Going off of the other ask lol what are your favorite theon ships?
Hi, anon!! I am so sorry for the wait, it's the exam season.
Also, once I eventually typed 5 paragraphs of my answer, tumblr refreshed and deleted all of it 😭 tumblr hates Theon Greyjoy #confirmed.
I hope I at least manage to make it up to you with the amount of yapping I did. Thank you so much for asking!
My fav Theon ships in (almost) no particular order:
1. THROBB
Ok, this one genuinely gets the first place, one of my favorite pairings in ASOIAF in general.
Their dynamic is so complex and layered: there’s a very prominent power imbalance - they're a hostage and the heir of his captor, respectively. One gets to be with his parents, beloved and cherished, while the other has to be away from his home, barely tolerated, always at risk of being executed for his father’s actions.
We can see Robb's power over Theon shine through even in the Starks' very first AGOT chapter.
Put away your sword, Greyjoy,” Robb said. For a moment he sounded as commanding as their father, like the lord he would someday be. - AGOT, Bran I
We see it through Bran's POV, but even then there's an emphasis on his future as the Lord of Winterfell. The implication that this title holds for Theon is immediately associated with the looming threat of being executed, a threat that had been hanging over him since he was nine years old:
Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who’d brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark’s stern face and great dark sword. - –ACOK, Theon I
This power dynamic bleeds into Theon's feelings for Robb. In this passage, Theon minimizes the extent of his affection for Robb because he is faced with the prospect of his real family finally welcoming and accepting him.
For Robb himself, Theon did have a certain affection, as for a younger brother . . . but it would be best not to mention that. In Pyke, it would seem, the old wars were still being fought. - ACOK, Theon I
And yet, despite it all, the love between them is genuine. Theon wants to be appreciated by Robb because he's the closest person he has in the world, the only one who really knows and loves him.
“No Stark but Robb was ever brotherly toward me…” –ACOK, Theon IV
When he saves Bran, and Robb scolds him, he is visibly dejected, and still mopes about it later. Partly because of his resentment and wounded pride, partly because he really wanted Robb to be grateful/appreciative of him, and was genuinely hurt by his reaction.
While Theon obviously had reasons to dislike the Starks, Robb too had a lot of prerequisites to hate/ignore Theon: he comes from a culture that is prejudiced against the Ironborn, his parents probably didn’t encourage him getting close to a hostage, and Theon himself likely wasn’t the easiest person to get along with (considering his circumstances).
Despite it all, Robb did like Theon, so much so that even Bran reluctantly admits that:
“Robb seemed to admire Theon and enjoy his company…” –AGOT, Bran V
Robb also knows a lot about the ironborn and the Greyjoys, and while he may have asked Theon about them during the war, I like to believe that he took an interest back when they’d spend time with each other growing up.
"If she stays at Deepwood Motte that's all she can hope to hold," said Robb. "What's true for the brothers is even more true for her. She will need to sail home to oust Euron and press her own claim." – Robb, ASOS, Catelyn V
“The ironborn will be setting sail toward Pyke, I expect. Theon told me how his people think. Every captain a king on his own deck.” – Robb, ASOS, Catelyn V
During the war, Robb consistently trusts Theon as an advisor and chooses to rely on him by sending him to Pyke, despite Cat’s council. Interestingly enough, in order to convince her, he brings up Bran’s rescuing (for which he himself had publicly reprimanded Theon). In fact, he was so moved by Theon's act that he told Catelyn about it in a situation when the conversation didn't directly concern Theon's trustworthiness.
“Theon’s fought bravely for us. I told you how he saved Bran from those wildlings in the wolfswood.” –Robb, ACOK, Catelyn I
We know about the extent of Robb's gratitude and admiration from Catelyn's POV, not Theon's, which means that Theon didn't realize how much Robb truly cherished him, and now will never really get to hear about it from Robb himself.
That, and the fact that they loved each other so much makes Theon’s betrayal of Robb hit so hard. The guilt and the way it’s plaguing Theon throughout the books, and post-Reekification…it’s just too good.
And Robb. Robb who had been more a brother to Theon than any son born of Balon Greyjoy's loins. Murdered at the Red Wedding, butchered by the Freys. I should have been with him. Where was I? I should have died with him. – ADWD, Theon I
Who’s doing it like them?
2. Jeyne/Theon
These two make me so sad, it's not even funny. Poor Jeyne suffers so much that it's cruel, even from the doylist point of view.
I am not even sure if they'd be able to have a romantic relationship after what they have gone through, which is why I like them best as companions that are healing together and helping each other get better. They are truly the only people in the world who can really understand each other, there's no one else who would know both Winterfell's care and Ramsay's cruelty.
