#jessestjesse

Noah drank too much - probably more than he'd planned but he didn't forget the conversation they'd had before everyone else showed up and he still wasn't sure what to think about anything that was happening. He liked Jesse, had told him that he'd always liked him, but was too freaked out that he'd end up rejected by another person he loved to actually go into any of what he was feeling beyond that. But he'd asked him to stay anyway and, even though it'd all turned into everyone crashing, he had every intention of getting Jesse upstairs where they could be alone. He missed it, even if it hadn't all been perfect when they hooked up before. As the night wound down and he was satisfied with the state of the basements cleanliness, his next move was to find Jess. Stumbling back down the stairs, he approached him from behind and grabbed a fist full of his shirt to pull him carefully back into his chest and rest his chin on his shoulder. "Hey, you tired?"

Jesse had spent most of the night drunk making the eyes at Noah. He couldn't help himself. He'd already admitted he wanted him. He knew better than to jump into another relationship, especially after the trainwreck he just got out of, but that didn't mean he couldn't like Noah, right? Or want him.  When the night came to a close he wanted to roll his eyes, seeing that everyone was staying. He assumed Noah had simply forgot about him until he felt himself being pulled back against the man.  "Hi babyface." he hummed with a smile as he turned his head some to catch a glimpse of him. "Mmm, no I'm pretty awake, why what's up?" he whispered playfully, giving Noah's cheek a kiss.

"I don't have a baby face." Noah’s smile was lazy and he turned his head into the boys hair, tugging gently at the shirt that was still bunched up in his grip. "Oh yeah? Wanna come upstairs with me? Unless you're not into the baby face or somethin'," he hummed and his lips formed a smirk. "Then you can just stay down here with the punch bowl."

"You do too have a baby face." Jesse joked with a smile, humming quietly as he felt Noah tug at the shirt. At the question he nodded quickly and turned to face Noah with a grin. "Yeah I'll head upstairs." he murmured quietly, leaning up on his toes some to give Noah a playful kiss, even brushing his fingers over the teen's bicep. "Lead the way." he whispered when he pulled away, reaching down to take Noah's hand.

Noah rolled his eyes and squeezed his hand before pulling him up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. Maybe they couldn't date, as Jesse had made perfectly clear, but they could do this and he knew Jesse wouldn't be opposed to at least one night. He was leaving Lima and Noah was stuck for at least another year; he couldn't blame him for wanting to cut any loose ends. Dating wouldn't make sense. Noah didn't want to hold him back and since he wasn't exactly jumping to talk to anyone about anything he was feeling, keeping quiet and letting things  go was easier. He'd sleep with Jesse tho; Noah was good at that. Once he had the door open and the boy tugged into his room, he shut his door and leaned his weight back into it. "Have fun?"

Jesse hummed as he made his way into Noah's bedroom, already knowing what they were planning on doing.  He shrugged and smiled. "I'm drunk, and I'm horny so it's a great night, no?" he asked with a big smile as he  sat down on the edge of Noah's bed, smiling up at him. "I tried my best not to make it about me but I can't help but pull attention." he joked quietly. "Kiss me like you missed me?" he teased with a big smile.

"Good, then at least we don't have to tip toe around anything," Noah smiled his dopey smile again and walked over to Jesse, pulling his knees apart to stand between his legs and hang his arms loosely around his neck. "Yeah, you're pretty good at that, huh? It was fun, though." He pressed his lips together and nodded before leaning in and kissing him. It was a little more sloppy than he'd have preferred, but there wasn't much that could be helped when he was a strong combination of drunk and high.

Jesse was nervous as he showed up to the Berry house. He knew he shouldn't be. This was about Cyrus and making him feel welcomed and loved but Noah said they should talk first.  Sure, Jesse knew he shouldn't have admitted everything over text. But the thing was, he was a total coward. He was scared of facing his fears and facing Noah of course. After being let in by Hiram, the man who had basically become his surrogate father, he headed down to the basement, standing on the last step as he spotted Noah.  "Hey you." he hummed quietly, shoving his hands into his front pockets.

