Chapter 01.
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Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader AND Abby Anderson x Reader (separately)
Word Count: 3.0k+
Summary: Your night is interrupted by an unexpected visit that changes everything. Years later, the memory still lingers, shaping every step forward. As the cold closes in, so does the feeling that something inevitable is coming.
A/N: Hello! This is a SWFF 2.0 that I posted on Ao3. If you've read the original version, think of this as the extended version of that. It's been 3 years since I wrote the original, and it is still my favorite story I've worked on.
Ao3 Link
_
 Your blanket is warm against your body. It smells faintly like her. You cling to the warmth like your life depends on it. The world outside your sleep feels far away. You are safe in that hazy, floating place where nothing hurts.
That was true until her fingers gripped your shoulder.Â
âMmmâŚâ you groan, dragging the sound from deep in your chest as you feel the fingers grip your shoulder again.Â
âWake up⌠it's important,â Ellie whispers.
Her voice was low, tight, and controlled. It sounded all wrong, but that didn't register in your sleep and exhaustion-ridden brain.
âIt can't wait?â you mumble, words thick with sleep. âYouâve been gone for weeksâŚso it can wait.â
You roll away from her, dragging the blanket over your head. The warmth had returned to your body under the blanket. And a second, everything feels normal again.Â
But before the safety of your blanket is able to settle in your bones, it is ripped off you. The cold air from the room slams into your skin so suddenly that it steals your breath.Â
âSeriously, wake the fuck up.â
The urgency in her voice slices clean through the fog in your brain, making you bolt upright, your hair wild, and your eyes burning with sudden awareness.Â
Anger creeps into your chest. The audacity she has to sit on your bed, waking you up in the middle of the night when shes been missing for weeks, probably off running around with Riley.Â
âWhat the fuck, Ellie? Youâve been gone for weeks, and you think you can come in here bossing me around. Go the fuck-â
âI'm leaving the QZ. I came to say goodbye.â
You werent exactly sure if it was because you were still half asleep or becaus eyou were angry at her, but you were having a hard time registering her words. While your brain caught up, your heart completely understood what was said. It pounded so hard against your chest, that it was the only sound that you could hear.Â
The world felt like it stopped while your brain scrambled to rearrange her words into something logical.
âEllie.. Seriously.. Iâm not in the mood for your games,â You whisper, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. âLetâs revisit this in the morning. We can plan our grand escape tomorrow after weâve gotten some sleep. Please just go to sleep.â
You were trying to convince yourself that this was some sick prank. You tried to be calm and level-headed.
âIâm serious, Peach. I donât have a lot of time to explain myself, so I just need you to listen to me.â
You shut your eyes tightly. The tone of her voice made your heart beat even faster than before. Your eyes finally travel to her face. Moonlight spills through the cracked window, cutting across her face. Her eyes looked darker than usual; they no longer held the playful and sarcastic look they always held. They just looked heavy. Almost like she was grieving something that hadn't happened yet.Â
You search her face the way you always did. Ellie had never been good at hiding things from you. She was always an open book, but now you just couldn't read her. She was like a locked door you no longer had the key for.Â
âIâm leaving the QZ,â she finally says, breaking the silence. âI..I dont know for how long or even if I'll ever come back. But⌠I couldn't leave you without saying goodbye.â
The sound of your heart pounding against your chest consumes you once again. Your chest tights. This couldnât be the same panic you felt while fighting off clickers. There is no way⌠this felt worse.. This felt like no pain you had ever experienced.Â
A slow, suffocating pressure spread throughout your chest.Â
You tried to open your mouth, but the words died before they even made it to your lips.
âI was bit,â she blurts out. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides. âAnd... and it turns out I'm immune. Thatâs why I was gone for so long, the Fireflies took me and had me locked up in a room to see if I would turn, and I didnât. Iâm still alive.â
She laughs once. Too sharp. Too fast.
âThey think I can help make a cure or some shit. Itâs actually pretty badass. Iâll ride the words of cordyceps, and my life will finally have purpose⌠It has a purpose now. â
Purpose.
It had purpose here with you. She had the purpose of being your best friend. She didn't need to leave to find it elsewhere. And if Ellie had a purpose outside of the QZ, what would become of you?Â
You donât remember deciding to move. But before you knew it, you shot up from the bed, grabbing your pack, frantically shoving clothes inside without folding, without thinking, without breathing.Â
âIâm going with you. I can pack fast. Just give me a minute.â You say frantically.Â
You couldnât look at her. You couldnât because if you did, you wouldn't find the strength in you to stop crying, and the reality was that you werenât sure that you would ever stop.Â
She pulls you into her arms, causing your pack to slip from your hands, slamming onto the ground harder than intended. Then a sob tears out of you. It wasnât a soft cry or just tears flowing; it was a deep crying that made you gasp for air and your entire body rattle.Â
You clutch her shirt, fingers twisting into the fabric like you can anchor her to this moment if you just hold tighter.