One of the main things that makes them appealing as a dynamic is the huge role that Jeyne plays in the restoration of Theon's identity. She is the only reason why he ultimately decides to keep fighting for his life - the sympathy he feels for her is the powerful push for his remaining courage, a path leading back to his dignity. He only decides to make another attempt to escape because he feels that she's worth saving (unlike himself).
Moreover, Jeyne is the only one who really sees him, precisely because of their shared connection to Winterfell, she keeps calling him Theon. I find it very compelling that unlike her, Theon harshly urges Jeyne to not let go of Lady Arya. He wants to protect and comfort her, but does it in a very hutful way due to his fragile mental (and physical) state. Despite his fear and desperation, he does feel bad for hurting her, but he's so afraid that he can't help but do it, if it means that she'll ultimately be safe and not hurt.
"He hated women weeping. Jeyne Poole had wept all the way from Winterfell to here, wept until her face was purple as a beetroot and the tears had frozen on her cheeks, and all because he told her that she must be Arya, or else the wolves might send them back. They trained you in a brothel," he reminded her, whispering in her ear so the others would not hear. "Jeyne is the next thing to a whore, you must go on being Arya." He meant no hurt to her. It was for her own good, and his." - TWOW, Theon I
Maybe I'm delusional, but the way he adds "...and his" almost as an afterthought makes me think that he does put Jeyne's life above his own, at least for now. His own resolve to keep fighting hinges on his ability to keep his innocent ally safe, and I find that really touching and romantic.
"When the tip of her nose turned black from frostbite, and the one of the riders from the Night's Watch told her she might lose a piece of it, Jeyne had wept over that as well. "No one will care what Arya looks like, so long as she is heir to Winterfell," he assured her. "A hundred men will want to marry her. A thousand."" - TWOW, Theon I
I may be reaching, he could be merely preventing her from slipping up and dooming them, nothing more. However, I can't help but also see this moment as Theon comforting Jeyne, helping her cope with her (likely) disfigurement. Because crucially, this moment is mentioned in the same passage as "He hated women weeping.", which makes me think that it's also his way of making it up to her.
It also wouldn't be the first time he tries sparing some of Jeyne's feelings, he also lies to comfort her before her wedding to Ramsay.
Tears spilled from her eyes at last. "I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?" "Yes," he lied. "He's told me so." - ADWD, The Prince of Winterfell
I also like this quote in the context of shipping. Theon becoming Jeyne's man as a result of them healing and seeing each other as life companions fit really well with his potential redemption arc. Because he did help her, he did find enough courage and compassion to help them both escape.
She squeezed his arm. “If we ran away, I could be your wife, or your … your whore … whatever you wanted. You could be my man.” Theon wrenched his arm away from her. “I’m no … I’m no one’s man.” A man would help her. - ADWD, The Prince of Winterfell
Additionally, it seems like he recontextualizes his own suffering and losses through Jeyne - seeing someone innocent suffer along with him is part of the reason he decides to escape and return to being Theon, after all.
This point, however, brings me to a gripe I have with this pairing, and that is the passivity of Jeyne's role. So far in canon, she's basically a mean to Theon's identity reclamation, and it's due to her limited characterization.
This is the reason why I enjoy reading fanfics where Jeyne's afforded more agency, it makes their dymnamic more interesting. What does Theon mean for her arc? What does he help her learn about the world/herself? It's always exciting to see how each fic writer chooses to approach and answer these questions, and I hope GRRM would do our girl justice if the books do come out.
3. Jon/Theon, aka Greysnow
This absolutely rancid mixture of resentment, envy and hurt, I am livinggggg.
Both are outsiders to the Starks, both love Robb, and yet both of them lack something crucial that the other has: Theon is a legitimate highborn, but Jon is the one accepted as a half-brother and Ned's son. Theon is evidenlty jealous of Jon, and projects that feeling onto him
"The whole castle, from Lady Stark to the lowliest kitchen scullion, knew he was hostage to his father’s good behavior, and treated him accordingly. Even the bastard Jon Snow had been accorded more honor than he had. [...] Only Robb and his baseborn half brother Jon Snow had been old enough to be worth his notice. The bastard was a sullen boy, quick to sense a slight, jealous of Theon’s high birth and Robb’s regard for him." –ACOK, Theon I
Despite disliking each other, they have lived closely with each other and have likely spent the majority of their time in each other's company. And boy do they understand each other because of that - they both provide astute observations of the other's character (like in the quote above, sans the projecting lol).