A gathering with his friends was long overdue, so Noah pulled out all the stops in setting up the basement for the night. He wanted to do whatever he could to help Cyrus feel better about all of the crap he was dealing with, but he was also anxious about talking to Jesse after the boys confession. He was confused. There were a lot of mixed signals and Noah still wasn't quite sure how he felt about it but he knew the only they were going to get out of this awkwardness was to talk. He pulled bottles out from under their basement bar, filled a punch bowl, opened bags of chips and pretzels, set up the mic on their makeshift stage, and tucked his stash in his pocket for later. When he heard Jesse on the stairs, he stuck the mic back in the stand and one corner of his mouth turned up into a dopey smile. "Hey, Jess." He stepped closer, resting his hands on his hips. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't been that great of a friend lately."

Jesse couldn't help but relax and meet that dopey smile with his own. "You? A bad friend? Impossible." he replied as he stepped forward, glancing around the basement with a hum. "It looks good in here, No.  Spike the punch already?" he asked with a hum as he stopped a few inches in front of him. "But really you've been a fine friend. I've been an ass. I dated a boy out of nowhere....I ran away. I just...I dunno. This years been weird, eh?" he asked quietly, reaching out to fix Noah's shirt some. "How are you though? In general?" he asked quietly before biting at his lower lip. "What's up with Mia? How's that going? Still scared?"

"Of course I already spiked the punch," Noah grinned. "We wanted to cheer him up, right? Best way possible. A drunk singing St. James is enough to brighten anyone's night." He laughed before biting down on his lips. "A little strange, yeah. Horomones or something, I guess. But, uh, I don't know. Nothing's happened. I don't really know if anything is going to. Seems like it would have by now, you know? And, like, I have a date with Billie and it's not necessarily romantic or whatever but she's cool, so it'll be fun. I guess, I don't know, I'm just kind of wondering what's going to happen here." He pulled down Jesse's hand from where it held his shirt and he squeezed it.

“Oh God. You better invite James then. After the musical, I’m done. No more singing ever.” Jesse joked with a half smile as he looked up to Noah. “Probably hormones. It’s always hormones, huh?” he teased as he quickly fixed his hair next. “Well who knows, you just have to actually try something. You know? You can’t wait for it.” he murmured, before nodding. “I hope your date goes well.” he murmured sounding more sad than bitter.  He laced his fingers with Noah’s and shrugged. “Dunno. Sorry I was so weird and cryptic, I’m really stupid and overdramatic. I’m working on it.” he murmured, looking down.

"James is always invited but I definitely hope you're not planning on stopping singing anytime soon. Who else am I gonna duet with tonight? You can't ruin our tradition now. Not fair," Noah smiled, watching him play with his hair. He was so quiet compared to his usual dramatics that Noah was almost taken aback. "Totally the hormones. I don't know, we've hung out alone a few times and it was really romantic and there was potential, you know? I made her a grilled cheese. It just never felt like the right time." It probably had a lot to do with his fears surrounding rejection and the fact that he already had been rejected by her causing a bit of a problem in his feelings toward her but he kept that part quiet. "It'll be fine. And I think it'll be fun. I'm gonna take her to Lulu's and maybe go rollerskating or something." Noah grinned when Jesse laced their fingers together and squeezed again. "You're definitely weird but you're not stupid. If you weren't dramatic I'd wonder who took over your body. Don't change that. I don't wanna live in a world where you're any different than the Jess I know and love, okay?" He paused and looked around the room, feeling like the questions he had could wait but knowing that their friends would be over any time. "I... What, um. So you pretty much said you like me and that's cool but you also said you don't want to date me, so I guess I'm just wondering what it is you're looking for because my head is really confused."

