dumped on her, and has a kaiju coming to rip everyone she loves asunder”, this is less of a bad day and more of a 

day... so I can forgive her for not being 100% on her best all the time when her world’s crashing down around her, not helped by EVERYONE leaning on her to make decisions as Queen, with star emphasising “acting queen” as if that makes her any less responsible. 

It’s both a parallel to the same pressures that turned Moon into what she is, and the cumilation of three seasons of build up. Star’s terror at her seemingly inevitible future has been part of her character since day one, her rebliious nature in at least some part coming from the fact Moon put way too much pressure on her teenage daughter. Now granted as we’ve seen with Tom putting NO pressure on your child who’s destine to inheit a country isn’t good either: by not pushing Tom to prepare at all for what he’ll be, he ended up a sheltered entitlted mess who had trouble interacting with people on more than a surface level. But Moon went too far in the other direction: constnatly badgering her daughter about proper etiquuite nad bullshit that HONESTLY dosen’t matter to how good a ruler star is and later sending her daughter into a mental breakdown with describing how restraining being queen is. To moon it’s just who she is but to star it’s a cage... a cage that nearly made her do a violence on a mermaid.  Now with that incident it’s also Tom’s fault as part of his gaslighting, but the diffrence is, and it’s very hard to spot TOM IS A TEENAGER WITH SEVERE EMOTIONAL ISSUES.  Tom was simply trying to nudge Star into marrying him and geninely apologized. Moon.. never seemed to realize she did ANYTHING wrong. 

Star slowly accepted it on some level though, seeing she could try and change systematic racisim on mewni in a way her mother clearly would never do. Buff Frog outright said he’d comeback if she took over. The series had been building to it for this long and this is finally it.

Naturally even if she’s gotten better though.. she still dosen’t WANT the roll and all Star can think about is finding her mom. And while she is being selfish, bigger issues to worry about you have to remember again that this is a 15 year old kid being given no time to process what’s going on. It’s not helped by Moon having clearly been such a control freak she tightly managed everything.. something Star REALLY dosen’t have time for right now and on one seems to get.  She lost her mom, was thrust into a role she didn’t want and now has to both find her mom, AND run the kingdom, AND save it somehow without half their usual resources, and with Marco, uch as he tries to be supportive, trying to get her to see that going after her mom simply isn’t the way to fix this. But despite all Moon’s done.. she’s still star’s mom and she can’t see past it or her own fear of becoming her mother if Moon dosen’t take the crown back so she makes mistakes. 

Still she has a war room to attend... with the commison deciding to sit in as always.  Star angrily asks what they think their doing here.... you know given this entire situation is directly their fault for imprisoning metora’s parents, letting the angry former husband of the queen decide what to do with her, and then clearly not having kept one iota of tabs on her since then. Not only that but since this whole situation was outed and it was clear Meteora was on a rampage they’ve done NOTHING to actually try and go out and stop her, and when confronted by star Hekapoo just says “Councling you?” 

They’ve learned NOTHING from what they’ve done and Star rightfully tosses them out. And rightfully so: While they COULD be of use it’s very clear just by actions alone they’ve learned nothing. THEY caused this, all of it, and Mewni is in danger because of them, lives were ruined and they do not care.  If they were contrite, if they truly cared about anything but their own power and egos, then Star would’ve been wrong for throwing them out and not giving them a second chance. But they don’t. It’s also VERY telling that only ONE of them actually bothers to help later and i’ts clear it’s more because Hekapoo likes Marco as a person more than because she actually cares who lives or dies. 

This also brings me to a fun counting gag for this review: The Wasted Plots count. Things that the series either didn’t follow up on or BARELY touched and thus didn’t do so properly. So our first two up are not having the comission as the main villians of season 4: their responsible for a lot of Mewni’s bloody history, didn’t help in it’s hour of need and their desire to control the coutnry against it’s rightful ruler’s wishes could’ve been great. Mina still coudl’ve been around as the heavy for them, but it’s weird they just never got properly dealt with. I mean they die at the end but i’ts more a neat consequence of Star’s genocidal temper tantrum than any dramatic payoff

The other is that Omnitraxus.. has lost his empathy. He was the one who confessed, the one who felt sorry, the one woh truly seemd reptentant.. and it just vanishes here. From here on out he’s just a grumpy jackass who thinks the worst of eclipisa for no reason. He’s at odds with star and eclipsa from ehre on out because they coudln’t be bothered to write a complex motive because it’s not what they remotely cared about. So that’s two

Wasted Plots Count: 2

The rest of the meeting only goes slightly better: The Knights have no real working plans while one condescends to star which earns him a rightful blast across the room, and they did try sending mina.. but she comes back a husk.