They can’t be dead. Theon would never do that. –ASOS, Jon VI
They hate each other, but no one else could understand them as much they can each other. They're the only people on Planetos that know what it's like to not fully belong to the Stark family, they're the only people who were as close to Robb (being peers and all, other starklings can't relate as much).
What compels me most though is now that Robb is dead, they'd chase after his memory in each other because he had always been there between them. He is like their ultimate dead wife/their third, they will NEVER get away from his ghost and i think that's beautiful.
I can't see them ever developing a healthy dynamic, and that is beautiful #toxicyaoi
4. Asha/Theon
Ok, I am ashamed of that, BUT I also can't help myself, i AM a greyjoycest liker. I hate it when incest is aestheticized (*cough cough* targcest), and I think that the Greyjoys' explicit goal of degrading and overpowering their equals (siblings) is more suitable to approach the topic.
Incest is crucial to the toxicity of the Greyjoy family dynamic: Euron sexually abusing Urri and Aeron, Victarion seriously considering marrying Asha, Asha harassing Theon.
With Asha and Theon, there's an added layer of tragism - if Balon hadn't ruined their family with his empty ambition, if they weren't part of that dysfuntional family/culture, maybe they could have had a proper sibling relationship.
She is easy to talk to, gods praise her, he reflected. I feel as though I’ve known her for years. - ACOK, Theon II
During the Esgred bit, Theon instantly feels a familiarity with Asha - he likes her humor, the way she makes him feel. And until Wex joins them, Asha was the one that initiated physical contact (omg this freak).
“Do you plan to steer with this?” Esgred brushed the front of his breeches once more, and smiled as a finger traced the iron outline of his manhood. “Come back to Pyke with me,” he said suddenly, thinking, What will Lord Balon say? And why should I care? I am a man grown, if I want to bring a wench to bed it is no one’s business but my own. - ACOK, Theon II
One-handed, she undid the lacing of his breeches, then grinned and stepped lightly away from him. “A pity I’m a woman wed, and new with child.” Flustered, Theon laced himself back up. - ACOK, Theon II
He also immediately wants to be submissive in bed with her, and contrasts her against his previous lovers, it's so psychosexually fucked
“You would be wherever you liked.” “I like to be on top.” Where has this wench been all my life? - ACOK, Theon III
Later, Theon is bitter because of Asha's place as the preferred heir and her mocking, but there is also a lot of sexual frustration in his "I liked you better when you were Esgred". It's him confessing that he liked her so much that he wished they weren't burdened by all the baggage of being family. And despite all the ill she's done and said to him, he trusts her by letting her help him.
What's also notable is that as soon as Theon's vulnerable and needs help, Asha is gentle. She doesn't harbor the same resentment, despite having a reason to, she shows her affection towards him because he's still her little brother.
A sudden gust of wind made him lose his footing, and he stumbled to his knees. Asha helped him rise. Theon leaned on her shoulder and let her guide him across the rainslick boards. “I liked you better when you were Esgred,” he told her accusingly. She laughed. “That’s fair. I liked you better when you were nine. - ACOK, Theon III
This moment sort of encompasses her dynamic with him - she never dwells on his failures or their rivalry in her POVs. Asha never stopped seeing him as her shy little brother, she was always able to see through his cocky exterior. Nevertheless, she ends up sounding unwelcome and belittling to Theon, despite her true feelings.
She feels guilty for not being able to convince him to go with her to Deepwood Motte, and agonizes over the "I send you each a piece of prince" line of Ramsay's letter, it replays in her mind over and over because it's specifically about Theon.
He himself never fully realizes just how much she loves him, but still yearns for her acceptance and affection. Their reunion in TWOW literally made me tear up - Theon regressing, Asha humoring him, her being horrified and happy he's alive at the same time, they make me ill!!
Asha took a knee. “Your Grace. Must my brother be chained like that? It seems a poor reward for bringing you the Stark girl.“ The king’s mouth twitched. “You have a bold tongue, my lady. Not unlike your turncloak brother.” “Thank you, Your Grace.” - TWOW, Theon I
This moment with my boy Stannis is so significamt too: despite Theon's failures, the present state of him and etc. Asha takes the comparison to him as a compliment, even though Stannis meant it as an insult. It can never be an insult to Asha to be compared to her brother. This is precisely what Theon's always sought - love and respect, and she gives it to him.
Asha is a deeply loving person, for all her harshness and ironborn-isms, and she's conistenly motivated by it (love for her people, her mother, Theon). Similarly, Theon is also motivated by love - after all, he's never really stopped seeking it.
