#johncules

“Stop pouting.”, Herc says after some time, with a smile on his face.

He is pulling on John´s arm until he has managed to slip his hand out of the pocket of his coat. Hercules intertwines their fingers, pressing a quick and cold kiss to John´s cheek.

“Isn´t this beautiful?”, he asks, and John mumbles something into his scarf. “Hm?”

“Yeah, it is, but so is hot chocolate.”, John gives back, but he can´t help but smile a bit.

“I´ll make you your hot chocolate as soon as we are home, but we have something planned before that.”

John raises his eyebrows in question.

“What do you have planned?”

Hercules hums. “You´ll see, but you´ll like it.”

John frowns at the cryptic answer, but follows Herc deeper into the forest, nonetheless.

“This´ll do.”, Herc says after some time, stopping in front of a fir-tree, that´s a bit taller than John.

“If you want to fuck me against a tree again, I´ll have to sadly inform you that I am far too cold to-“, John starts, but Herc just shakes his head, laughing softly.

“No, no. I have something different planned.”

He puts the backpack down in the snow and takes something out of it, that John doesn’t recognize at first, but then he sees that it´s an axe.

“Please tell me, you´re not gonna kill me now.”, John says.

He sees Hercules roll his eyes at him, shaking his head.

“You are ridiculous.”, Hercules tells him. “We´re stealing a Christmas tree.”

John just looks dumbstruck at his boyfriend for a moment.

“I´m sorry what?”

“We´re stealing a Christmas tree.”, Hercules repeats. “Come, help me, instead of just standing around looking pretty.”

John is sure he would blush, wouldn´t his face already be red from the cold.

“Herc, we can´t just steal a tree!”, John whisper-shouts, looking around as if he excepts someone to jump out from behind a tree, catching them.

“Don´t be a coward, of course we can.”

“What if we someone sees us?!”

“The only one who will see us is little baby Jesus and we´re doing that for him, so he won´t tell anyone.”

John crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I´m not helping you.”

Hercules turns back around to him and drops the axe, walking over to John. He places his hands on the smaller man´s hips and leans down to kiss him.

“C´mon, baby, it´s a Christmas tradition. Please.”

John feels his resolve weakening, as he looks up into the deep brown eyes of his boyfriend.

“God, I hate you.”, John mutters, and Herc breaks out into a grin.

“You are the best!”, he says, pressing another kiss to John´s lips.

“And you are the worst, we make a great team.”, John replies, fighting not to smile back.

He steps out of the embrace, walking over to the tree.

“So, how are we gonna do that?”, he asks, looking sceptically back and forth between Herc and their tree.

Herc shrugs and picks up the axe again.

“We´ll just cut it down and then carry it back home.”

“That is a good plan, very thought through.”, John replies, his voice full of sarcasm.

Herc lets out a huff and regards the tree for a moment, before he swings the axe at the tree. The crack of the bark breaks through the quiet of the forest like a gunshot and John hides his face behind his hands.

“Oh god, we´re gonna spend Christmas in an arrest cell.”, he mutters, before removing his hands again and taking a tentative step towards his boyfriend.

He is freezing and really hopes Hercules will be done soon.

“Are you sure-?”

“Yes.”, Herc replies, swinging the axe again.

John lets out a sigh as he watches Herc fell the tree, while he wraps the scarf tighter around his neck, stepping from one foot onto the other, to keep himself at least a little warm. He has to admit that Herc looks very hot doing it, and actually seems to know what he is doing, but there is still an unease inside of him, that he can´t quite shake off.

After what feels like hours, the tree is laying in the snow and Herc is packing away the axe, while John walks around the tree, looking sceptically at it.

“And how will we get it home?”

“We´ll carry it.”, Hercules answers, as if walking around, carrying a tree you´ve just stolen, is something people normally do.

“Herc, I love you, but I really don´t want to spend Christmas in jail. Not even with you.”

The older man stands back up and walks over to John, cupping his face.