So... after setting up Mina as this big brolly style threat, whose DETERMINED to stop meteora instead of following that up, giving us a cool fight scene, having mina turn out to be the real villian or at least have an enemy mine with star against her... you just.. have her sucked dry. And she’s supposed to be big bad next season after getting easily jobbed out OFFFSCREEN to this season’s big bad. And you thought everybody would be on board with that

Wasted Plots: 3

So Star’s out of time, out of options and out of patience and goes out into the hall, running into her dad. Naturally given the state she’s in she begs him to take charge but he dosen’t. He gives her a good reason to: while he’s good at parties at what not he’s just not good at ruling like Moon was, and much like everyone else he’s lost with her gone. He does give her the one thing he can though: his full support. Which in a LOT of situations would come across as a hollow gesture of an asshole foistering too much responblity on a stressed out teenager. Here though.. it’s him being honest. In a parallel of what happened with moon decades ago, he’s giving the stressed out queen the one thing she hasn’t gotten, and the one thing she’s badly needed: someone to say “I trust your judgment , you can do this, and whatever you do I will be behind you.”. And like those decades ago it makes the diffrence. While this dosen’t SOLVE Star’s meltdown, she stil goes back to her room to understandably mope in private, it’s clearly the first time anyone in the castle has been able to actually make her smile or give the poor girl hope since moon left. Before I move on credit to Jess for noticing the parallel, I missed it the first time and only got it the second time thanks to her.

 I’d also like to say River.. is such a great character. Easily one of the series best, intitally introduced as what seemed to be your standard sitcom dad, if the parent star clearly got most of her personality from and liked better. Instead he proved to be a loving partner, a good father whose far smarter than he appears and a hell of a warrior. I honestly feel he desreved to actually get a reaction to the events of the finale and i’m still mad he didn’t. But.. that’s a story for another day. 

For now Star is panicking, only getting relief once again because Larvbo comes in, the laundry knight guy who was the only good part of that terrible episode what where marco comes back, everyone but Eclipsa and Moon have lost hteir brain cells, and I die a little on the inside. But here he gets to be in a good episode and the simple act of picking out a bunch of outfits for star instead of pressing her for a choice and giving her plenty of options.

Star eventually has a eureka moment though: her mom disappeared into magic.. so Maybe she’s in the realm of magic. As a refresher the Realm of Magic is the source of all magic and the place where all those unicorns, and as Jess coudln’t help pointing out lizards and jellyfish, are.. .and all of whom star eventually kills directly or indrecitly, something Jess couldn't stop pointing out, and couldn’t stop making me laugh as a result. 

Thing is SOMEONE needs to hold Meteora.. so Marco volunteers. This leads to one of the best fights in the entire show.. but starts with something confusing as Marco ONCE AGAIN says he has 40 years of experince. Yeah I think nows’ a good time to put on the breaks, and talk about the whole neverzone thing.

See the idea of the Neverzone was a bit dicey: having marco age 40 years and apparently remember it, meant that he was basically an adult.. and in a show where he had four diffrent possible love intrests, all the same age, that was a problem, especially since it did nothing to stop his relationship with Jackie.  Now hard as it might be to belivie it was actually settled during season 2: In the remaining episodes in that season, Marco didn’t really act on his new abilities,  and one of those weird live q+a’s where they used a limtited animation version of the characters to answer questions (thoguh using the voice actors) they had a perfect solution for this: It was like a distant childhood memory. This even accounted for Marco later having some memories of the NeverZone and having his skills: while they were distant, he could likely recall bits and pieces, and as for the skills the muscle memory was likely still razor sharp, and is something he could simply practice. He didn’t have to remember HOW he learned some form of neverzonan combat to remember it, just the steps to do so. 

The problem is season 3 frequently implied Marco FULLY remembered everything that happened to him in this form. That meant Marco was for all intensive pruproses a 56 year old man dating high schoolers. A thing they JUST fixed and could’ve easily woven into the actual episodes. 

There was a LOT of potetial that could be mined from either scenario.. but they instead kept it vauge and annoyed the hell out of everyone as there was no real answer to if they should stop shipping or not. Also this certainly counts for 

Wasted Plots:4 

As the idea marco was loosign these ablities or his longing to be his older self was a good idea and while the latter was touched upon in the portal episode this season, it wasn’t ever again. So it counts.

