#jirokami

This is silly. I should leave; I should just leave! Kyoka thought for the millionth time as she hovered outside the bar. She’d been standing there for ten minutes now, in the puddle of light streaming down from a street lamp. That circle of life was like her safety zone, and everything beyond was cast in the gloom of uncertainty. Probably way too dramatic a metaphor for a blind date, but the anxiety gnawing deep in Kyoka’s belly didn’t exactly leave much room for rational thought. 

After repeatedly striking out on the dating scene, Kyoka had grown a little desperate. She was a young college girl with a lot of love to give. She just wanted to share it all with someone! So, after a horrible date that ended with a guy crying on her dorm room floor about being dumped by his high school sweetheart five years ago, Kyoka had approached her best friend Katsuki to hook her up. 

“Yeah, no sweat,” the blond had smirked at her around the straw of his bubble tea. “Matter of fact, I’ve got the perfect guy for you. I’ll text you the details later. Now will you pass me the sriracha? This milk tea needs a kick.” Kyoka had been unperturbed at the time, passing Katsuki the bottle of spicy condiment with a laugh. 

But now? Now she was freaking out. 

Don’t get Kyoka wrong. She knew that Katsuki would never purposefully set her up on a crappy date. Katsuki didn’t tolerate creeps or fools, especially when it came to his female friends. No, her blind date was probably a perfectly great guy! But successive failures weighed heavily on her mind. She couldn’t help but have that nagging feeling in the back of her mind that things would go wrong—and worse, that it wasn’t the guys at all, but there was something wrong with her. 

Oh, no. Now she was getting in her head. She should definitely go home now. She could crawl in bed with a tub of ice cream and watch cheesy sitcoms until late in the evening. Yup. A perfect, heartbreak-free Friday night. 

Kyoka turned on her heel and was met with electric yellow eyes over a nervous smile. 

“Kyoka Jiro?” the young man asked. 

Kyoka admittedly found herself quite tongue-tied. Not only had his sudden appearance startled her, but also, he was quite handsome. A shock of messy bright blond hair with a black lightning-shaped streak in his long bangs, dressed in ripped light gray skinny jeans and a band tee shirt with a leather jacket and combat boots, the stud of a metal earring glinting in his ear as it caught the light of the streetlamp—it was like Kyoka’s dream guy had walked off the pages of her middle school diary. 

“Y-yes, that’s me,” Kyoka stammered when her tongue started working again. Her blind date, it was obviously her blind date; how else would he know her name? “And you must be Denki Kaminari?” 

“That’s me,” Denki smiled with a nod of confirmation. “I’m in Katsuki’s music appreciation class. Of course, I actually want to be there,” he added with a light laugh. “Not like him, slogging through it for a required credit.” 

“Yeah,” Kyoka giggled. His eyes glimmered at the way she held her hand to her mouth to hide her laugh behind it. “If I had a nickel for how many time’s he’s complained about the assignments, I could pay my tuition for this semester.” 

“Ugh, he nearly made my ears bleed when we were studying operas,” he chuckled while raking his fingers through his hair. His smile was still nervous despite the fact that they were already engaged in a pretty good conversation. Kyoka couldn’t blame him; that fear was still gnawing at the back of her mind, making her own smile waver. But things were going well, so she might as well continue on, she told herself. 

“So, why don’t we head into the bar?” she suggested and pointed at the door. 

“Oh, right, of course!” Denki cried. A blush immediately dusted across his cheeks, and he raced to open the door for her. It was kind of cute, actually, that he’d been so engrossed in Kyoka upon first sight that he’d actually forgotten why they were there in the first place. However, just as Kyoka was passing the threshold, the doorknob slipped from his hand, and the door came swinging in to smack right into Kyoka’s arm. 

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry!” he squeaked. He flung the door back open so he could zoom to her side, hands fluttering all around her while he inspected her arm for any bruise or blemish. “It was an accident, I swear! You’re not hurt, are you?” 

“I’m fine,” Kyoka reassured him with a wan smile. She’d certainly never had that happen on any of her dates. He looks genuine, but… Could it be that he already doesn’t like me? Denki looked like he was about to cry, pouting at the place where the door had struck her arm. No, that couldn’t be it, she reassured herself. It was just an accident. 

