#jimin notes

i thought about why i was sitting there. it was because i had no courage. i wanted to pretend that i was okay now, pretend that i knew something, pretend that i could jump over this, but truthfully i was afraid.

the day i left the hospital. i had dreamed of that day. i wanted to leave the hospital and spend time meeting my friends and laughing and chatting together like we did before. but now, i didn’t know.

while heading towards the academy, my heart was tight. it was a burden to start studying again, but i was afraid of having to be among unfamiliar people more than anything. if anyone found out about me, what should i do?

with my hand in my pockets, i walked looking down. not on purpose. but i looked up and saw my reflection in a shop window; i looked like a boy walking with stooped shoulders or an old man without a hope or will to live.

i stopped in front of the drawing without realizing it. it was scrawled in rough black lines, someone’s face that had no warmth. i wondered who it was, but i knew. the person who owned that face. it was seokjin.

a thin stream of light fell on the desk. it was light that finally came in through the window with the school’s name written on it. in the front of the classroom, the teacher talked away through a microphone, but i hardly heard it. i sat in the farthest row with my head down, struggling to somehow catch the light that slipped through my fingers.