#jlingz

It had taken you a lot of courage to call Jesse and tell him about it. He of course freaked out and even started to yell at you at some point. So you see that’s why you were not really fond of the idea of being with him at the moment. He had been incredibly rude and you had cried all night after the phone call. Till he texted you that he wanted to make sure it was true before doing anything else and that he would pick you up at 5am to go to the hospital.

In your heart you knew that it was true. All the symptoms and this weird feeling you had the past four weeks finally making sense.

„So are you never gonna talk to me again?“ Jesse spoke up after a while, clutching onto the steering wheel as you sighed.

„What can I even say.“ you whispered, crossing your arms as you stare out the window „You already have made up your mind.“

„Made up my mind?“ Jesse chuckled before shaking his head „I’m sorry that I didn’t jump up an down in joy when you told me that I got my best friends sister fucking pregnant!“

You bit your lip, trying to resist the urge to cry again. Was this already hormones?

„Well, it isn’t my fault either Jesse!“ you now hissed back, looking at him from the side.

Jesse looked at you before sighing „I know it isn’t Y/n! Okay? I’m just fucked if this is really true.“

„What’s supposed to not be true? I have taken about twenty tests. I’m fucking pregnant Jesse!“ you yelled, completely fed up with his narcissistic behavior.

„And you are a hundred percent sure that it is mine?“ he now hissed and you could immediately tell he regretted it.

You chuckled, staring out the window again. Oh, were you pissed off by the guy.

„I honestly can’t believe you right now.“ you bit your lip, already feeling tears fill your eyes.

Jesse didn’t say anything, he just stared at the road as he questioned why he was such an idiot sometimes. The rest of the car ride was dead silent and neither of you said a word.

„So you are definetly pregnant.“ the doctor said as you were sitting on the hospital bed.

You could hear Jesse sigh in the corner as he nervously paced up and down the room.

„And ehm…“ the woman weakly smiled at you, probably feeling sorry that the father of your child was currently acting like his life had just ended „I’ll give you a call to make an appointment next week and we can do a first ultrasound check up and then and discuss everything else.“

You nodded, looking down at your hands as you fumbled with the hem of your shirt.

„I’ll give you two some time.“ the blonde woman now said before leaving the room. And with it leaving you behind with Jesse sitting on a chair in the corner and cursing under his breath.

„Fuck, fuck, fuck!“ the guy said, burying his face in his hands. The sight of it made you sad. He looked truly upset about this. He couldn’t even pretend to be happy that you were carrying his child for a second.

After you stayed in that room and Jesse didn’t talk to you or try to comfort you at all, you finally decided you had enough. You stood up from the bed before putting on your grey coat that was hanging at the door.

„I won’t tell Marcus.“ you said, your voice cold and emotionless.

„That you're pregnant?“ Jesse furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you confused.

„No, that it’s yours.“ you answered, grabbing your purse and scarf „I’ll say it was just some one night stand. It clearly didn’t mean anything to you…“

„What are you even talking about?“ Jesse sighed, thinking you were joking.

You looked back at him one last time before saying „I’m saying that you don’t have to be involved in the babys life. Okay? You’re free Jesse.“

With that you walked out the hospital room and as you made your way out the hospital, somewhere inside you kind of hoped he would follow you. But he didn’t.

But in my dreams I seem to be more honest

And I must admit, you’ve been in quite a few

„I wish you could come to the game with me tomorrow.“ Marcus sighed as he sat down next to you on the couch „But if you’re sick it’s probably a bad idea.“

It had been almost a week since you had last seen Jesse. You hadn’t told your brother you were pregnant yet, excusing the constant throwing up with the flu.

„Yeah, It’s probably not a good idea.“ you mumbled, crossing your arms as you stared onto the ground. The last week had been incredibly hard. You felt rubbish and there was no one there to support you or someone you could talk to.

„Are you okay?“ Marcus asked, sounding worried as he looked at you from the side „You seem sad latetly.“

You smiled weakly, your eyes probably giving you away „I’m fine. Don’t worry.“

As you awaited your doctors appointement a lot of questions ran through your mind. How where you ever gonna make this work? You were still studying and living with your brother. You had no job and you couldn’t actually afford a child by yourself.

You felt like you were gonna fail this child and maybe it was unfair to put someone into the world and offer them zero stabilty.