So yeah putting Marco vaugely being a pedophile aside, the kind of sentence that makes me regret my job for a second till I remember “Oh yeah I got to write about Goofy doing an exorcism yesterday what am I complaining about, the fight itself is spectacular, showing just how far both our heroes have come in 3 seasons. For Star it not only shows off her full range of spells, both invented classics like an upgraded version of the narhwal blast, a kitten shower, and of course spider with a top hat blast, it also shows how she’s changed as a person: while her style is still all about power and strength, instead of just blindly charging in each attack is designed to try and knock Marco off his guard and hit him while his guard is down in a specific way. Meanwhile with Marco he’s gone from Daniel Larusso about halfway into his training, to a full on master the present day , full on Sensei LaRusso would have trouble with, countering every attack of stars with expert timing and with whatever weapons he can grab off her wall. The fight is quick, brutal and ends in a draw, showing the two have stayed equals but have become MASSIVELY more powerful.. and that Marco is capable of stalling meteora. 

So it’s here our two heroes depart into seperate subplots. As such i’ll be doing each one separately and then dovetailing back together for the climax. 

Magical Bonding Time with your Naked Mother:

So star heads into the realm of magic. She’s prepared for the amnesia thing this time with a compact reminder telling her “you are star butterfly”, and having brough plenty of backups, traversing through this majestic and storied land she’s going to blow up real good in a season. 

She runs into unicorns, other creatures that will die soon.. and most troublilingly one bathed in black magic. This ends up being a clue though as it turns out the pure magic flowing throughout the place washed off Moon’s magic... and corrupted the rest of the magic even though if it can wash it off that makes no sense, but the more I think about season 4 the more I get closer to have an ulcer so let’s not dwell on this kay?

So Star finds her mom... nude.. and using her own hair as clothes...

Yeah I don’t get who approved of this either. Point is Star TRIES to job Moon’s memory, slowly fails.. and then slowly looses hers, ending part one frolicing with her naked mother, a sentence I REALLY hope I never have to say ever again, as Marco desperatley calls for help. 

As part to begins the two just sorta.. wonder around magically high and braindead for a while, though it does bring up something intrestnig: the fact the realm of magic zig zags into every other kingdom and seemingly every other type of magic... despite the fact Daron says other magic types are fine....and they ONLY use this for the finale and no time before that despite being an interesting idea and something Star MIGHT be curious about. Just saying. 

Wasted Plots: 5

Eventually though the Unicorn in charge just.. zaps both back to Mewni. That’s it that’s all the climax for ten minutes of screentime. This plot isn’t TERRIBLE, I just felt we probably didn’t need most of what we get of it in part 2 as it starts to drag by then compared to Marco slowly loosing badly on the other side. Speaking of which.

The Marknificent 7 

So with the fate of Mewni , Marco has to assemble his best team. His avengers, his justice league, his justice society, his fantastic four, his x-men, his x-force, his x-factor, his new mutants, his maruaders, his hellions, his legionaries, his legion of superheroes, his legion of substitue heroes, his teen titans, his team titans, his titans, his justice society, his all star squadron, his agents of wakanda, his extreme justice, his young justice, his old justice, , his inferior five, his robonic stooges, his freedom fighters, his arctic freedom fighters, his downunda freedom fighters, his forty fathoms freedom fighters, his secret freedom fighters, his secret avengers, his mighty avengers, his uncanny avengers, his defenders, his champions, his squadron supreme, his strikeforce, his skrull kill krew, his spirits of vengance, his gotham knights, his birds of prey, his web warriors his justice league international, his justice league europe, his runaways, his redeemers, his young avengers, his thunderbolts, his suicide squad, his teen angels his...

Oh thank god. Point is this is his superteam assembled of the finest people.. whose numbers he has: Kelly, Jorby, Talon, Hekapoo, Ponyhead, Tom and Himself, the Marknificent seven. 

Breaking this team down itself, in case it wasn’t obvious I’m a bit of a fan of super teams: the picks are MOSTLY good: Kelly is his love intrest/one of his closest friends, Jorby is her closest friend, mount and one of the series most underutilized characters. Seriously after seeing his personal life in Lava Lake Beach I want to know this guy.. and do mushrooms with him. What is he like? Why is he dating a seemingly non anthromphic goose? how do they do stuff? Okay I don’t want answers to that last one but point is I want to know this guy. 

Talon is a good addition as he didn’t get much real fleshing out in his debute, but here gets to be a grizzzly goofus who insists on group photos and shades for everyone. We also needed more of him and at least got ONE more proper episode with him. Tom is an obvious choice as tom’s best friend, one of his love intrests, and damn powerful. 

The only questionable additions are Ponyhead and Hekapoo.. For ponyhead.. there’s only one way to put it she’s...

She is able to put stuff on her horn now so.. progress? I dunno. But she’s SOMEHOW not the most questionable member of the team.. which given who we’re talking about, is a TRIUMPH. 

It’s also because the most questionable member is a fucking war criminal who staged a cou, ruined a baby’s life and out of all her collegue’s has been the biggest dick about it. It’s Hekapoo. And look in this one episode.. it’s forgivable: Given her mental state and tendency to avoid issues for as long as possible till they blow up in her face, it’s likely Star simply hadn’t told Marco the whole truth yet, and likely didn’t know how, knowing it’d cost him a friend and not really ready to face it. 

