we'll be okay again, one day
The bags under Jin’s eyes were heavy and he couldn’t find it in himself to cry anymore.
“I’m sorry” your words were hardly intelligible as you choked through sobs, “I’m sorry for asking.”
Guilt gnawed at his heart as he blinked away his own tears. “Don’t apologize, it’s no one’s fault.”
“I’m sorry” you gasped, choking and gagging through sobs that you were sure sounded disgusting, but couldn’t bring yourself to pull together.
“Please, it’s too much.” He exhaled, shaky as he tried to tear his gaze away from the breakdown before him.
Here you came again, an emotional hurricane in full force today. He wasn’t sure if you meant to pull him into your storm like this, but you did. You always did. Before weathering it hadn’t been a thought, he always did for you. He loved you; so much. You were his everything, his world, but now you were dulling his own. It’s tempting to drop to the floor with you, sharing the feeling of hard tile on his body as he consoled the inconsolable. But it's so tiring on him and his own feelings. Your baggage became his overnight, and it was far too heavy to carry with his own.
To be a fly on the wall watching the crumbling mess that was your relationship would be interesting, in his opinion. So much emotional giving on his part, so much guilt and panic on your own. He was surprised the snap hadn’t happened sooner.
“Jin please, I won't ask again- I’m sorry for asking for help, I won't again.” Your face was red and blocky, tears slick against your cheeks, and sweat stuck the hair to your forehead. “I know I’m too much, I’m sorry.”
“No” Jin’s voice breaks, “no I just can’t, you just need help and I can’t be the one to give it to you.” You nod, sucking in a breath as you feel his hands lift your face up. Your emotions were a part of him as much as his were to you. Your relationship had always blended them in such a way that made support so easy, but now something was happening. Jin wasn’t sure what, but he was tired, sad, and worried all the time. Such a weight among other pressures was starting to hurt, his chest was always tight. “We both need time apart” he smiles, tears rolling down the curse of his cheek and lip. “To make things okay, so we can be okay together.”
You nodded, sniffling as he held your hands in his. “I love you.”
Jin smiles but it comes out a choked back sob. “I love you too. It’ll be okay again, we’ll be okay again.”
