#jbffa

Buzz buzz

Buzz buzz

Buzz buzz

Knock knock

The sun streamed through my window, illuminating the whole room. The clock on the bedside table read 9:30, probably the latest I've been able to sleep, but my body still craved more. Last night had been insane, to say the least. Part of me didn't want to believe that it actually happened. Between meeting my favorite band to making out with the hottest guy in the world, it was the type of stuff that I used to read in fan fics, not someone's actual life, and certainly not mine.

Knock knock on my door again.

"Mandy, are you awake?" Denise's voice came from just beyond it.

"Yeah, come in," I answered, rubbing my eyes a bit and sitting up. Buzz buzz of my phone again and I itched to check it, but she entered the room with a small stack of papers, closing the door behind her. Uh oh. That didn't seem like a good thing.

"I'm glad that we can take a second to talk before getting ready for the day," she started, bringing the vanity chair over by the bed and taking a seat, her face a little serious, and I had a feeling I knew exactly what this was about, "Joe spoke with his father and me this morning, about last night."

My heart sank in my stomach. I knew there were going to be repercussions over the after party, but I didn't think they would be so harsh as having to stop seeing Joe. But, having a relationship with your employer was completely unprofessional.

"Let me start off with, as a mom, I'm thrilled, Mandy," and she reached over with a soft smile, holding my hand in hers, and I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders, "I just want Joe to be happy, and I know he is happy when he is with you. I know you're a good person, and I'm so excited that you two are finally together. But, as your boss, there are a few things we need to take care of."

Take care of. That was good, at least I think it is. It's not total destruction.

“First thing’s first, the NDA. I know, it sucks the fun out of it, but I hope you understand that we need to protect the brand, and the boys. You’ll be in a similar situation as Dani. I hope that’s okay with you?” she cautiously questioned as she let me look over the papers, pen at the ready. This one seemed a lot less painful to sign than the Miley one, mostly because I didn’t want this getting out either. I didn’t want to jeopardize Joe’s career… or my own. If I was going into this business, albeit indirectly, I wanted to make my way on my own, and not just because I’m Joe Jonas’ girlfriend. If Dani and Kevin could do it, then so could I. Taking the pen, I signed and initialed my way into legal privacy.

“I don’t want this getting out either. I’m not exactly one for public relationships, and this was on an extreme scale,” I mused, handing it all back to her.

“I’m so glad we’re all in agreement over this. Like I said, Mandy, I’m absolutely thrilled for you and Joe. I know you’ll treat him right and that your interest in him is genuine,” she smiled, reassuring me, “But, also, this doesn’t change anything for your internship. You are still expected to work as you did, to pull your weight as you did, and you are still an employee of this company. You’ve been doing great so far, so we would hate for this new relationship to become a distraction.”

“No need to worry, Denise. Nothing about me or my work will change,” I promised, and I meant it. I just felt lucky that I still had a job after everything. Denise smiled and leaned over to hug me, but despite her approval, I still had a feeling that this wasn't going to be easy for us.

"How about you get dressed and finish packing up, then come out for some breakfast before we all leave for the airport?" She suggested and I nodded, eager to start a real vacation. We would be staying overnight in Paris tonight before heading down to Cannes, a wonderful little mini-break before going back to LA. I had never been to France, so I was excited to experience that, and it was going to be all the more fun to be going with my boyfriend.

Wow, boyfriend.

I mean, yes, Joe asked me to be his girlfriend, but now that also meant that he was my boyfriend. What does someone do with a boyfriend? Yeah, I got the whole physical part of being in a relationship, but I had never been in one before, so being able to rely on someone was going to be very new to me. Dressing myself in some skinny black jeans, a white v-neck shirt, and slipping on a pair of my old beaten up Chucks, I grabbed my phone and laptop before heading out to join them at the table.

"Morning," I said cheerfully to the table at large, taking a seat next to Joe before opening up my laptop and grabbing a cinnamon roll.

