#jegulusheadcannons

part one:

james potter, above all else, was tired. tired of hiding his relationship, tired of hiding his sexuality, tired of sirius' "james, that's homophobic" jokes, only because he couldn't make them back. he wasn't ashamed of who he was and he wasn't ashamed of who he was dating because he loved regulus and thats all that mattered. one day a variation of sirius' "james, that's homophobic" jokes pushed him over the edge.

they were sitting in the great hall during dinner and like usual sirius was trying to eat with his left hand while holding his boyfriends hand in his right. "pads, you're gonna make a mess you can go three seconds without holding my hand." the black haired boy's face was slightly dirty and he left remus clean it with a simple spell before responding. "but i like being close, makes me feel more grounded." james, who was sitting across from them deliberately trying to catch the younger black brothers eye, rolled his eyes at his sappy best friend as he returned to his food. "now, jamie lets not be homophobic..." sirius started and james stopped him right there because only regulus was allowed to call him that and he frankly didn't fancy the tone sirius used with the name. "its james, and all i'm saying is if you're so in love you can't eat you may want to rethink some things." remus settled in for another one of his friends petty filled arguments that eventually ended with sirius jokingly calling james homophobic. sirius used humor to cope with being openly gay so james tolerated it, and honestly he wouldn't have an issue with it if he was out himself. "well you've never been in love like this. you, mr. heterosexual, have never known what its felt like to know you could have the one person you feel something for ripped away at any moment for both of you simply being boys." james gritted his teeth because he knew this feeling more than most people and he couldn't say anything. he couldn't openly relate and that hurt. then, james did something stupid.