Yet still, she wrapped her arms around herself in a hug as they walked to a table. 

As the night went on, Kyoka became more and more convinced that there was something inherently undateable about her. The signs were simply too much to ignore. First, they’d gotten to talking about their college majors and their plans. Kyoka had started babbling about how she was studying music for a career in sound production like her parents; Denki had seemed particularly interested when she’d brought up that she was a singer and guitarist in her band. However, as soon as the bartender brought their drinks, Denki bumped Kyoka’s and sent the midnight cocktail spilling all over the table. 

“Ugh, I’m so sorry,” Denki groaned apologetically while he mopped up the fruit and alcohol mix with a wad of paper towels. “Katsuki’s always on my ass about how clumsy I am. He even gave me a whole speech about how I had to like, totally use every ounce of my willpower not to be a klutz, and look. I’ve already goofed up twice tonight!” 

He seemed so genuine. Really. It was almost enough for Kyoka to believe that it was just that, just a super-nervous guy accidentally bungling things because he was so overwhelmed in her presence. But no guy had been like that around her, none of them. Kyoka surely couldn’t be that special. No, this all had to be some elaborate act. Denki had taken one look at her and been repulsed, but he wanted to let her down easy with this whole goofy clumsy bit. It was kind, in the most twisted way. 

Denki’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he looked up to see silent tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Shit. I’ve fucked up. Oh, man! Oh, man! Katsuki warned me that he would kick my ass if I made you cry!” Denki cried in panic and thrust his hands into his plumes of bright yellow hair. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’ve ruined this. I know how much you were looking forward to a good date, I heard about all the douchebags you’ve been going out with lately, and I—Oh, man, I just wanted you to have a nice time, especially once I saw you and how beautiful you are, and now look, I’ve fucked it up—”

Kyoka looked at him with wide, watery eyes. 

“You… You think I’m beautiful?” 

Denki stopped babbling mid-sentence to gape at her. 

“Uh… Yeah. Absolutely. You’re the most stunning girl I’ve ever seen. It actually took me, like, a full minute to walk up to you and say hi because I figured the universe wouldn’t be so nice as to hand me a drop-dead gorgeous girl like you.” 

Kyoka felt the blush begin to crawl up from her neck. It crept up, gradually turning the skin of her face a rosy pink. 

“Then… you don’t think there’s something wrong with me?” 

It was such a weird thing to ask. Kyoka knew that Denki probably wouldn’t look twice at her after this. But she was at a breaking point. The beast had taken over her head, blackening her thoughts and leaving her in a cloud of self-doubt. Denki had offered her a slim ray of hope, and she was going to reach out and grab it, regardless of how pitiful it made her seem. 

Denki smiled sympathetically. He left the sodden napkins in the middle of the table and grabbed his chair to pull it around so he could sit right next to her. Kyoka blushed, but didn’t scoot away. He slowly eased himself down next to her, and her blush furthered when his knee gently bumped hers. 

“Kyoka, let’s get one thing straight here. There is nothing wrong with you,” he said sternly. Kyoka couldn’t help but pout doubtfully at him, that beast still struggling to keep her ensnared in its mean talons. “You’re pretty, and smart, and sophisticated. There is nothing about you that would drive a man away except for his own issues.” 

“Really?” 

“Really!” he nodded adamantly. Kyoka felt the dismal haze around her mind begin to clear, and a tiny smile wormed its way onto her lips. “I’m sorry that you haven’t had much luck in the dating scene lately. All those guys sound like crap. Especially the crying guy. Who does that?” 

“Yeah, he was a piece of work,” Kyoka giggled. She reached up to wipe her tears away with the backs of her hands, smiling at Denki while she did so. He was looking at her with this absolutely lovestruck expression on his face—honestly, it made him look totally dopey, but Kyoka was honestly kind of in love with it. “I’m sorry. I’m sure when you agreed to this blind date you didn’t think you would be sorting out my issues.” 

“Hey, I’m nothing if not an understanding man,” Denki huffed with a self-satisfied head waggle. He puffed out his chest, and Kyoka laughed again. Now that she wasn’t all wrapped up in her own feelings, she realized that Denki was really funny. “Besides, it’s not like I’ve been the perfect date myself. I hit you with a door and spilled your drink.” 

