#johariswindow

Take a reality check. Journal if it helps get your fears, concerns, & anxieties out on paper. Talk with someone you trust for neutral feedback. Sometimes just saying it aloud helps us articulate what we’re actually afraid of.

Sometimes the facts don’t add the way we like to think they do. Don’t get stuck in your own head. There’s a fine line between assumptive thinking and overthinking.

Notice how you constantly look for hidden meanings based on physical or social cues from others. Do you sense the urge to adjust your own feelings & presence to prevent or defuse hostility from others?

Doubt can be destructive. It can isolate you from asking for help. Put more effort into building trust instead of questioning it.

Ask others where they stand. Communicate mutual expectations, boundaries, and obligations or commitments in your relationships. Create guidelines and agreements where possible.

Ease the stress on your body. Be wary of how physical anticipation affects your physical well-being.

Avoid excessive comparisons of words and actions.

Notice when thinking replaces feeling.

Relational maintenance is a two way street. Don’t withdraw from relationships when you feel abandoned. Learn to question your projection of abandonment onto others.

Acknowledge your need for approval from authority. When our mind and body are out of sync we tend to confuse what our intuition is trying to tell us. A gut feeling can quickly become self-doubt if left unaddressed.

Learn to be open about your concerns with yourself without exhausting your resources. Spend less time anticipating and seeking approval from authority. Instead, communicate your needs for clarification, direction, and reassurance.

Clarify the difference between appraisal or appreciation and reassurance. Most people are unaware of your skepticism towards being appraised or highly regarded.

Don’t self-sabotage your achievements and success. Notice how visibility of your efforts and inclusiveness leads you to doubt yourself. Question why being a role model or taking a leadership position scares you. Are you afraid of becoming your own worst enemy?

Don't dwell or ruminate. Do you find that negative memories are more readily available than positive ones? Find a balance. Not everything is as dark as you might 'remember'.

Recognize the tendency to relive negative memories.

Notice how often and ready you are to question, challenge, or resist authority.

Recognize any sense of loss growing up. This could be death, abandonment, betrayal, or some form heartbreak that caused grief.

Avoid excessive self oriented behavior when experiencing any extreme shift in mood. Try shifting focus on what is important to someone else. Rather than getting lost in yourself.

Address any unfinished business or forms of self-sabotage. Work towards finishing a project. Create a final product even if you're not completely satisfied with it.

Acknowledge how and why you feel victimized. Being able to admit that you may intentionally reject what is available to you.

Find qualities within yourself that are favored by others. Take a moment to notice how often you envy others compared to you're own unique characteristics.

Break any self-sabotaging patterns of pushing your emotional baggage onto others.

Learn to appraise feelings of sadness such as remorse, regret, heartbreak as normal. That our moods are constantly shifting and are not permanent. Avoid getting stuck in a defeatist attitude or trying to create false happiness.

Be communicative. Let others know how you respond to intimacy. Discuss & specify expectations. Ask others for consistency even during outbursts. Remind them that a steady presence is reassuring due to fear or anxiety of abandonment.

Learn to admire your intuitive ability to empathize with other's pain, but also learn to detach your attention. Their pain is not your own, & vice versa.

Take notice when your attention drifts from the present situation. Explore your selective attention. Keep track of how often you focus on negative aspects of a current situation.

Diversify your interests and relationships as safeguards for intervention in depressive episodes. Do not rely solely on one person or one thing for your happiness. This will lead to your downfall.

Kai M. Green & Marquis Bey

Lust: Testosterone

Romantic Love: Dopamine, Norepinephrine, & Low levels of Serotonin

Value of maturity, patience, & age. Let go of vanity and "optimistic escapism".

Recognize entitlement and seeking special treatement

Be open and willing to confront problems. Avoiding your problems won't make them go away.

Notice your tendency to overbook yourself with distractions. Do you find yourself over scheduling? Frequently changing plans or projects? Take note of your hyper activity as an excuse to avoid your problems.

Instead, avoid substituting the abstract idea or projection of what you think is painful or uncomfortable, with actually experiencing it firsthand.

Admit to your desire of superficiality and maintaining a "go with the flow" attitude, and how you prioritize fun and pleasure over meaningful relationships and commitments.

Acknowledge the limitations of living life on the surface without depth of experience.

Prematurely responding with your emotions is not the same as genuinely experiencing those emotions.

Address your anxieties with commitment. Not just to others, but also your fear of committing to yourself. Change the way you consider yourself responsible, and compare that to actual responsibility. Notice your rejection of responsibility.

Learn to ground yourself when feeling overwhelmed by anxiety of tragedy or struggle.

There's difference between constructive criticism and excessive criticism.

Acknowledge your habits of gloating to feel superior when feeling defensive or challenged by yourself or others.

Be open and willing to work through frustration when inflated self ego and self-worth or questions. Be wary of your tendency to paint people in black and white, as good or bad when feeling uncomfortable or hurt.

Recognize intentional efforts to charm your way in or out of a situation. Needing to preserve the spontaneity, niceness, or light-hearted atmosphere. Notice your tendency to always make things feel "right" or okay.

Do you tend to lie or use abstract analogies to avoid the pain? As natural entertainer, it's important to be truthful with yourself when you try to intellectualize emotions with metaphors, or fabricate an elaborate lie.

Acknowledge how you substitute reality with fantasy. Notice how you shift your focus from physical experience to mental imagery. Instead, use that imagination to think outside the box and think up productive solutions.

Practice participating in the present moment. Develop an awareness for your habitual use of "mood elevators", desiring sensory driven experiences, & romanticism.

-Helen Palmer

Clarify your relationships where possible. Acknowledge your method of fighting others as a way of developing trust. Be upfront and communicative with others in your relationships about your suspicion and mistrust of others.

Set clear and mutual rules in any relationship. Recognize your desire to break the rules even when they're on your terms.

Anticipate how tension builds in your relationships until it spirals out of control. Acknowledge when you're tempted to challenge others as a way of testing their trustworthiness.

Be mindful how you paint things in black and white, and people as friend or foe.

Note your excessive bored demeanor. Question your need to mask your emotions by seeming 'bored' or disinterested.

Acknowledge that just because other's opinions don't support yours doesn't mean they aren't valid or consistent. A different point of view other than your own doesn't equate to an inconsistent argument.

True feelings may feel uncomfortable at times. Rewire that defeatist attitude when it comes to measuring satisfaction and content with progress. It's not always going to feel like sunshine and daisies. Progress is possible through getting in tune with your deep-rooted emotions.

Notice your desire for overindulgence in excessive socializing, drinking, smoking, shopping, teetering the fine line between substance use and abuse, and most importantly your need to maintain control over others.

Take note of your preoccupation with justice and protection of others. Question whether this polarized way of binary thinking of others as friends or enemies is helpful or hurtful.

Shift your attention away from a "my way or the highway" attitude. Recognize the spectrum of well-informed opinions inbetween.

Practice journaling. Utilize insight as a way to combat denial and forgetfulness. If you're unsure about something write it down. Sometimes being able to articulate what were thinking help us see it from a separate point of view.

Be more reflective than impulsive. It can be tempting to be responsive or reactive physically or emotionally. It's easier said than done, but try to question yourself when you feel threatened, or the need to be defensive. As someone who is more concerned with character than reputation. Use any face threat as an opportunity to build your own character rather than question someone else's.

Hold yourself accountable. Notice how you distance yourself from conflict or responsibility when things go south.