"Good morning," Joe replied with a smile, leaning over to give me a kiss on the cheek. Jesus Christ, he was good, "Whoa, do you ever check your e-mail?" And there it was, that little red number climbing and climbing until it settled somewhere around the 67 mark.

"Every day, several times a day," I said, getting very confused. I never had this many emails, ever. I guess this is why my phone had been buzzing all morning non stop. Clicking through them, a lot were from Steph, one from Krissy, and the rest were all Facebook notifications of messages and emails from the other interns in the program through school. Starting from the bottom, I hit the first one from Steph:

MANDY

URGENT

YOU'RE ON TMZ WITH JOE

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN LONDON?

That dress looks fantastic on you, by the way.

E-MAIL ME BACK ASAP

Love you, Steph

My mouth went dry and my face blanched.

"Uh, guys, it sounds like we might had a little situation on our hands..." Kevin warned, scrolling through his phone, "There's paparazzi downstairs outside the hotel..."

Faster than possible, I got online and opened up every celebrity news sight that I could think of: TMZ, Oh No They Didn't, Just Jared, Perez Hilton, and with each one my stomach dropped more and more.

There I was, in the red dress from last night, posing on the red carpet. Okay, that didn't seem so bad. It was unwanted and annoying, sure, but nothing bad. But then I scrolled a little more.

"Oh my god..." I whispered and Joe looked over, reading.

"Sources close to the Jonas Brothers say that she is an intern, working with the band for the summer, but last night she was posing with Joe Jonas for photos, the pair seen flirting on the red carpet. The Jonas Brothers are no stranger to relationships in the pubic eye; youngest brother Nick was linked to Miley Cyrus just earlier this summer. Representatives for the Jonas Brothers declined to comment."

And then there was a photo of me with Joe, when he came over to tell me I was doing well on the red carpet.

"Can I just crawl into a hole and die now?" I asked, completely mortified, covering my eyes with my hands and sinking back into the chair. I didn't ask for this, I didn't want any of this. I mean, yes, I knew that there were going to be photos of me, and that wasn't what bothered me so much. What did bother me was that not even 20 minutes ago, I signed a contract stating that I wouldn't reveal the nature of my relationship with Joe to anyone, and now it was front page celebrity news. And it put the family in an awkward position, having to lie about it. Right now, this whole fame machine didn't seem like it was worth all this bullshit.

"Mandy, it's fine. It'll be fine. We deal with the press everyday, and we will have to deal with them today too," Joe reassured, gently pulling my hands away from my face, holding them tightly in his own, "These things blow over in a few days, when something else happens."

When I looked him in the eyes, I couldn't help but believe him, that is was all going to be okay. The whole thing was just so embarrassing. I just wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, and do good work, not hiding inside. After the shock of it all wore off, the photo of us was actually a really nice one, Joe looking so handsome in his suit, his tie matching perfectly to my dress, and we looked happy, unguarded and candid.

"That is a really lovely photo of us..." I said softly, relaxing to the idea.

"You're beautiful, Mandy. And now the world knows it," he responded and I couldn't help but lean into him, letting him hold me for a moment. Paparazzi or none, right here, in Joe's arms, I felt safe.

"At least your first picture is a really good one. They caught me mid-chew, eating a cheeseburger," Nick interjected and I had to laugh. He was right, as he always seems to be. This was going to be okay.

The rest of the e-mails were all very similar to Steph's, wanting to know how I turned from a journalism intern into celebrity girlfriend. I just deleted all of them, save for Krissy, who I let know that everything was under control and that my contact hadn't been terminated, and told Steph that I wasn't able to comment. She was smart, she would get the hint, because if nothing had happened between me and Joe, I would just say so.

"Miss Achter has just finished her degree in Journalism and is currently doing a piece about touring with the Jonas Brothers. The nature of Miss Achter's relationship with Joe or any of the members of the Jonas Brothers is strictly professional," Denise read out loud off of a sheet of paper, looking around for reactions.

"Do we have to say why?" I asked sheepishly, tired of a whole drama already.