The problem is later on. This issue is NEVER adressed, as we’ll see later in this very retrospective Marco still hangs out with her casually, and it makes him come off VERY badly to be hanging out with a sociopath casually knowing the horrible things she’s done. It dosen’t impact this episode.. but it really should’ve.  Marco SHOULD’VE found out what she did mid battle and that easily coudlv’e provided the perfect reason for the plan to fail. Instead of what we get which is the plan being stupid. Instead it just NEVER gets explalined and it’s subtextual that Marco hangs out with someone he finds attractive despite them being one of the worst monsters (metaphorically) in mewman history. 

Wasted Plots: 6

So about that stupid plan: Marco’s plan is the doomnut, basically creating a giant donut with a pit in the center and a giant pillar of flames to trap her. 

He.. he wants to trap a juggernaut the size of a buildling.. with fire. Is she.. is she frankenstien now? This plan makes no sense and Marco is smarter than this. Don’t get me wrong he’s a dumbass a LOT of the time, especially this season, but he CAN actually come up with good tactical plans. This is not one of them. Tom hypes them all up to do it though when Marco’s inspriational speech fails, and they get to work.

We then get a REALLY great scene and one of the two that truly makes this finale VITAL to covering tom’s character. As tom gets dressed in prince Zuko cosplay, because why not, and I do agree with Jess this is a damn awesome outfit. My faviorite will ALWAYS be tom in a suit, but damn if samurai zuko tom dosen’t look dope. But Tom also has a heart to heart with marco, bringing up every shitty thing he’s done to the guy: the blood moon ball, the roulette wheel of death, beating his ass at ping pont, the mackie hand tickets, naysaya, the monster arm... which Marco then has to point out wasn’t him. Which, fair to Tom, that DOES sound like something Season 1 Tom would do. The point is Tom realizes he hasn’t exactly been the best person, or best friend, to marco over the years, and wants the guy to know he’s sorry, he has his back, and wants to kiss his face... okay the last parts’ implied. Look it is telling when these two have WAY better chemistry with each other than with star. Either of them.  I see why Jess has that hidden mural in her basement next to the antilion and my betamax copy of weekend at burnies. Look I need to keep that shit safe as humanly possible and that basement is a fortress. 

So the trap is sprung as Marco uses the best bait they have: Princess Turdina, putting on the dress again. And while this dosen’t really impact the plot the fact they just sorta had marco dump the identity and clearly state he wasn’t a girl in any way shape or form, especially when so many trans viewers identified with him, so it’s nice ot see it back. Also 

Wasted Plots: 7

The plan goes off with several hitches as Marco uses Nachos as his ride.. only for the sentient being to somehow flood, thus making it so he gets a slow start and Meteora is able to soul suck him with that power that never gets explained, was pulled straight out of the writers collective rectums, and is op as hell. Also it never getting explalined

Wasted Plots: 8

Kelly and Jorby are able to save him.. but at the cost of Jorby. Also if Nachos was in the group dosen’t tha tmake it 8? Questions for later point is they get her in the pit.. and she easily puts the fire out with tail shockwaves. 

So yeah Marco and friends are fucked, down two people, and flee for their lives as we end part 1. 

Part 2 opens up with them hiding.. and everyone but Marco and Tom deciding to quit and flee to the nearest pub til this blows over. 

Okay so taking them down one by one: Kelly is written out of character as all hell. While she can be flighty she DOES genuinely care about Marco and is implied all this season, and confirmed next season, to have a crush on him.  It makes ZERO sense, especially after meteora killed her best friend, that she’d want to just up and bounce with Marco and danger and Jorby’s blood on the one endangering him’s hands. 

The other three do make sense: Talon didn’t sign up for this, the plan he did sign up for failed, so while it’s a dick move it’s in character to bounce and given how easily he folds in a second, I can’t stay mad at him. Pony.... well that’s easy.

Hekapoo, unsuprisingly though is STILL the worst wanting to flee and not only leave a child she’s friends with, and in his future life has an implied relationship with, to die to a monster SHE IS FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING. Meteora would nto be rampaging and probably would’ve been a good queen had you, crystal himbo, ba ba baaastard, and the doucheist cloud in existance not DIRECTLY CAUSED THIS. This. is. your. fault! 

Thankfully Tom turns things around, calling them out and pointing out they don’t follow marco because he has good plans, they follow him because they like him, because he’s marco: he’s too stupid, too noble to give up and he’ll keep going tillt hey win and he WILL win because he’s Marco. Somehow it works, mostly because like Tom, Kelly wants to make out iwth him, Hekapoo figures why not, Ponyhead is a sucker for speechs and Talon... is sold once Marco agrees to the photo, the last of which I consider to be the best gag in the two parter. 

