#jkhilbert

Okay, I'm not sure why I'm doing this, other than I'm in a good mood and feeling loquacious. In any case, Ben asked me some questions ages ago, and by gar, I'm gonna have at them.

1. So, what's your deal?

This is how we're starting? Really? All right then. I'm just this gal, you know? I'm Midwestern born and bred, I like video games and art and abandoned buildings, I want to stand up for women and be broad-minded and live my own life. I laugh at "that's what she said" jokes. I find people fascinating and repugnant at the same time. I've been through a lot and I have a lot left to learn.

2. Star Wars or Star Trek, and why?

Oog. My nerd girl cred takes a hit on this one, as I never got into either franchise. We used to watch ST:TOS when I was a kid, and I saw A New Hope when it was rereleased in theaters, but beyond that, meh. If I had to extrapolate from what I've seen and heard, I'd fall on the Trek side, I guess. I've wanted to see TNG for a while now, just haven't gotten around to it.

I should have gone with my original answer: Tron.

3. Are there any set of circumstances under which you'd consider befriending an orangutan? Please detail those circumstances.

I am not on the search for a partner with which to fight crime, so no.

4. What is delicious?

Can one truly define with mere words what is and is not delicioius? It's such a delicate state of mind that *spontaneously combusts*

5. You’re trapped in a cellar with only your best friend and a length of pipe. The hordes of the undead are scratching at the doors. It’s only a matter of time before they’re in. What do you say to your friend?

"Fart into this, it's the fastest way to kill me."

6. George Lucas has digitally remastered your life story. What changes has he made for the better, and what changes has he made that will alienate fans of your original life?

He slimmed me down a bit, which creates confusion in some scenes, and I'm not sure it was really a change for the better. He replaced my dad with a wizened, fetid puppet, which was a definite improvement. The pod race in the middle, while fun, didn't add much to my life. I liked the new John Williams stuff, though he didn't like my suggestion of licensing a few Rush songs to put in there. Ultimately, fans may be turned off by my 37 interstellar space marriages, but I say hey, more for me.

7. What is your favourite Disney movie not featuring any talking animals? (You cannot cite The Emperor’s New Groove and The Sword in the Stone, as while they don’t strictly include animals with the ability to talk, they do feature humans who are ultimately transformed into animals with speech apparatus, however Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Wreck-It Ralph are acceptable as the animals depicted in those movies exist as fictional characters within the narrative.)

Jeez, they make those? You know what? I'm using my Tron trump card here. Yes, it had the talking bit, but a bit's not an animal. FIGHT ME.

8. Name one song you will always, without question, leap onto the stage to perform during a karaoke event.

I've actually never done karaoke. Tons of singing in Rock Band, sure, but not karaoke. Too much focus on just me and not enough booze, I'd gather. Regardless, I get an obscene amount of pleasure singing "Touch Me" from the Doors. It's so damn fun. I'd sing that in a coma.

9. What’s your favourite thing on the internet?

Just one? Fuck that, I'm putting a few: abandoned-places.com, an urban explorer site based mostly in Europe; the Baby Name Wizard Voyager, which is great for looking up character names based on era (requires Java); What Was There, a street-view city map overlaid with pictures from the past; and "Happy in Paraguay", a hemorrhagingly hilarious Star Trek: TNG redub.

10. Do you have any hilarious dating stories?

I don't know if this is as much hilarious as mortifying, but here goes: My bf at the time prided himself on his cooking prowess, so he offered to have me over to his place for seafood-based Thai. As he stir-fried the various sea meats, I sat and waited on his couch. He lived in a studio the size of a postage stamp, the stir-fry kicked up a lot of smoke, and he couldn't really have a window open cuz it was too cold out. I started coughing. And coughing. And coughing. And then...I may or may not have peed my pants. (I had.) Luckily we were close enough to where drying underwear on his radiator wasn't a big deal.

11. Without going back to change answers to your previous questions, take one word from each of your previous ten answers and use them to assemble a sentence that best describes you. The words can be assembled in any order (for example, the word from your tenth answer does not have to be the tenth word in the sentence).

Tricky.

Repugnant nerd crime peed with Tron; fuck!! Interstellar fart coma! <-- Me in a nutshell

So there's more to this, now. According to "the rules," I get to ask my own questions. Oh dear.

Rules:

1. Always post the rules.

2. Answer the questions the tagger left, then post 11 new questions.

3. Tag 11 new people and link them to your post.

4. Let them know you tagged them.

My Questions:

1. Would you rather be a sparkly vampire, a sexy vampire, or a hideous vampire?

2. What's one song that never fails to cheer you up?

3. Have you ever had to call the cops? If so, why?

4. Chocolate maple bacon zombie ninja steampunk unicorns: Are you sick of this shit yet?

5. Favorite language?

6. Say money was no object. What's one hobby you've always wanted to delve into?

7. How do you feel about strip clubs?

8. Name the most unpleasant smell you've ever experienced.

9. How do you want to be remembered at your funeral?

10. You're visiting a shuttle launchpad to bid farewell to a manned mission to Mars. At the last minute, NASA says they'll take one civilian on board. Do you volunteer?