"It's better to confirm part of their story, rather than outright deny it all," Kevin explained, and I supposed he was right. Denying everything would be lying. Confirming the lesser point of the story misdirected the press and cooled down the heat considerably. Plus, the way it was worded, it didn't make me sound like an intern at all.

"I'm going to get this off to the publicist asap for immediate release, and then it's done. Come on, we leave for the airport in 10," she confirmed and everyone started to clean up, myself included, gathering the last bits of luggage and things in my room. Sitting on the bed for a moment, I sighed.

I really didn't want to leave. I mean, yeah, a vacation with no schedules or insanity would be very welcome, but I wanted to stay in London. I didn't want to leave this hotel. Once we left this hotel, the real world would sink in, and everything that came with it. Photos. Lying. Paparazzi. Once we left this hotel, the boys ceased to be Kevin, Joe, and Nick, they became the Jonas Brothers... And all that came with that title.

The past 48 changed everything. And I didn't want to leave the safety London provided to me. My curiosity was going to kill me though.

Opening up my computer, I couldn’t help but start digging. Google was fairly tame, thankfully, but everyone who used the internet knew that that was only the tip of the iceberg. I needed to go deeper, to the lowest common denominator to find the worst that was being said about me. I needed to go to the tabloids.

More photos of us surfaced, a few from the day before, when we were out and about shopping. The comments were sickening.

She’s using him. She doesn’t give a shit about him, she’s only with him to make a name for herself.

Where did they find this charity case?

Joe would never be interested in her. He could get any girl he wanted, why would he settle for this attention whore?

She’s too old for him! I heard she was 21, way too old.

Shutting the computer quickly, I packed it away in my carryon, not wanting to look anymore. They knew my age. And soon, they would know my name, my job, and that would be enough for them to find out the rest. The whole thing was just so insane. I went from nothing to the person people wanted to know about in less than 12 hours, and I wasn’t okay with it. What if they came after my family, bothered my mom or dad? The whole thing was making me sick to my stomach.

"Everything okay?" Joe asked softly as he stepped into the room, taking a seat on the bed next to me. I didn't want to lie to him and tell him that I was okay, because I clearly wasn't, but I didn't want him to think I regret saying yes, because I don’t. I just wanted everyone else to leave me alone.

“No,” I shook my head before taking a deep breath and looking him in the eye, “But it doesn’t matter. I want to believe that it will be okay."

"Mandy, you're not in this alone. All of us have your back," and I let my head fall onto his shoulder as he rubbed my back, the contact comforting. He was right, I wasn't in this alone. They had all been through it and knew what to do, so as long as I had the Jonas Family on my side, I just had to follow them.

“Hey, we got to go!” Big Rob interrupted, yelling from the doorway. We both jumped, ruining the moment, but a second later I couldn’t help but break down into a fit of the giggles. I had a feeling that true privacy was going to be few and far between, but it didn’t really matter. Joe made it worth it.

We gathered up the rest of our luggage, and I stole Joe’s black beanie, the whole group of us slipping on wayfarer sunglasses as the elevator took us down to the lobby. I could see them, the photographers, waiting just beyond the lobby doors, too many to count. The sight was completely intimidating, even more so than the red carpet last night. It was only about 30 feet or so from the doors to the waiting SUV, but who knew how many pictures they would get in that time. Joe simply took my hand in his, no words or pretense, and that was all I needed to keep my head held high, the doormen swinging the doors open, the flashes almost blinding. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn’t really seem to matter where we went. Arriving at Heathrow: paparazzi. Leaving Orly: paparazzi. Going to the hotel: paparazzi. They were everywhere and they didn’t care if they had already gotten the same picture a thousand times already, they always wanted more. As the East Coast started to wake to the day, the major news outlets picked up the “story,” or rather what they thought the story was, this time with the added official statement. I was exhausted already and it was barely noon. I almost envied Dani and her ability to remain anonymous, but I quickly took those thoughts back. Dani wished she had this problem, not because she wanted the fame or anything as shallow as that, but because it meant that she would be with Kevin. I was incredibly fortunate that my job allowed me to spend time with Joe, and together we could get through this.