So it’s on to Plan B, which is an actually GODO plan: Hekapoo gets Meteora’s attention, not hard given again THIS IS ALL HER FAULT. And if I sound like a record it’s only becasue the episode NEVER brings this up, and it’s infuriating. Anyways Meteora takes the bait.. only for marco to put his bloomers over her eyes. 

Meanwhile Tom has been AWESOMELY using a GIANT FLAMING AXE TO CUT DOWN TREES FOR THEIR TRAP. THey then wrap her in the trees, seemingly beating her, only for her to roll off before they can take her back to the castle. Thankfully Tom improvises and simply opens a craggy pit to hell, let’s her go in then seals it. 

So the day is saved.. for a bout a minute. Meteora claws her way back up, rips off the bloomers and takes out Talon, then pony and quickly gets an escaping Hekapoo. 

More actually troubling is whose next: Kelly. One of Meteora’s attacks rips off part of her hair.. revealing Tad. Because apparently douchiness runs on equilvent exchange and with Hekpaoo and pony down, someone had to fill the void. 

I LIKED tad: the twist with him and Kelly being some weird symboitic being at first was hilarous, and his apparance with Marco in Lava Lake Beach was fine. But they HAD to keep bringing him back and not only were his returns not funny he’s just.. a creep. He won’t leave Kelly alone, refuses to move out, stalks her, and last time we saw him questioned her on hvaing a crush on marco which is none of his buisness. This time he fakes his own death to read her a photo, refuses to move out, and Kelly eventually gets fed up and gives him a dressing down telling him to “Go live in the woods tad, go live int he woods” Maybe some deadites will get him there... eventually. I know we have one more episode but I like to think he found the necronomicon after that and nature took it’s corse. It’s the only way I sleep at night. 

So yeah everybody’s dead dave, and Tom and Marco are left hiding> So Marco does the only plan he has left.. he’s going to go out there and sacrifice himself, hopeing Meteora toys with him long enough over their history so Tom has time to warn star. Tom, being the goodest boy and the purest of heart after his character development, naturally wants NONE of that, so Marco pulls the one trump card he has left, the ONE thing he thinks will guarantee his best friend will abandon him for his own sake and for star’s sake: He tells Tom he kissed star. And the pure devastation on that poor demon’s face shows that he gets it’s true and seemingly bolts. 

This one act to me.. is one of the best Marco moments in the entire series, and helps make up for a series of terrible decisions including the one that brought us to this one: his mildly predatory and terrible act of kissing star. He intitated, he went for it, and he didn’t try anything else. it was a douchey, scummy, creepy thing to do... but it was clear from seconds later he regretted it, and it was clear from the earlier scene he felt nothing but guilt. Not about getting caught, not about not being with star, he just felt bad he hurt his best friend this deeply for his own satisfaction and BADLY wanted to tell him.. but couldn’t. Their lives were abotu to be at stake. He couldn’t risk putting everyone else at risk just to ease his own concnsionse. I feel fully from this act and from the way he acts during this two parter that Marco would’ve told tom as soon as things were better.  But he choose to tell him now. Not to aleivatie his concionous, not to redeem himself, not for the glory of a bit sacrifice.. but because it was the right thing to do. Tom is stronger than him, can fly and could be there quicker. Marco probably woudln’t of made the journey but Tom, Tom can and tom HAS TO if Star is to have any chance. And Tom being just as noble would not leave him. Marco had to do SOMETHING to get the love of his life to save the other love of his life even fi it meant destroying him. Him telling tom is not an easy thing, and in these circumstances? Telling tom when he might DIE knowing this horrible thing and die in pain and heartbreak? It’s something no one would wish on someone they care about.. but Marco HAD to. After way too long a season of being selfihs, of putting his needs before everyone elses, of being all about marco... he puts everyone elses above him to save those he cares about. He does the hard thing to save a life. 

So Marco accepts his fate but unfortunately, Meteora’s just.. stopped carring about him. Star is the only thing standing between her and the crown and while kiling Marco is fine.. i’ts no longer her life’s purpose like it once was. So she dosen’t bother taking forever reveling in it, she just tries to kill him... and Tom gets in the way, taking the shot for him. 

This is easily Tom’s finest hour. While he flies in telling marco “i’m calling your bluff”... it’s very clear he’s at best lying to himself: Tom knows deep down Marco wouldn’t lie to him about that, even to save his life.. and that let’s face it with the smooch buddies thing and Tom’s eyes not clouded by jealousy anymore, tom knows his boy can’t lie. But he went back anyway. Because he loves marco, because marco’s his friend.. and because like Marco trying to shoo tom away.. it was the right thing to do. No matter how bad Marco wanted to sacrifice himself.... Tom can’t let him do that. It’s not what Star would wnat and more importantly it’s not where he wants. 

