A Suitable Sidekick

Life couldn’t be better for an Edgy bitty such as himself. He had full run of the house, and his owner spoiled him rotten. He chewed what he wanted when he wanted. He knocked things over without consequence. He made messes left and right (and upside down!). He bit the hand that fed sometimes too, but most importantly, he called the shots.

Imagine his surprise when his owner came home with one of those Runty bittybones- a Cherry! Who was his owner kidding, bringing that weak, pitiful version of himself home with a proud smile on their face like they were giving him some sort of amazing present?

“Say hello to your new little brother,” his owner simpered. Not likely. The Edgy stomped over to the Cherry and shoved him. The Cherry wailed, and their owner scooped him up to comfort him. “Shame on you, Edgy! He’s sensitive,” they scolded before leaving the room, Cherry bitty still cradled in their hands.

What the actual fuck?! Was his owner replacing him with that whiny little shit? He couldn’t believe it! The Edgy raged, breaking his bitty furniture, kicking over any nearby item that his owner might value. He tired himself out gnawing at the human-sized furniture while he waited for them to return and tell him that this was some kind of pathetic joke.

Why would they want a Cherry? Didn’t they love him? He fumed, stomping around the room before curling up in the debris of his bitty home and falling into a fitful sleep. He woke up a few hours later to the sound of gentle sobbing. Cracking one socket open, he grumbled. Fucking Cherry, waking him up. He tried to ignore the noise, but it went on and on and on. He got up, planning to give the Cherry a piece of his mind.

The Cherry sat in the farthest corner of the bitty house with his back to the Edgy. “hey, you!” the Edgy shouted in his harsh, growly voice. “keep it down, will ya?”

The Cherry sniffled. “i’m s-sorry,” he cried in a tremulous tone. “i’m s-so s-sorry. i d-didn’t m-mean to be adopted. i’m s-sure i’ll be r-returned t-tomorrow.” The little shrimp could barely get a single word out without stuttering… and he looked so forlorn and frightened… dammit.

“aww, c’mon. they’re not gonna return ya.” The Edgy gave the Cherry an awkward “there, there” and a pat on the shoulder.

“b-but you h-hate meeeee,” the Cherry wailed with a fresh flood of tears. Edgy was starting to feel terrible for his earlier behavior. He shifted his weight from foot to foot guiltily before responding.

“nah, i don’t hate ya.” The Cherry’s eyelights glimmered with hope at the words. “yer too handsome to hate.”

“b-but i look just like you.”

“exactly.” The Cherry let out a watery chuckle. Huh, at least the pipsqueak had a decent sense of humor. Maybe he could train this pale imitation of himself into a suitable sidekick…

The next morning the bittybones owner approached the bitty house, worried about the condition of the Cherry’s anxiety after spending a night with a jealous, tantrum-throwing Edgy. The Cherry seemed to be doing just fine, however. The Edgy held the Cherry close to his chest with his chin resting on top of the smaller bitty’s skull while the Cherry slept soundly in his protective brother’s embrace.