“That is true,” Kyoka snickered. “I don’t mind, though. It’s kinda cute… the whole clumsy thing.” 

“Yeah? You think so? I can go slip in that puddle of beer over there if you want,” Denki said with a point at a spot on the floor nearby. Kyoka grabbed his arm with another loud laugh, and when Denki looked at her, he was smiling dreamily. 

“There it is. There’s the smile I’ve been wanting to see all night,” he murmured. He reached up with his other hand to gently touch the corner of her mouth. “Katsuki told me it was the most gorgeous thing.” 

“Yeah? What else did he tell you?” Kyoka hummed. Electricity was beginning to spark in the air between them. It was a feeling that she hadn’t felt in so long. Despite her heart hammering in her chest, the air being caught in her lungs, the burning in her face… She wasn’t about to stop it. 

“He told me that you like to dance.” 

“Well then, let’s dance,” Kyoka smiled and stood up, holding a hand out to him. She arched her eyebrow playfully, then added, “Try not to step on my toes.” 

“No guarantees,” Denki chuckled as he rose from the chair. He took her hand, his eyes glimmering like they had been when he first saw her outside. “If me being clumsy makes you smile like that, I might have to do it on purpose.” 

1. Pull It From My Teeth by Galaxy Family

“Oh sing with me, just pretend that I’m not listening.” “Wandering down the line of love and lunacy.”

2. This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory

“You’re the ground my feet won’t reach.” “So if you’re lonely, come be lonely with me?”

3. Hallelujah by Paramore

“This time we’re not giving up. Let’s make it last forever.” “Somehow, everything’s gonna fall right into place.”

4. Yr So Retro by Fuller

“I just want your song in my head.” “Be the song in my head tonight.”

5. worldstar money (interlude) by Joji

“I looked at you and said, ‘oh, oh, oh...’“ “Don’t hate me, am I crazy?”

6. Untitled Unloved by MyKey

“Are you gonna love me, like I love you?” “I may come off a bit too strong, I haven’t felt real love in so long.”

7. Symphony (feat. Zara Larsson) by Clean Bandit, Zara Larsson

“And now your song is on repeat, and I’m dancing on to your heartbeat.” “‘Cause I’ve been hearing symphonies. Before all I heard was silence.”

8. lvl70champion by Bilmuri

“So hold me ‘cause it’s a bitter world, but we can make it beautiful.” “But you make it so beautiful to me.“

9. Still Into You by Paramore

“But when our fingers interlock, can’t deny, can’t deny, you’re worth it.” “Let them wonder how we got this far, ‘cause I don’t really need to wonder at all.”

10. Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

“I’m a sorry sucker and this happens all the time.” “Hey baby, won’t you look my way?”

11. Goodnight Moon by Go Radio

“‘Cause I’ve been trying way too long to try and be the perfect song.” “How’d I ever breathe without a goodnight kiss from goodnight you?”

12. 18 by One Direction

“So kiss me where I lay down, my hands pressed to your cheeks.” “We took a chance. God knows we tried. Yet all along, I knew we’d be fine.”

13. Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings

“Don’t sell your heart. Don’t say we’re not meant to be.” “Three, two, one, now fall in my arms.”

14. So Good by HARBOUR

“Tell me just how you feel. Darlin’ tell me just how you feel.” “And tell me baby, please, that this is something.”

15. Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens

“How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song. but I don’t think words could express your beauty.” “They say that love is forever. Your forever is all that I need.”

16. Permanence by Bears In Trees

“We sing our love songs in the dark, so no one has to hear the sparks.” “I want to feel chaotic, but calm enough to hold you in the morning.”

17. We’ll Be Beautiful (feat. POLYDRIVE) by Tobias Dray, POLYDRIVE

“The only time you open up is when you’re singing, but I want you to know I’m always here to listen.” “If you get high, or the sky fall down, just take my hand and we will fly this out.”

This playlist is one of the first ship playlists I ever made, but kept under wraps because the manga was making me nervOUS. So nervous. But I think I’m okay now, so here it is!