He picked his way through his friends to your side, casting you a somewhat curious stare when you didn’t explode into angry yelling but turned and left the room silently. Tears welled in your eyes as you made your way for the front door, barely hearing his footsteps pattering after you, nor his concerned call until your hand was on the door handle and his was clasping over it, preventing you from opening the door. “Y/n?” For someone who danced intense and physically demanding choreographies everyday, he sounded quite out of breath from a short run from one end of the hall to the other. You closed your eyes tightly, willing away the tell tale shine of tears in your eyes and telling yourself to pull it together. You were monumentally over reacting, he’d likely just been trying to joke around and you’d let it get to you unnecessarily. You knew that… And yet your heart still hurt at the very idea that he would dread seeing you enough to actually hide. “Hey, look at me.” He said quietly, tugging gently but forcibly at your hand until you turned to look at him. You knew instantly by the crestfallen look on his handsome face that you’d failed at not wearing your feelings on your face. “I’m sorry, I was just kidding, you know that right?” He sighed, reaching out to place his hand against your cheek for a moment. Your lips puckered in a half pout half grimace as you struggled desperately to contain the oncoming flow of tears. You didn’t want to be the kind of girlfriend that cried over something stupid, nor did you want to be the girlfriend who needed constant reassurance. That was a quick way to ruin a relationship and dissolve any trust between you. But it had been a long week and you had just wanted to come and see your boyfriend for some comfort. With little warning the dam broke and tears began to flow down your cheeks in twin rivers, little sniffles escaping you.  The harder you tried to stop them, the more hiccups built up in the back of your throat as Jongho stared at you helplessly, unsure of what to do to help you. “Y/n.” He said, folding you into his embrace and resting his cheek against your forehead, murmuring soft words of comfort into your ear. “I’m sorry.” You finally managed to gasp out when you were in better control of your emotions, trying to pull yourself away from him. But he held fast, arms far too strong for you to even bother attempting again to seperate yourselves; if he wanted to hold you then you weren’t going anywhere. “You don’t need to apologise, I do.” He sighed, letting you free of his arms but keeping one hand on your right shoulder while his other lifted to cup your face, thumb swiping away the drying trail of tears on your cheeks. You’d never seen him look so heartbroken. You hated it. “You did nothing wrong, Jongho.” You rushed to tell him, needing desperately to explain to him but not knowing how. How could you explain the things going on inside your head without scaring him off? He watched you, an understanding in his gaze that very nearly had you in tears again, your heart thumping unevenly in your chest. “I shouldn’t have hidden from you.” “You were just kidding around.” “I was, but it still upset you.” You sighed softly, this could go on for hours, you were pretty sure both of you could easily continue to find things to blame on yourselves, but that wouldn’t make things any better. “You mean the world to me, you know that right?” He said softly, holding your eyes with his in a way that both made you want to melt and cower at the same time. Everything about Choi Jongho exuded power and stability, whereas you always seemed to manage to look tiny and insignificant in any situation. You bit hard on your lip, hoping that would stop it from trembling. When you didn’t reply to him his thumb stilled its swiping motion against your cheek, his eyebrows furrowing a little. “Will you come with me?” He asked suddenly, dropping his hand from your face cautiously, as if by letting you go you would simply crumble at his feet. Determined to prove that fear wrong you jutted your jaw out, very nearly smashing your head into his. “Where?” Any facade you might have momentarily built about being the strong one disappeared when you spoke in a weak voice that shoot around every syllable. Jongho simply smiled, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you along behind him as he tracked his way back down to the room that you’d walked into earlier, where all his band mates were waiting with barely concealed curiosity in exactly the places they’d been sitting earlier. “Hongjoong,” Jongho spun to face his leader, subsequently bringing you further into the room, earning a toothy grin from Mingi when you grimaced at being forced into the very small space left in the centre for your body. Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, nodding at Jongho, as if a whole conversation had passed between them while you were distracted by Wooyoung muttering something into San’s ear. You were pretty sure that neither Jongho or Hongjoong had actually spoken to each other though and your confusion reached new heights when Hongjoong leapt nimbly to his feet and exited the room, gesturing both you and Jongho after him. The sounds of the member’s talking in quiet voices followed all three of you for a few moments before you were being pulled into a whole new part of the dorms that you’d either never been in or just never noticed existed before now. The closest thing it was comparable to was a small studio, the walls lined with foam that you figured would have something to do with keeping the sound in, and a mic hung over Hongjoong’s infamous laptop which was open, as per usual, on his music app. “Sit.” Hongjoong said to you sternly, pointing at a row of chairs on the far side of the room. You threw Jongho a confused look when his fingers untangled from yours and he moved towards Hongjoong, giving you a soft nod. “Y/n, sit.” Hongjoong repeated, less stern this time, his eyes softening when your gaze followed your boyfriend’s figure. “I’m going to explain what’s going on to you in a second but you should be sitting when you hear it.” His words sent a shiver of worry through you and before you knew it you were stumbling back onto the edge of one of the seats, fingers clasped over the edge of it where your legs weren’t, feet crossed below you. Your knee bounced to an imaginary beat and you were pretty sure that sweat was beginning to bead on the back of your neck. “Calm down.” Jongho murmured from beside Hongjoong, his eyes darting between your bouncing leg and your tight facial expression. His hand lifted to his chest, resting above his heart, the light above him twinkling like stars in the glassy reflection of his eyes. It was something he’d started doing for you when you first met him, before you were ever anything more than just the water girl at Ateez’s first photoshoot, coincidentally that had also been your first photoshoot. Throughout the day he’d watched you, picking up on your nervous ticks. And somehow he’d known even then that the sound of a heartbeat, whether yours or someone else’s, would calm you down. So mid photoshoot, right on the brink of your oncoming panic attack, he’d lifted his hand and pressed it to his chest, dark eyes grabbing yours captive until the panic seeped out of you. It had stuck, somehow seeing him touch his heart was as calming to you now as it had been the first time. Your breathing evened out and your leg slowed it’s irritable pace. Hongjoong watched you both through narrowed eyes until he felt that you were calm enough to hear his next words. He nodded once at Jongho then reached behind him and touched a few keys on his laptop, sending a soothingly beautiful melody from the speakers that were positioned just perfectly above the row of seats to completely encase you in the sounds. “Jongho came to me about two months ago,” Hongjoong started, wandering over to sit down beside you, glancing over to make sure you were still listening to him. Your eyes were fixed on Jongho, who was smiling, the tips of his ears slightly red. “because he wanted help finding a way to tell you how he felt about you.” Your mouth dropped open slightly, your neck twisting harshly to take your eyes to Hongjoong’s face. He gave you an amused smile, tilting his head a little. “He wanted to do something that he could have complete input in, that he could tell you in a way that perfectly matched who he is.” You looked back over at Jongho, who was rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes now on the ceiling as if suddenly realising his situation. His ears continued to redden while his cheeks paled somewhat, drawing a short giggle from you. “He’s not the best at words,” Hongjoong chuckled, earning a brief glare from his maknae. “but most of what you’re about to hear was entirely Jongho’s words. I just rearranged them and plucked around with a few things. He even helped me create the melody.” Pride surged in your chest, filling your eyes with a fresh bout of tears. This time though, they were happy ones. Jongho opened his mouth and began to sing, his voice, as strong as the rest of him, flowing like molten honey into your ears. Your heart had never felt so full and happy as it did now. By the time Jongho was done, his chest rising and falling a little from his long notes, Hongjoong’s presence had disappeared from beside you, the door shutting firmly behind him. “Jongho.” You whispered, standing immediately and dashing to him. He opened his arms, folding you against him, his face nuzzling into your neck. “Y/n, I really hope you..” He took a deep breath, his arms tightening a little around your body. “understood what I was trying to tell you.” You smiled into his chest, leaning back to look up at him. You weren’t at all prepared for the look of pure adoration in his dark eyes, or the soft smile on his lips that you’d never seen on him before, a smile that seemed to somehow light up every single feature on his face. You weren’t prepared for the way the sight made your heart falter and stutter in your chest or the way your breath caught in your throat. But you meant the words that flowed effortlessly out of your lips, curved up in a smile that matched his. “I love you too.”