You also didn’t understand why you felt upset about not seeing Jesse. After all he had treated you like crap since finding out you were pregnant. So why on earth would you ever miss him? You kept having these weird dreams of the two of you and the baby as a family. It made you sad that subconsciously you obviously wanted him in your life.

Halley's Comet Comes around more than I do But you're all it takes for me to break a promise Silly me to fall in love with you

At least the nausea had gotten a little better. Just in time for your appointment on Thursday. You scrolled through your phone as you waited for the clock to hit four, so you could finally head to the doctors. All day you had been way to nervous to do anything as you paced through the house nervously. All the while your brother watched you confused and at some point even telling you to chill and sit down.

Then a couple hours later you were laying on the hospital bed as you awaited your doctor. When she finally came in you noticed she wasn’t alone.

„What are you doing here?“ you asked with furrowed eyebrows as you looked at the guy standing behind the doctor.

Jesse stood there completely dressed in his training attire, indicating that he had left training just to come to the hospital. He was out of breath and looked like he hadn’t slept in a while. He looked even worse than you who had been up sick all night last week. Jesse didn’t answer you, he just walked around the bed stopping by your head as your doctor started to do the ultrasound.

You looked up at him but his eyes were fixated on the screen. You felt the cold feeling of the ultrasound thing against your stomach as your doctor started to search for the baby. The room was silent only the sound of the machines could be heard.

„So I was right.“ the doctor smiled as she pointed at the screen „You are about six weeks pregnant and this is your baby.“

She pointed at the smallest looking thing on the screen. It was about the size of a ricecorn.

„It’s so tiny.“ you mumbled, making your doctor chuckle and nod „Yes it’s still very early.“

You then felt a hand grab yours and when you looked at it you saw that Jesse was holding your hand as he kneeled next to the bed. He looked at you with glassy eyes before looking at the screen again.

„That’s our baby.“ he then said and you felt yourself also tear up as he caressed your hand with his thumb.

For a moment the whole world and all your problems seemed to dissapear. It was just the three of you.

„And then I was thinking I want go get little baby adidas shoes.“ Jesse gushed as he drove down the streets, the biggest smile plastered on his face.

You chuckled as you stared at him from the side with furrowed eyebrows. He had been talking about everything he wanted to do for your baby since you two left the hospital. It was kind of confusing to you that he suddenly seemed to be head over heels about the pregnancy.

„Jesse?“ you spoke up and he raised his eyebrows as you sounded quite serious „Do you actually mean all of this?“

Next thing you knew Jesse pulled over, The cars passing honking he had abruptly done so. He turned off the car engine before turning to you. You looked at him and you had never seen him look that serious.

„Y/n… I…“ he stuttered, clearly nervous before grabbing your hands „I‘m so sorry for what I did last week. I‘ll forever regret reacting that way.“

You felt yourself tear up as you gave him a weak smile „It’s okay Jesse. I forgive you.“

„Good because I really want this baby.“ he whispered and you could tell he was also trying not to cry „I want it and I promise I’ll always take care of it.“

A tear rolled down Jesses cheek as you gently took your hand to wipe it off. Putting your hand on his face as you looked him in the eyes.

„Hope is gonna have a little sister or brother Jesse.“ you giggled, making him smile as he leaned in to place his lips onto yours.

It was different than the kisses you had shared previously. Normally it was just a sexual thing but this time it felt different. It was tender and soft. It was kind of like; love.

I haven't slept since Sunday Midnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you

The next few weeks your life seemed to have turned upside down. Your body was trying to get used to the fact that it was now the home of another person as you tried to balance online school and the constant nausea.

You had been basically living at Jesses house as he had wanted to be by your side if you needed anything. Telling Marcus you were staying at a girlfriends house as Jesse and you hadn’t yet figured out how you were gonna explain your brother that you were in fact pregnant.

It was almost the twelfth week of your pregnancy which is normally around the time that people tell their family and friends. But of course your situation was different.

So for now you were staying up all night watching Netflix as you couldn’t sleep very well due to feeling sick. You had watched each Tv show that even existed but it wasn’t all that bad. Because at least you had Jesse.

But my sleepless nights are better

With you than nights could ever be alone

You also felt this incredible connection to the thing growing inside of you. It was like you loved someone you didn’t even know yet. For the first time in your life you felt like you weren’t ever gonna be alone again.

All the aches and pains became worth it when you thought about the little one. Dreaming and wondering if it was gonna be a girl or boy. Imagining it’s whole life and how much it was gonna be loved by both Jesse and you. How Hope was gonna soon become a big sister.

