#jonginxmi

@jonginxmi

TW: Guns

it was the same old thing. someone owed someone else or someone wanted information and didn’t want to go through legal matters to get it. youngjae had heard it all, he’d done it all, and this time was just no different from the last hundred. 

this time it was information. some guy knew something he shouldn’t and youngjae was sent to get what he knew. it should be an easy job, he reasoned. the guy he was going after could hardly be called high risk and his home was pretty easy to break into (and he knew this because he already had broken in as a practice run earlier that afternoon while the guy was out). now, the sun had set, the moon was hanging low in the sky and it was all things go. 

using the same route as before, it was little bother to climb up a drainpipe around the back of the building and break in through a window there. landing softly on the other side, he instantly felt as though something was off. frowning a little, youngjae reached around, pulling out his gun and holding it up as he started to talk through the house. the upstairs was clear, which was strange, and that’s when he heard movement downstairs. 

@jonginxmi

She had finally gotten her hands on her phone once again, and it was time to reach back. She hadn’t seen Jongin since the accident, (two days were oddly long considering she had practically lived at the lab for over a month now). But she knew he had dropped by the hospital on both days; the chocolate milk bottles he had left for her were quite the comforting treats, she must admit. (But why didn’t he stick around? it wasn’t like he understood the concept of private space when it came to her to begin with, not with how he crashed nearly every site she was on, heck, he even invaded and occupied her precious couch in her office. So why was this any different? Why did he feel the need to keep his distance this time?)

But anyway, he had left her multiple missed calls too, and it was finally time to respond.

( winter sentence starters ) // no longer accepting 

possibly au // @jonginxmi

Headcanon Meme || Still Accepting

12) The last time you felt broken?

“When I was a kid maybe?” he says, “I don’t let myself feel that way anymore. It’s a waste of time." 

(He’s a liar. He is a broken person, period, so it’s kind of a constant feeling. That being said, he may be right that he doesn’t let himself really feel it or focus on it. He focuses on work, and distracts himself when he’s home.)

21) What was the last thing that made you laugh?

"I stopped by a pet store and watched two kittens play fight the other day, and I keep just…remembering it and…what? Cats are cute, fuck off.”

(Kitties are the only thing that he won’t pretend to be all macho about)

26) Who did you last call?

“Probably my sup- um… my classmate? I missed my history class the other day and needed the notes." 

( Headcanon meme ) — accepting!

4. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

"I would play dumb and go with a “I always hang out with the people I like” but I have a feeling this is one of those crush questions, isn’t it?” there’s a soft sigh that leaves her, lips twisting to the side in thought. “But the answer is no, I haven’t recently.”

10. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

"I know I won’t always be static—I never really have been to begin with. I hope I’ll be at least a little more wise in 3 months, but who really knows what will change. It’s expected either way, no matter the length of time.”

30. Who was the last person to call you?

"The last call I received was an unknown number, so I don’t really know who the person was. Other than that, the last phone call I can remember would probably be Sukjin. I wasn’t able to answer at the time, though.”

48. Are you patient?

7. How many people do you fully trust?

Perhaps three or so.

15. Are you happy?

I’d say yes. Why wouldn’t I be?

[m/n: there are plenty of reasons, but it’s not like she’ll acknowledge them!]

23. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

That’s very situation dependant. I don’t think a general answer can be given, though I do believe that yes, in most cases, yes, people do deserve second chances. Some actions are absolutely unforgivable, and that’s true, but I think people tend to be too hopeless too early... and lacking hope in being worthy of a second chance can lead a person down a very dark path that could be, in a lot of cases, avoidable.

32. Do you dance in the car?

Headcanon Meme || Accepting 

9. Are you dating the last person you kissed?“Oh wow, fuck no. Never. Not only does his mouth smell and taste like a dumpster, he’s got rocks for a brains. The only thing he’s got going for him is his face and body, but I’ve seen plenty of pretty faces – he’s nothing special.”→ context here

26. Who did you last call?“Probably a friend. Or a colleague. I don’t usually call people unless necessary. I’m not good with phone conversations.”

jongin and jeongguk end up sitting next to each other at the same bar, and as often happens, small talk ensues between assumed strangers over late night alcohol.

▓█ au? (or canon in universe; you decide) ▬▬▬▬ present day  ▬▬▬▬ potential starter

protocol tilts the bottle back again, swallowing a hefty sip of soju, and he gives the stranger a pointed side-ways glance, clearly unimpressed and indicating that his opinion is unwanted.

he sets the bottle down then, dramatically-- like the gesture is meaningful, and pauses in the same manner.

coping. is that what this is? maybe. is coping a simile for surviving? then again, this isn’t that; it’s more like passing the time, or so he likes to think.

reality: there is nothing as deafening as static on the other end of a communication line paired with a muffled gunshot. he has learned the sound of an ally falling on a mission: this, and then the crinkle of a microphone against fabric, then the static.

sometimes he sees it through the black and white blur of a security camera he’s looped with footage of an empty alley so the authorities never find out what happened there.  it’s always distant for him, like an alternate reality through a screen, but he still counts it as a loss.

it is a loss of life, yes, but he doesn’t feel it like that. he feels it like a game: lack of victory. game over-- the unacceptable result.

but in the recesses of his mind, he feel guilty-- responsibility, because protocol is the brain behind vanguard. if not that, he’s at least part, like the cerebrum. every loss of vanguard’s is blood on his hands, though he’s never on the front lines. he feeds them information and strategy, so if they lose, it’s on him. (so he always blames it on someone else.)

he knows, too, that each member of vanguard is connected to someone else: families and loved ones, other people that feel their loss for him when they die. they are all people that ended up here for their own reasons, with their own dreams, and they all deserve to live.

but protocol doesn’t allow himself to feel anything that doesn’t bring him closer to a win at the end of the day. so to him, they are numbers.