Ellie could feel her heart break as your body shook against her chest. The only thing she could do was to hold onto you tighter. You felt her breathing slow and controlled, like she was holding herself together.Â
Ellie rubbed small circles on your back, trying to soothe the pain you were feeling, but she knew better than anyone that this pain was inconsolable. She knew the pain better than anyone. Riley⌠Ellie couldnât bear to think about her right now. Not with you in this state. So all she could provide to you was this moment.Â
âI canât take you,â she whispers into your shoulder. âWeâre going across the country. I can't live with myself if something happens to you. Joel and Tess won't let me bring you. Trust me, I tried.â
âI'll come back,â she continues, âas soon as they get whatever they need from me. Blood. Test. or whatever the fuck.â
A small chuckle escapes from your lips. Of course, she would minimize saving humanity to âor whatever the fuckâ. You wanted to be selfish and beg her to stay, or scream at her, or lock her in the storage unit to keep her here, but you couldnât do that to Ellie. You couldnât stop her from fulfilling her purpose.Â
âItâs time,â a woman's voice cuts in.Â
Ellie's arms loosen around your body. You wanted nothing more than to freeze this moment in time and remain in her arms, just one more minute, but instead, panic exploded throughout your body.
âWait.â
You stumble to the bulletin board, fingers clumsy as you rip down the picture of the two of you. The edges curled. One corner torn, but the smiles on your faces are bright. You shove the photo into her hands.Â
âNever fucking forget me. You better come find me when you save the world, El. Donât fucking die trying to save the rest of the world, dumbass. I love you.â
Ellie freezes like the words physically struck her. She never imagined that those words would EVER come out of your mouth and especially not now. Why would you say that to her? And why would you say that to her now, right as she was to leave for god knows how long⌠Did you actually mean it?
Then, without thinking twice, you kiss her.Â
âI love you too,â Ellie breathes.Â
The woman climbs through the window, boots slamming down on the floor. Too loud and too heavy.Â
Everything moves too fast after that. She grabs Ellie by the arm, pulling her toward the window. You donât call out or chase her or say goodbye; you just stand there watching the person you care about most leave you behind. And deep down, beneath the fragile hope, you know the truth.
Youâre never going to see her again.
As much as you wished and bargained with the universe, you knew better.
This world has never given you kindness before. Why would it start now?
5 years later
Your mind always drifted back to that awful night. You wonder what became of her and whether she ever made it to wherever the hell she was going for that stupid cure.Â
Obviously, the cure was a doozy.
She lied and abandoned you in that shitty place. You hate her for leaving you, but she lives rent-free in your head.
âHey! Are you listening or is your head in the clouds again, Sunshine?âÂ
Abby shakes your shoulder playfully. Snow whips around you violently, biting at any exposed skin.Â
âYeah,â you mutter. âKill the old man. Whateverâ
Your voice is flat. Any and all emotion drained from you. The cold had consumed your body and seeped deep into your bones hours ago. Your toes were numb, and your nose burned every time you breathed. The endless white landscape stretched in every direction.Â
You donât care about revenge or justice. And you certainly do not care about Abbyâs endless rants about the same topic over and over again. It was too cold to think about that.
âLook, this is serious,â Abby says quietly.Â
âI know, Abby. Iâve known this whole time that this was serious. I apologize for not being all consumed by your revenge arc of murder. Forgive me for being a bit preoccupied with the fear of frostbite.â You said a little more bluntly than you intended, but it was too cold for this.
âThere she goes again being a fucking bitch,â Jordan mumbles.
âOh no, Jordan, you are seriously breaking my spirit with such an original insult,â you mock.Â
You earn chuckles from the rest of the group. Jordan rolls his eyes at you and says nothing more. Â
You didn't want to be there. You didn't want to walk through knee-deep snow that soaked through your boots and numbed your toes until they felt like they no longer belonged to you. You didn't want to feel the wind slicing through your clothe slike thin blades, robbing you of every ounce of warmth your body tried to produce. You didn't want to feel this tired, the cold, or the empty feeling in your chest.Â
You wanted to be home.
But instead, you were here. In the middle of nowhere. Freezing and exhausted, hunting a stupid old man.Â
You hated talking about him. His name always left a bitter taste in your mouth. You hated the way every conversation eventually circled back to him like he was the sun and the rest of you were just trapped in orbit. The closer you got to him, the more intense Abby became. She became more restless, more obsessed, more sharp. He was consuming her. Abby was becoming Icarus, flying too close to the sun.
You tried not to judge⌠not so hard anyway. He killed her father.
An eye for an eye.Â
Still⌠revenge didnât wasnât keeping you warm or the frostbite away.Â
Couldnât you have taken this trip in the summer or spring? It had to be winter. He was to blame. Why the hell would you live in this frozen hell?
The rest of the hike passed in silence, broken only by the occasional quiet murmuring between Mel and Owen. You werenât a nosy person, not really. You were observant. And somewhere between the wind howling and the boots crunching through the snow, you caught a single word. One word that seemed to have escaped the pair.Â
Pregnant.
Your gaze flicked toward Mel. She had been eating more lately. More snappy than usual. Moving a little slower when she thought no one was watching. God, Abby will be devastated when she finds out. Heartbroken over Owen once again.