It was about the fourteenth week of your pregnancy when you were awoken by a sharp pain in your stomach. Immediately getting worried you tried to call Jesse, who was already in training by that time.

Of course the call went straight to voicemail as you started to slightly panic. Googling your symptoms as all the worst case scenarios came up.

„Pick up. Please Pick up.“ you tried calling Jesse again as you started to get dressed, struggling to put on clothes as you felt like you were about to die because it hurt so much.

But the call didn’t go through again. You thought about what to do and you knew you couldn’t drive in this state, that was for sure. After contemplating you did the only thing that your motherly instinct told you to do.

You picked up your phone, dialed the number and held it to your ear. Just a few seconds later a voice apperaed at the other end of the line.

„Hey Y/N?“ your brothers voice appeared and you immediately got nervous „Everything alright?“

„Hey Marcus.“ you mumbled, trying not to start crying as you were incredibly scared „No everything's not fine actually. Listen I know this is gonna sound weird but I really need to talk to...Jesse.“

„What?“ Marcus asked and you could tell he was super confused. You could hear voices shout his name in the background before Jesses voice apperead.

„What’s up Marcus?“ Jesse asked and you could hear him and Marcus talk.

„It’s my sister.“ Marcus told his best friend and Jesse immediately started to panic „Is she alright?“

„No! She said she wants to talk to you, what the fuck is going on?“ Marcus hissed and next thing you knew Jesses voice appeared on the phone. He had probably ripped it out of Marcus hand.

„Y/n? Are you okay?“ Jesse asked worried, ignoring Marcus uporoar in the background.

„No, Jesse.“ you voice was shaky and you tried not to cry „I woke up and I have this weird pain in my stomach.“

„Fuck.“ Jesse cursed, as you could hear him start running „Okay just stay put Y/n okay? I’m gonna be home in like ten minutes alright?“

The next ten minutes felt like an eternity as you waited for Jesse to get home. You knew after this you would have to tell Marcus what was going on. You prayed for your baby to be alright as you waited in front of the door. The fresh air helping to manage the pain.

Then Jesses car pulled up and out stepped not only Jesse but also Marcus. Oh, fuck.

Your brother looked absoluetly pissed off. Had Jesse already told him?

„What the fuck is going on Y/N?“ your brother yelled as Jesse ran over to you. So he hadn't told him yet. Great.

„I’m sorry he insisted on coming with me.“ Jesse said out of breath as he grabbed your hands and when he saw your pale face he immediately looked worried again „Is it really bad?“

„Yes, it’s a little better now but I think we need to go tho the hospital.“ you whispered as your brother was currently standing a few feet away from you looking absolutely baffled at Jesse holding your hands.

„Okay let’s go get you in the car.“ Jesse tried to remain calm as he helped you walk to the car while Marcus kept asking the same question „What is happening?“

You rolled your eyes at your whining brother, dressed in his training attire as Jesse put you in the front seat.

„Yo, what the fuck is this Jesse?“ your brother went on and on as Jesse closed the car door. You saw he was trying to not flip at Marcus as this situation was already super stressful and Marcus constant nagging wasn’t helping.

„We need to go to the hospital.“ Jesse quietly said and Marcus immediately looked terrifed „Why is she sick?“

„No…“ Jesse mumbled and he looked down at his hands „Well not techincally.“

„Well, what is it then?“ Marcus hissed, feeling like he was losing his mind and no one was explaining shit to him „Why is my little sister at your damn house Jesse?“

„She…is…“ Jesse stuttered and you buried your face in your hands, knowing he was about to drop the big news as you watched the interaction from inside the car „She is pregnant.“

Marcus looked at you through the window in absolute shock. His eyes then fell on Jesse and it was like he put two and two together and finally understood what exactly had been going on behind his back.

„Wait a minute.“ Marcus hissed, shaking his head while looking at his best friend that was scratching his neck and looking at the floor in shame „You got my sister pregnant?“

Jesse didn’t dare to say anything he just slowly nodded as he looked his best friend in the eyes.

You looked at your brother, who looked like he felt deeply betrayed and how could you blame him. He had just found out that both his best friend and his sister had been lying to his face.

„I’m sorry we didn’t-“ Jesse tried to say something but he was cut off by a fist hitting his face. You gasped as Jesse covered his mouth with his hand.

„Ouch.“ Marcus whined, shaking out his hand while Jesse looked at him shocked. His lip slightly bleeding.