It’s the culmination of 3 seasons worth of character development: Tom started as an entitled creep, an asshole who DEMANDED star’s love instead of trying to earn it, and refused to see why she left him: his anger, his arrogance, his need for control. She had every reason to walk out on him and he couldn’t see it. All he could do was blame Marco because SOMEONE had to be responsible for STar breaking up with him and it couldn’t be Tom himself. 

And it was marco that broke that: Marco who got tom to see that trying to dominate star and make her do what he wants.. isn’t healthy and isn’t who she is. Star is a person who does what she wants.. and that’s what he loved about her. You can’t love somebody for being free then try to cage them. So Tom... finally let her go. Sure his next interaction with marco was a scam.. but hte geninely bonded with the guy, letting go of his hatred and finally finding a friend. 

And with that... Tom slowly changed: After the song he realized he was never getting star back for good.. but was still inspired by her wanting to be a better princess by trying to be a better him. Sure he stumbled: ignored her instead of apologizing to her, nearly caused a war, tried to yank his soul out instead of actually trying to change, but every step was for himself, and not to win her back... and because of that he got her back anyway, the reasons she left him in the first place melted away.

Tom still had bumps: he had to learn empathy, just HOW bad monsters had it and to accept he was one of them, only insulated from it because he was rich.. and even then not entirely. He realized deep down that he had still gotten his share of funny looks and fear just for being waht he was, and not helping the other monsters get it was horrible.. and thus got why Star spent her time on it. T

By this time Tom’s evolved from a spoiled brat to a true, purehearted hero... and it’s all come down to this. The Old Tom, he would’ve left marco to die and laughed about it. This tom...leaps in front of a psychotic demon to save a Marco who geninely hrut him, who tom would have EVERY REASON to want to abandon.. but can’t because that’s not who he is. He’s Thomas Draconius Luciotr, he’s a good person... nad no matter what his best friend’s done, Marco dosen’t die if he can help it. 

Tom does have good logic too: he has a LOT of souls so he’s the natural weakness to metora’s ablitiy: she can keep absobring and abosrbing, but he cna’t be rendered a husk from it. Unforunately this has a natural side effect: every soul just makes her stronger. The two are seemingly doomed.. just as Star Awakes. 

The Right Thing

Star wakes up, and River assumed she just napped. Once she’s concious though she remembers.. and has to sadly tell her dad Moons lost.. again.  Now Star has almost no hope lest.. and looses the last of it as a heavily battered tom comes to the door.... carrying marco like a baloon. Marco’s been soul drained. 

Oh and to make matters worse Meteora is at their doorstep. Star runs away, with tom following, leaving River to take care of it. Star, in a panic, tries summoning the citadel so she can heal marco the same way her mother healed the comission, using the basin at the temple. But she can’t get it right, so Star’s simply left looking crazy to her boyfriend and wallowing in despair. Some could insult her for this, call her out for being selfish.. but she’s a 15 year old whose mom is missing, whose kingdom is in ruins, whose best friend is basically dead, and implicilty given who marco recurited so’s all but two other people she cares about, and she has NO idea how to stop it. She’s not a queen in her own eyes.. she’s just a scared child desperately wanting her mommy. 

So Tom tries to fix things, in a slightly shitty but understandable way; he opens the pit to the underworld and offers to take them both away, get her to saftey. It’s what Marco would’ve wanted and it’s all he has left. Meteora can’t find her there. He promises. he can’t really keep that promise but he can try. Star, at her lowest point, with nothing to gain and only two things left to loose prepares to go.. only to notice the eagles her father road in drifting back souless. Her dad has died.. and because she didn’t stay to help she’s responsible. As bad as she feels, ad much pain as she’s in she can’t just walk away and pretend this sin’t her fight.  Sure it’s understandable why she’s been in such a terrible state and made terrible choices.. but it makes it more admriable when she realizes the consequences of her constant running away, the lives it’s cost.. adn decies no more. She trusts Marco to tom, and flies off to confront her destiny. 

Tom naturally follows..balloning in, and as he makes his way through we cut to Star, in a geninely haunting scene as she goes through the castle, seeing all the dead, souless husks around her.. nad finds meteora, sitting on her throne at last. ... and holdling BOTH tom and Marco and glefully taunting Star about how she killed “both her boyfriends. 

