I think I left in what? 2018? here it is 2021 (the end of it really) and I am returning back to a place I used to hide and truly be myself. I love how no one cares about tumblr except those that care about tumblr. I true community of nothing and no one to dm your thoughts and gossip about what you posted. this will be so much fun and when it is exposed one day it will be even better lol. I am so glad to be back home. this is about to be fun.

Contentment in love usually goes unquestioned. Still, I don't think enduring love is rational any more than momentary flings. I have been married to the same man for fifteen years, and I can't explain why he still attracts me as an erotic object. He does, but why? Shouldn't it all be worn out by now? It is not because we are so close or know each other so well. That solidifies our friendship, not our attraction. The attraction remains because there's something about him that I can't reach, something strange and estranging. I like seeing him from a distance. I know that. I like to see him in a room full of people when he looks like a stranger, and then to remember that I do know him and that I will be going home with him. But why he sometimes strikes me as a magical being, a person unlike others, I can't tell you. He has many good features, but so do other men who leave me cold as a stone. Have I given him this quality because it is efficient for me, or is it actually in him, some piece of him that I will never conquer and never know? It must be both. It must be between us-an enchanted space that is wholly unreasonable and, at least in part, imaginary. There is still a fence for me to cross and, on the other side of it, a secret. -Hustvedt, S. (2006)

> Give myself time to grieve my mother. (because I have buried myself in my work and goals to avoid my mind from thinking about it which is okay sometimes, but I need to allow myself to heal emotionally and not avoid it.)

https://www.facebook.com/sheryl/posts/10155617891025177:0)

wow. not my words - but my words. 11.27.2017