„What the…“ Jesse hissed, looking at the blood on his fingers and then at his friend.

Marcus just furrowed his brows before groaning „Oh, come on. You fucking deserved it.“

Jesse raised his eyebrows, knowing Marcus was right but he just hadn’t expected this from the guy. And you were also quite suprised as your brother wasn’t normally a violent person. But maybe he was right and Jesse did kinda deserve it.

„Now get in the fucking car and drive my sister to the hospital!“ he yelled and you almost chuckled, this was typical Marcus. He just cared to deeply to stay mad for long.

Jesse didn’t say anything else as he made his way into the car. Marcus hopped in the back seat as you started heading of to the hospital.

„Can you go a little faster man!“ Marcus yelled popping his head between the front seat „She clearly is in pain.“

„I’m driving as fast as I can!“ Jesse hissed and you giggled at the interaction between the two „Are you okay love?“

Marcus scrunched up his face in disgust as he punched Jesses shoulder „Don’t call my sister that!“

I was good at feeling nothing, now I'm hopeless What a drag to love you like I do

„My lip fucking hurts.“ Jesse whined, looking at his bruised reflection in the rearview mirror as you waited at a red light.

„That’s what you get for knocking up my sister.“ Marcus hissed, sitting in the backseat with crossed arms.

The trip to the hospital had revealed a that the pain you had been enduring was some kinda round ligament thing. Apparently a lot of women had it and it would go away with resting. So luckily nothing bad.

Now you were on your way to McDonalds as you were really craving junk food and Jesse said yes to your every wish. That was one perk of being pregnant.

„What’s even the situation between the two of you?“ Marcus asked and you held your breath as you hadn’t yet discussed this with Jesse „Are you gonna get married or what?“

„What?“ you squealed at your brothers silly question.

„Yeah, I mean you are in a relationship right?“ Marcus asked but it was more directed at Jesse than you.

„We haven’t discussed that yet Marcus.“ you answered, not wanting Jesse to feel obligated to say something.

„So you just used my sister for sex?“ Marcus stated emotionless and you gasped at the guys audacity.

„Marcus!“ you hissed, feeling super uncomfortable with the whole situation.

„No I didn’t!“ Jesse now hissed, clearly offended by the accusation.

„Well if you aren’t in a relationship…“ Marcus shrugged and you could tell he was still very much pissed off at this whole thing.

Jesse shook his head taking a deep breath in „I fell in love with her. That’s why I even slept with her okay?“

It was dead silent for a second as you couldn’t believe what Jesse had just casually revealed. He loved you?

„You love me?“ you asked, looking at the guy in the driver seat.

„Yes…“ he smiled at you, before placing his hand on your thigh.

„I love you too Jesse.“ you smiled putting your hand on his.

It was a beautiful moment until you heard Marcus pretending to gag in the backseat. „Oh my god… I feel like I’m gonna throw up.“

I've been loved before, but right now in this moment

I feel more and more like I was made for you

The rest of your pregnancy was absolutely blissful. Jesse and you were falling in love with each other more everyday and your brother started to get used to the idea that his best friend and sister were gonna have a family.

You moved in with Jesse and the two of you started preparing for the baby to arrive. Painting and decorating it’s room, buying all kinds of baby stuff and starting to dicuss names.

Hope also was thrilled to hear she was gonna be a big sister and soon enough the whole world new about the new addition to the Lingard family. Then your due date arrived as you awaited for the birth of your daughter. That’s right, you were gonna have a little girl.

And the day she came into the world your life had forever changed. Finally you felt whole. It was like your whole life you had prepared for her. She was the cutest little baby with her dark curly hair and brown eyes. She was your whole world.

I'm sitting in my brother's room

Haven't slept in a week or two, or two

You sat on the chair in the corner of your brothers room as you watched Marcus and Jesse just stare at the little thing laying on the bed. She was now two weeks old and it had been one hell of a ride. Adjusting to parenthood was definetly hard.

„She is so cute when she sleeps.“ Marcus gushed looking at his niece as a tired looking Jesse chuckled „Yes, she hardly sleeps though.“

He winked at you as you gave him a weak smile, way to tired to say anything.

„So did you finally decide what her name is? Baby is starting to sound really good to me.“ your brother joked, making you chuckle as you leaned back into the chair.

Jesse looked at you with raised eyebrows as if he was asking for permission. You slowly nodded as he looked at the baby again.

„Her name is Haley.“