#jcasa

Finding beauty in a broken world , is finding beauty in the world we live in

Finally, received @iccacademy ICCA level 1 T-shirt. Pic credit:- @sah.chandan007 #pkyblog #pkyvlog #pradeepkumaryadav #thesportingarsenal #jcasa #jcasan #icca #icca1 #icc #cricketcoachingclinic #cricketcoach #cricketlife #coachcricket #coachingyourfuture #certifiedshots #tishirt #tshirt #tshirts (at Nagpurian Orange City - NOC) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTCUt0-iYaj/?utm_medium=tumblr

I told her I need my space, and I could tell it hurt her..i told her I don't regret anything...I just need to process

Well I hung out with a pretty awesome girl last night. We did absolutely nothing but it meant everything. Ok we were pretty good until the night went on.  After drinking a few of course , its always my weakness. We ended up making out a few times ...ok more than a few.. Usually after kissing and the next day things are weird. But not this time everything comes easy with her. I like that shes her self ... or maybe now that I being my self I make it easier for her to be hers . But either way I like this one. She makes things come so easy(:  

I've been in several relationships, some are more remember able  than others. But now I'm single.. have been for a while . And surprisingly I'm okay. I mean don't get me wrong I want to cuddle with someone. Hold them tight kiss them good night and good morning. Share smiles with them and hold there hand while we walk the beach and not even think about tomorrow because all I can see is what I have in front of me. It all sounds wonderful and dreamy, but I rather wait. Do it right with someone who enjoys it as much as I do. So I'm content... I'm not going to try and find love I'm going to let love find me. 

Well there is something's I like to avoid and there's something's I like to talk about. For example I love "love". So I can talk about my relationships and girls easily. Another example I hate "hate", I hate to talk about the things that seem to get to me , like my weaknesses or what makes me most upset. But in this case what I am about to talk about is that I hate that I love you. So its complicated , one breath I know you in another u surprise me and I wouldn't know how to act at times. I don't want to give u all the credit , I know im not as simple minded or clear thoughts as you wish I was. When really you scared [scare] the shit out of me. I don't really know how to explain it ,but you draw me in and I cant control it. When I wasn't true to you , you were true to me , I was weak and selfish to not give u all of me , when in return you gave 100%. I think about you often and what you last said to me. You told me you cared about me, and that your afraid to miss out on someone you thought you could marry. First hearing this was pretty shocking, because I know my past isn't as clean as it should be with you so to hear you still cared was shocking , im a confident person or was or just not with you .. so I just felt unworthy..not good enough .. , then hearing you said you could see your self marring me ! defiantly gave me a baby heart attack.. but really it just didn't make sense to me . I asked you then why did we break up ..you replied with because we were fighting to much .. and you were right we were ..And here we are , u have a girlfriend , im single , we text everyday , your the only one I text btw, I think about u often , but good things , things like how u were sick recently how I wanted to bring you soup and a posted note saying feel better ! and how maybe if we were together I might have brought a rose . But reality hits me and im here at 5:36 am jan 9th writing about u . Friends , I don't know how that feels or sounds in my head , but as long as I still have you in my life then it will settle .