âWeâre here,â Owen finally said, his voice rough from the cold.Â
Relief rippled through the group the second the lodge came into view. Everyone practically ran from the door, stumbling inside in a desperate rush to escape the storm.
Owen and Manny immediately started a fire.
You removed your layers of clothes wet with snow, slowly making your way to the chimney. You stretched your hands toward the fire, fingers trembling as heat slowly seeped back into them. They hurt so badly as they warmed up.
You didnât move away. You closed your eyes as the warmth reached your face.Â
âHey..â
Abby lowered herself beside you. Close enough, your shoulders brushed. You give her a quick smile out of habit before returning your attention to the fire, watching the flames twist and curl.Â
âAre you okay?â she asked.
âYeah, just cold and homesick,â you murmur.Â
She didnât look convinced. She never looked convinced by your answers anymore.Â
âIs everything okay between us?â
You close your eyes. You pause for a second before responding. No, things werent okay between the two of you. Of course they werenât.
âYeah,â you say almost too fast.
âI know weâre not in the best place right now, but you can still talk to me, you know.â
Your chest tightens; you didn't want to talk about anything. And you certainly did not want to talk to Abby about that.
âI hate being here,â you admit, voice low. âI hate the snow. I hate being cold, and I hate not being able to shake off this feeling of impending doom. I feel like something is waiting for us, like the doomsday clock is counting down, but itâs probably just the cold and my fear of getting frostbite.â
Abby's expression softens. âI wonât let anything happen to you, and I'll make sure you donât get frostbite.â
You chuckle at her stupid joke. You desperately wanted to believe her, but the knot in your stomach didn't loosen. It just sat there, heavy, quiet, and patient.Â
Fear rarely left once it settled in.
â
Your eyes fluttered open to the noise. You jolted upright, heart already racing before you could even understand why. The room felt dimmer now, colder without the fire blazing so high. Most of the group had moved outside onto the balcony, their voices sharp and overlapping.
You pushed yourself up, rubbing sleep from your face as you stepped closer. You found your boots and coat before you stepped outside.Â
âNo,â Owen said firmly. âThose people in that town would eat us alive if we step anywhere near them. We wait. Patience is on our side. They patrol the area. I am sure he patrols as well. We wait for him outside.â
Thank god for Owen, despite your differences and your distaste for him, he was the only logical, level-headed person in the group.
âJust fucking let me go,â Abby snapped. âI can end it!â
Voices erupt from every direction immediately. Everyone is talking over eachother. Everyone volunteering. Everyone arguing. An endless loop of tension and impatience.Â
You sigh loudly and annoyed.Â
âI'll go,â you said plainly.Â
Every head snapped towards you.Â
You crossed your arms to try to warm yourself up once again, â I mean this with no offense because you are all my friends, but none of you have friendly faces. They will not suspect a thing from poor little me.â
âWhat do you mean by that?â Mel ask dumbfounded.
âWell, Mel, ha that rhymed. Sorry, Mel, you and Nora are our medics in case of any injuries, and you know,â You say, looking down at her belly before continuing on. âOwen, you need to stay here and hold down the fort. Abby, you will light that whole settlement on fire to find one man, and that's not what were here for. I mean, you all get the gist. Everyone has an important role here.â
You shrugged slightly. Â
âI can get in and out.â
Chaos exploded again. Everyone arguing. Everyone objecting. Everyone is talking over one another.Â
It had to be the cold impacting our ability to think critically. It had to be. Our Seattle brains were not made for all the snow and freezing cold temperatures.Â
âNo,â Abby said sharply, turning her body towards you, âIâm not letting you walk into that town and get yourself killed.â
You met her gaze steadily. âIsaac has sent me on more dangerous ops, Abby. I can handle this.â
âWell, Isaac isn't here. The choice is mine, and Iâm saying no.â
Something about her talking to you like that just sets you off, âMy apologises, Sargaent Anderson, I had not realized I stepped out of line. Forgot I was just another one of your soldiers and not an equal part of this fucking group.â
Owen exhaled slowly. âSheâs right, Abs. She has gone on way more dangerous missions back home, she always handles herself flawlessly, and shes the least threatening out of all of us.â
The tension was thick. Almost as unbearable as the cold.
Abbyâs jaw tightened.Â
âYou have three days,â she said finally, âBring him out. Then we proceed with the plan accordingly.Â
The mission was simple. In and out.Â
A piece of cakeÂ
âYes Sergaent Anderson,â you snap before heading back inside.Â
You earn chuckles from Manny and Nora.
Abby was hot on your heels before she grabbed your wrist, spinning you around.
âIâm sorry, okay? I didnât mean to boss you around. Iâm just afraid, okay. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt because of me. You are not obligated to this. We can plan something else. We have time.â Abby says.Â
âItâs fine. I can handle it.â you snap at her, still upset with her.Â
âIs the bad feeling still there?â she whispers.Â
Your entire body stiffens. Yes, of course it was still there; it had never left. It clung to your ribs and curled in your stomach. It whispered in your ear that something was about to go terribly, horribly wrong.
âNo, I told you it was just the cold.â
She studied you for a long moment, taking all of you in.Â
âPlease be careful, and please donât fucking die.â








