#jonay 1

during the speeches shared across freshly turned dirt, ren had been battling with his own gaze. the grief and reason for even being there, was the casket he watched lower down, down, down. and yet he kept looking across where someone else stood. every so often, his brown eyes would lift and catch with jonay's, just like they used to, and like before, his chest would hollow. his heart would thump, just before it fell. guilt.

the guilt was the reason he kept looking away, never having vanished in the last few years, let alone the last few days. ren liked the idea of staying apart for now, june's grave between them. and yet when the time came to place roses atop the coffin, the one, ren, found himself in front of the other, jonay. and his throat thickened. he was always someone with something to say but holding that rose and placing it down, it wasn't until after, until several steps back that he could wet his lips and look at jonay properly. "she deserved fucking better." a blanket statement for sure, but ultimately hitting that main nail on the head.