“I...” Jesse started before humming and looking down, rather flustered. “So here’s the thing, right?” he started and paused. “I would probably date you in two seconds and love every second of it.” he admitted glanced up. “And I played house with Hunter, and I thought about you every minute. Which is unfair and awful... but you like Mia.” he hummed quietly, still holding onto Noah’s hand. “You really like her, and... and you sleep with a bit of people and it seems like you like that? And if I dated you you would just learn to hate me. I mean I’ll be the person who took that freedom from you. Then I’ll run off to California and long distance never works.” Jesse said, his voice quiet the entire time before he pressed his face against Noah’s shoulder, sighing against him. “You’re going to make someone so happy one day and I don’t deserve you.” he promised quietly. “God I sound so sad and moody. I sound like a Smiths song. I’m sorry.” he mumbled pulling away with a forced half smile as he looked around again. “So what are you singing with me today, Nono?”

Noah remained quiet as he listened to Jesse speak, at first out of nerves because he was pretty sure he knew what was going to happen and then because a lump had formed at the back of his throat and he knew if he spoke he'd look pathetic. He wanted to tell him that he only slept with people because he felt alone and that he'd be happier if he didn't feel like that was his only option, but he didn't. He wanted to say that as much as he liked Mia, he wasn't sure if it was in the way that they wanted him to, but he didn't. Instead, he let go of Jesse's hand, said a hollow "Okay", and moved back to the bar where the drinks sat. He swallowed thickly, looking into the punch and stirring it. "I don't know. We'll find something. I, uh, I think we need more ice. I'll go... get some from upstairs." He kept his eyes down and waved a hand toward the couches pushed up against the wall and moved back to start up the stairs. "Sit? Maybe everyone else is close."

Jesse frowned at how quiet Noah got.  “Okay?” he asked, tilting his head . Well he had known that Noah wasn’t a fighter but Jesse had hoped he’d at least say something. When the teen offered to get more ice he shook his head and caught Noah’s arm. “We don’t need more ice come here.” he said quietly. “Please talk to me? Say something? I know you’re holding back and I just. I do want this... I do I guess I just need to know how you feel.” he asked, his blue eyes searching Noah’s face for a moment, before he cupped his cheeks. “Like... like do you ever think about kissing me?” he asked quietly, praying to god he didn’t seem desperate.

"Yeah, we do. It'll be shit without it." He tried to pass his friend but was stopped in his tracks quickly. With Jesse's hands on his face, Noah stiffened. He wasn't comfortable with confrontation and hadn't prepared himself for this kind of situation.  "You already said everything you needed to say. You know exactly how I'm feeling, right?" He raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, angry with himself for imagining that this would go any differently. He felt like a naive kid, swallowing thickly and hoping Jesse didn't notice. "Doesn't matter."

“It does matter.” Jesse frowned, letting his hands drop as he watched Noah. “Please? Just talk to me? I’m sorry I know I was just assuming stuff but you know I was hoping you’d say something, you’d prove me wrong you know, scoop me up. We’d sing a love song.” he rambled. He knew he was making absolutely no sense, and that he kept switching what he was saying. He wanted Noah. He did, but it was fair of him to not want to steal him from Mia. “Please talk? I know I pissed you off, just... please?”

"It's not a movie. You can't just say stuff trying to convince me it's a bad idea and assume I'm just gonna read your mind." Noah played with the edges of his shirt, bunching it up and smoothing it back out while his eyes darted around the room. "And you know you've gotta be real clear cause I'm not gonna figure shit out if you just walk around it. I'm not, like, super smart or whatever. Not pissed off either," he bit down on the inside of his cheek and sighed. "Sad, kind of. Maybe. Confused mostly, I guess."

Jesse bit at his lower lip. "I know, I know. I just...I'm stupid I don't know." he murmured, watching Noah  still. He knew he needed to just be honest and to speak his mind yet he found himself wanting to speak in puzzles. "I'm sorry I made you sad." he whispered as he moved to snuggle up again, resting his cheek against Noah's chest. "I know I over complicate things. I just....I like you? I think about you a lot. And there. That's it." he nodded, finding himself pressing a small peck to the man's shoulder. "And now you can get your ice and I'll shut up."