You?? You would write a fic where Swiss and Phantom basically play quintnosis chicken because theyre bored and both of them are idiots till they're both too fucked up on magic to think straight and end up clumsily humping like dumb animals.

And also they get found in this pliable state by a very amused Aether who can't turn down the opportunity being handed to him on a platter.

Or...something like that.

-void