Let’s hit the breaks one more time to talk about Meteora. Meteora.. is easily the best of the shows antagonists and the only one to reach her full potetial. Toffee is still my faviorite, but we never got to see the full scope of what caused him to be this way, or got any sense of why he was like this. Mina we got a little of.. but she ultimately came off as a lunk headed racist instead of the tragic figure she could’ve been with just a little more pushing, and clearly WAS supposed to be. 

Meteora on the other hand is perfectly excuted; As Henious she wasn’t bad, Jessica walter is a delight no matter what form she’s in, but slowly offered dimnishing returns as her threat dropped and dropped. 

But by turning everything about her on it’s head, by revealing this cold, uncaring headmistress who abused teens, stalked one just because he had the gall to... destroy her mind rape academy and give it to the people she was abusing to run better, we instead see something diffrent: We see an innocent child who was yanked from her parents, tossed to an uncarring robot and abused into being something she wasn’t: Told what made her special, her scales and tail and cheeks, were all monsterous and to repress them, that she was somehow wrong for being born and needed to change... and thus morphed into the spitting image of the machine that made her: a cold, heartless woman who glefully drained the joy and individuality from teens, good , abd and neutral, it didn’t matter, it was sick etiher way, to supress what she was, to keep herself alive. 

And then she finds out her years of doing that, her years of hard work and horrors.. were for nothing. She was never SUPPOSED to be a metephorical monster lining up children for slaugher. She was  queen... and it broke her. Everything she was was gone and all that was left was rage; Rage at her abuser, who rightfully died, rage at the kingdom for throwing her away, and rage at the people who replaced her. All that was left of what could’ve been a charming, wonderful young woman, thanks to abuse, racisim and scorn.. .was pure anger, deterined to burn down everything that had mocked her and rule over the ashes. Even if there was nothing left in the process she would be queen. 

it’s terrifying, heartbreaking, and amazing all at once, taking a seemingly one note villian who clearly had layers to her.. and peeling back those layers to reveal a tragic monster created purely by racisim. Purely by people thinking just because of how someone was born, they were less and didn’t deserve their birthright. And her story... as tragic as it was... could only end one way. 

So we’ve come to that ending, and sadly to the ending of Jessica Walter’s time on the show, though for her final performance, this is one hell of a showstopper. Star TRIES one last time, begs Meteora to help fix it together, to work.. but what parts of metoera could’ve done that, could’ve made a better world.. their dead. All that’s left is a want for the crown.. and to kill the last person in the way of it. 

And so we get the best fight in the series. Jess said it, I agreed. It’s an utter spectacle, with both sides using everything they had: meteora her strength and bullshit soul sucking powers, and star all her spells pumped up to infinity, finally using her golden mode for full combat and showing just how poweful it is again.  Every blow has purpose, every spell is dazzling and every move is captivating. It’s just one long, glorious fight with EVERYTHING for both sides on the line. 

Sadly.. it’s a fight Star can’t wint. Eventually exaustion gets to her and while Meteora’s not at full either.. she’s still far more powerful. Star is left iwth one last desperation manuver: PUT ALL HER MAGIC into a spirit ball type bove and shove it at meteora. It does a lot of damage.. but ultimately leaves Star exausted.. and Meteora about to win. It also apparently DOSEN’T drain sta’rs magic despite that looking exactly like what it was, and star having to navigate without it would’ve been both intresting and made the ending of next season make WAY more sense. So

Wasted Plots: 9

But the fight isn’t over.... A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES for what is easily the best scnee of the entire show: Eclipsa. There’s a moment of worry at first as Eclipsa takes the wand from a stricken star and in a stunning sequence transforms it back into her parasol.. and takes back her full power. 

Eclipsa has been through hell: She lost her husband, her daugher, her throne and her legacy to racisim, was woken up only to be used, nearly tossed back despite being freed fairly, had to be shackled up, and then found out her tormentors had rewritten history to erase her child and left her child to her abusive ex who threw her to an even worse monster, turnign Meteora into a being of pure hate. She then had to make the hard decision wether to save he rfriend or her daughter, was unfairly scorned for it.. and now faces the impossible. Fight her daughter.. or let the daughter she’s found die. 

And it took me this long to realize that. Star isn’t her grandaughter, like she thought.. blood or no blood.. Star is Eclipsa’s daughter, more so than she was ever moons. Star was the only one who ever fully embraced this poor woman, accepting she wasn’t some evil boogey man but just a woman. Sure star later has to parent her own surrogate mom a bit.. but Eclipsa returned the favor plenty: She’s been nothing but supportive of star, and while her advice sometimes lead to some bad stuff... it was neerintetional. She always trusted star to make the right call when she needed to and time and time again she proved her mentor right. 