And that is where the uniqueness of their relationship lies, even among the Greyjoys. Their disadvantages and circumstances have prevented their relationship from being completely swallowed up by the toxicity of their family and culture (as opposed to their uncles).
5. Sansa/Theon
Maybe it would come as a surprise, but I've never watched the show, and I still like Theonsa.
I saw a post once comparing Theon-Robb-Sansa to Robert-Ned-Lyanna and while it's funny, my interest did start with a Theon POV line about how marrying Sansa would make him a part of the family
I like the idea of book!Theonsa with post-Reek Theon specifically. Tbh, I don't really have legitimate reasons to like this ship aside from them both being one of my favs. I specified post-Reek Theon because I dislike the ships where Sansa is forced to be a redemptory figure for an asshole character (hateee SanSan with my whole being).
I like their hypothetical dynamic, and the first time I started thinking about them as a ship was after reading this passage:
Sansa was the pretty one. He remembered a time when he had thought that Lord Eddard Stark might marry him to Sansa and claim him for a son, but that had only been a child's fancy. - ADWD, Reek I
Specifically the "child's fancy" line. It reminded me so much of Sanss's dreams of knights and true love, which then lead me to find more parallels between their arcs. They've both known what it's like to be hostages (and not being prioritized at that), both have been seen as traitors to their captors and their families, both have grappled with reclaiming of their identity, and both are getting closer to becoming their own "hero".
The idea of Theon's childish dream coming true in a very different way than he initially expected appeals to me. Because at its core, it's Theon yearning for acceptance and love. However, it is crucial that it happens post-Reek because Sansa doesn't want to be married for her name and Winterfell, she wants to be loved for herself.
In my opinion, they could potentially get along even with their personailities. Their POVs share similarities at times, like these iconic comparisons, lmao:
His lips were soft and warm as the worms you found after a rain and his eyes were vain and cruel - Sansa VI, AGOT
His lips look like two worms fucking. - Theon IV, ACOK
Or, in contrast, these heartbreaking lines:
There are no heroes…in life, the monsters win. - AGOT, Sansa VI
There are no heroes here, only whores. - ADWD, Theon I
Plus, I like the juxtaposition of these quotes against each other:
He had touched her cheek, his thumb lightly tracing the line of a cheekbone. "Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow." - AGOT, Sansa III
"We flew. Let Abel make a song of that, we flew." - TWOW, Theon I
6. Patrek Mallister/Theon
Ah, yes, Patrek Mallister...one of my favorite glup shittos of ASOIAF <3 Now we've officially reached the rarepair/crackship territory (2 of my fav things lol).
In case you don't remember, he was one of the members of Robb's personal guard in the Whispering Wood.
In ACOK, Theon helps the Mallisters bring their prisoners from Riberrun to Seagard. Patrek gets along with him so good that Jason Mallister has to remind Patrek about their bloody history with the Ironborn and that Seagard itself was built to defend the coast against the reavers.
Patrek evidently doesn't really give a shit and proceeds to share wine and the miller's wife with Theon the next day. such a fun character, lol, matches Theon's freak too. They're the real Romeo and Juliet of asoiaf (Romeo and Juliet if they didn't give a fuck lmao).
While I am convinced it was a threesome, something tells me that the miller's wife felt quite neglected that night... It was probably like that scene in the Challengers where Patrick and Art make out and Tashi watches. Just more sexually explicit and awkward for the miller's wife, lmao.
Lord Jason had slain Rodrik Greyjoy under the walls of the castle, and thrown the ironmen back into the bay. “If your father supposes I bear him some enmity for that, it’s only because he never knew Rodrik.” They had a laugh over that as they raced ahead to an amorous young miller’s wife that Patrek knew. Would that Patrek were with me now. Mallister or no, he was a more amiable riding companion than this sour old priest that his uncle Aeron had turned into. - ACOK, Theon I
7. Cersei/Theon
This one is just funny as fuck, I am not gonna lie. It's all a "what-if" based on Tywin's brief idea to marry Cersei to Theon.
Imagine how funny their scheming would be. Though she'd find him entertaining at first, he'd annoying to her so fast. He himself would 100% be into it. Rodrick Heffley/Regina George vibes.
8. Ramsay/Theon
To be honest, I am not really into Thramsay because I am a fake freak and it all is just too much for me. Plus Ramsay's fugly.
However, I also can't just not mention it, it feels wrong, Thramsay's cultural impact is too great for that. I respect the reekification and the role it plays in Theon's arc, and I do think that Ramsay was very homosexual with it in canon itself. So yeah, this is me giving Thramsay their flowers.
