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I’ll be talking about games with Edie Fake, John Pham, and Sofía Córdova at IndieCade this Friday for the “Channeling Games” panel. Oct. 23rd 3pm 9300 Culver Blvd. Culver City
So.. I have a John curse.
In July, i dated this guy named John Pham. He was my first Asian. ^.^ lol. It was long-distance. We lasted a week.. I fell really hard in the beginning and he gave up on us. Everyone warned me about this. Now we don't contact each other at all. And we're back to strangers again. I don't blame him.
On the day he broke up with me, John Burton added me on fb after meeting me at a party. We talked for a bit. But I told him I didn't want to "talk" because of all the bad things I've heard about him and his history with girls.
Then there's Jonathan. Basically, we like each other. We don't say it, but we both know something's going on. And now I'm meeting all these new John's and askdlfjsad;
is this a sign telling me that im meant to marry a John or
John this,
John that,
JOHN EVERYWHERE.
OMG. STOP NAMING YOUR CHILDREN JOHN. I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
I’ll never be yours again, just like you’ll never be mine. We have to stop lying to ourselves. I’m too selfish when it comes to you, and you seem to be happier without me. It’s hard to believe anything people say these days, and I remember when you were all I ever wanted. I think back to the times we shared, when you were my entire world and I was completely devoted to you. I miss that, I’m not going to lie. But sometimes you have to let things go. Every time I begin to talk to you again, something always gets in the way, and I don’t know, but maybe that’s trying to tell us something. In my heart I’m always, I mean it, always going to feel this way for you. You can’t just get rid of the person you fell for and act like you never knew them. Maybe things would be different if our relationship didn’t end the way it did. I had never experienced such a hurtful heartbreak until I you came. And my god I never want to again. That’s why I’m so scared to give myself to anyone else, and I know it’s not healthy. I want to be happy again, like I was with you, but I fear I’ll never get that feeling back again. I don’t really know what to say anymore. I’m so monotone with my feelings lately.

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What happened to you and John? Do you miss him?
We broke up, lol.
I don't miss him so much anymore, thanks to the fact that he doesn't even talk to me. :c It's so awkward now, lol.
I'm so glad he hasn't talked to me. It would probably change a lot if he did. I would still feel as if we were still together, except with the fact that we weren't labeled as a couple. That's the only thing that would change. But I'm not going to complain over a week-long relationship. He's gone his separate way, and so am I. He crosses my mind every once and a while, but it's okay. He'll find someone who could be in a physical relationship with him and treat him better than I ever did.
What did I do wrong?
I swear you were everything I wanted. adlskafas;f.
I would apologize, but first I would need a reason for that.
Fuck it. Why can't guys just be simple?
A punch right to the fucking heart.