“Trust me, baby, we won´t.”

John just frowns more.

“How can you be so sure? What if someone sees us and calls the cops?”

Herc laughs quietly and shakes his head.

“You are no fun, you know that?”, he asks, and John is about to protest, but Herc is already pressing a kiss to his lips, before continuing. “I talked with the guy who owns this forest and he said I can have a tree.”

John still looks at him suspiciously and Herc rolls his eyes.

“Would I ever lie to you?”

“About something like that? Totally.”, John gives back without hesitation.

“Oh, come on!”

“Okay, fine, you wouldn´t. I still don´t trust you.”

Herc lets out a deep sigh, steps back from John and picks up the backpack again, before he turns around to his boyfriend.

“Can I bribe you with hot chocolate and sex?”, Hercules asks, and John pretends to think about it for a moment, but he is cold, and those two things sound fantastic, so he nods.

“If you´ll do a good job.”, he mutters, and Herc laughs softly.

“Of course I will.”

John just hums and walks over to the tree, his arms now wrapped around his body.

“Are you cold?”, Herc asks softly.

John thinks about making a sarcastic comment, but in the end, he just nods, whispering a quiet “yeah.”. Herc opens his arms and gives him a smile, and after a second John walks over, cuddling against his boyfriend.

“We´ll be home in no time.”, Herc says quietly. “I´ll make you hot chocolate and we´ll take a bath and you´ll forget the cold, how does that sound?”

“Sounds great.”, John mumbles.

He feels Herc press a kiss to his forehead and John reluctantly steps back, grabbing the tree.

“Let´s go then.”

The walk home takes far longer than the way into the forest and John thinks he will never be able to use his fingers again, but whenever he looks back at Hercules, he can see how happy the other man is and that makes all of this worth it. Miraculously, they don´t see anyone else on their way back to their house and John knows exactly that Hercules will tease him for it, but he doesn´t even care. All he can think about is to get inside, where he will finally be warm again. They lean the tree against the back of their house and then they are finally out of the cold. John hasn´t even managed to slip out of his coat, before Herc wraps his arms around him.

“You look so beautiful.”, he tells him, and John can´t help but drop his gaze to the floor and hide his face in Herc´s sweater. “Go lay down on the couch and I´ll get the bath ready.”

John nods and walks over to the couch, just as he´s told, shedding his coat and jeans on the way there. He wraps one of their blankets around his body and curls into a ball. There is a sudden exhaustion inside of him and he feels himself slipping off to sleep, when Herc nudges his shoulder.

“Wake up, baby, the bath is ready.”

John lets out a groan, but allows Herc to pull him to his feet and lead him to the bathroom. He smiles when he sees a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream waiting there for him, pressing a kiss to Herc´s shoulder.

“You are the best.”, he mumbles sleepily.

“I thought I am the worst?”, Herc gives back and John shrugs.

“You can be both, those aren´t mutually exclusive.”

He can basically feel Hercules rolling his eyes, even though he can´t see it. John quickly slips out of his clothes and steps into the bathtub, letting out a content sigh and closing his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again and looks up at Herc, he can see the other man watching at him with adoration.

“Won´t you join me?”, John asks, stretching tantalisingly.

Hercules crouches down beside him, raking his fingers through John´s hair.

“You´d like that?”, he asks, and John basically purrs, reaching up to pull Herc down to him, so that he can press a kiss to his lips.

“Yes.”

Herc hums and starts undressing, and John can´t keep his eyes off him.

“You wanted hot chocolate and now you´re not even drinking it.”, Hercules chides him.

John tears his eyes away from his boyfriend and grabs the mug, taking a sip. It tastes great, just like Hercules had promised him, and he can´t help but smile. When Herc finally gets into the bathtub with him, he leans forward, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Hello there.”, John says, smiling at his boyfriend.

“You taste like chocolate.”, Herc mumbles, and John laughs.

“Well, that´s your fault.”

“I´m not complaining.”