So when faced with the choice.. Eclipsa sees no chocie at all. She TRIES to talk down meteora.. but it’s clear that won’t work. But she had to try.. because what comes next... is painful to watch as it is beautiful. In just a few spells, asll said firmly and authoratively, Eclipsa easily finishes metoera, showing off just HOW powerful she is, how dangerous she is.. and just WHY no queen until star was said ot be as strong as her. We’ve been hyped up with how powerful Eclipsa could be and how dangerous it could be and in one awesome sequence.. we see there was no hype: Just fact. 

We also see pain, the poor woman streaming tears down her face, as her daughter desperately calls for Mommy.. her final words as Eclipsa completes her spell.. and killls her daughter, tears streaming down her face, panting in exaustion the following exchange just pure heartbreak, and a pure example of Esme Blanco’s talent as Eclipsa

Star: “What did you do?” Eclipsa: (Utterly heartbroken but firm) What I had to

For the good of her people, mewman and monster, Meteora had to go. Her child had gone from an innocent child to pure desctruction and nothing would be left if Eclipsa hadn’t done this. By doing so she freed the souls her child had destroyed, gave the kigndom a future.. but it dosen’t make having to kill her own child, a child who never had a true chance to live, any easier. Meteora died as she lived... tragically. 

Star finds Marco they hug.. and to close ourt our boy he decides to make this weird and joins them, the two accepting. This.. REALLY promotes the three as t throuple and really makes me wish they’d gone with that instead of..

Wasted Plots: 10

So Star goes to comfort Eclipsa.. and in a show of just what a good person she is despite the hell she’s been through, Eclipsa gladly offers the wand back... and Star shows her own development.. by giving it back Not because of the fears she’s had all episode of the crown.. but because time and time again the butterfly family has hurt people. And ever since the Comission destroyed the line and started over, it’s only gotten worse. An endless cycle of vengance and death with no defendants, mewman against monster, mewman opressing monster, monster fighting back, some monsters going too far, some mewmans doing worse. it just got worse and worse.. and has just resulted in what could’ve been a great queen some day long past put down like a mad dog by her greeving mother. Star truly wanted to change things.. but she can’t. And she knows deep down while she needs to find her mom, Moon won’t either. Only one person can fix this... and that’s the person who was robbed of her chance to do so. Star gives her the wand back, telling her it’s the right thing, putting her trust in Eclipsa to fix the mess both their ancestors, and the comission, and so many other horrible people, have made. 

And after getting the first kind gesture she’s gotten in far too long.. Eclipsa gets another: she hears a baby cry.. and finds meteora. While her old daughter is sadly dead and gone... she’s been reincarnated. How?

Wasted Plots: 11

But i’m not going to fight it: after a lifetime of hardship... Meteora gets a chance, reborn to get the life she truly deserved all along, free from racisim and supression and Eclipsa finally gets to raise her daughter. She thanks star then Mary Poppins off into the distnace, Star unsure if she did the right thing. 

It’s then Glossaryck runs in, screaming Globgor as he did all season.. before swtiching from professional asshole Jefffery Tambor to professional sex god Keith David, who uses his silky voice to reveal that’s the name of Eclipsa’s husband, and that’s where she’s headed. He then fucks off for the rest of the series, only showing up thrice more for plot stuff and a few times in the background, never explaning why he was only saying globgor for a season. He created the line of queens and stuff sure, and plays a key part in the finale and premire but that’s it. 

Wasted Plots: 12

So with that we get our final scene with his awesome. Eclipsa flies to the monster temple, does a few blasts.. and finds her husband, frozen in crystal, and ending the season on:

“Hello my love... we’re home”

Final Thoughts; Divide and Conquer are an excellent set of episodes. I’ve poitned out my flaws; The doomnut is stupid, something it once again took jess pointing out ot me to have it click, Hecckapoo should’ve been called out, and some parts of the Star and Moon plot meander.. but i’ts not enough to take away from the whole. And the whole is an emotinal roller coaster ride, full of payoffs for character arcs, setups for later, some pays off way too damn many not so much, and jawdropping moment after jawdropping moment ,leaving on an excellnent cliffhanger the next season sadly fails to live up to. And we’ll get more into that some other day. For now the story of Metora has come to it’s tragic conclusion.... hopefully her other self’s life comes to a better on

Final Thoughts on the Meteora Arc:

This arc is excellent, as should be made clear. It’s easily star’s best arc, starting with Eclipsa’s proper on screen debut in battle of mewni, and tragically concluding here. It has the most depth, unmasking the comissoin as true villians and throwing a lot of the series into question, Eclipsa and Meteora are both throughly engaging characters and it evolves star intrestingly..... before next season utterly wastes that development but again story for another time. I was glad to take a detour for this arc, and while there was still plenty of tom, this arc was one for the record books..... and i’m going to miss it as we slowly descend into crap.