The hotel was completely and charmingly typical Parisian and I immediately fell in love with it. We had the whole floor to ourselves with Denise and Kevin Sr in the suite, which meant that once again, I had my own room with a huge comfy bed in it. I knew that it was only for the one night, but I loved it all the same. Taking a moment to lay down on my bed, my phone screen changed over to a Skype video call... From my mom.

"Hello?" I answered, a slight panic running through me. I had planned on calling her and explaining everything when we got back to the States, but I guess that couldn't wait.

"Hey! Where are you in the world, miss jet-setter?" She asked, unusually chipper for 7 am her time. She was just getting ready for work at this time in the morning.

"We just landed in Paris, just for the night. Tomorrow we go down to Cannes for a vacation before heading back to LA," I informed, still confused. I had emailed her a copy of our itinerary way back when I first got it, so she knew where I was. She was just making small talk.

"Must be nice to have someone paying for your vacations. Anyway, anything new or exciting happen?" She knew. Of course she knew. If she hadn't seen it break on the Internet, one of my aunts most definitely called and told her.

"Mom, what have you heard and what do you want to know?" I asked, too exhausted from the day to deal with her beating around the bush. Joe softly knocked the the doorframe and I waved him in, mouthing to him 'It's my mom.' Without missing a beat, he came over and sat on the bed, not even fazed by the thought of "meeting" my mom already. I supposed it was only fair, being that I had already met his entire family.

"Aunt Carolyn called. She saw something on the news about the Jonas Brothers and thought she caught a glimpse of you with them. You should be proud of me, I got on Google all by myself and googled you, and a bunch of articles popped up, saying you have a boyfriend now?" Of course it was Aunt Carolyn. If it wasn't her, it would have been one of the other ones. My mom is one of ten, and although I loved growing up with a huge family, the downside of it was that everyone was always in everyone's business. "Mandy, is someone there? Who are you talking to?" Sitting up, I moved the phone over so that both Joe and I were in the frame.

"Mom, this is Joe, my boyfriend of all of... What? 12 hours or so?" And I looked over at him, trying to figure out the math. We had spent more time sleeping than actually being in a relationship, yet today, we were the most interesting couple in the world.

"Oh!" My mom replied, completely taken aback.

"Hi Mrs. Achter, I'm Joe. It's very nice to meet you," he said, waving into the camera. My mom was still shocked, her mouth open, speechless.

"You can't tell Aunt Carolyn. You can't tell anyone, mom," I rushed, "I'm not even supposed to tell anyone. This whole thing has to be kept quiet, which is how I prefer it. The boys asked me to go along with them to the awards last night as their guest, and now the paparazzi are obsessed with trying to figure out who I am. But, don't worry, it's all under control here. So, please, don't say anything to anyone. Please."

I didn't want to beg her, but I basically was. I had to. My mom didn't keep secrets from her sisters, and I knew that this was going to be very hard for her, but I hope she understood that careers were on the line if she did say anything.

"It's very nice to meet you too, Joe. Did you have a good time in London? You know, Mandy is obsessed with all things English," she finally replied, and I was able to breathe a little easier.

"Yes, I did. She's an excellent tour guide. She brought me to Harrods and made me spend all my money," he joked with her, and my mom laughed a little.

"She got me a teapot from Harrods for my birthday a few years ago, but I've never been there myself," she continued, "Okay, well, I have to get going. Just thought I would try to see what was going on. Joe, it was nice to meet you and hopefully some day I'll meet you in person. Mandy, be safe. I love you," and we said our goodbyes, ending the call. I let myself fall back into the pillows, breathing a sigh of relief.

This whole thing was becoming much bigger than I ever imagined it could be. I felt so foolish going to the awards last night. If I hadn't gone, none of this would have ever happened. But then again, if I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have this amazing guy who was currently stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry," was all I said, feeling like a piece of shit.

"I'm not," he whispered, catching my eye before continuing, "Mandy, you have nothing to be sorry for. You haven't done anything wrong. And no matter what anyone says or writes or tries to get a photo of, we know the truth, and that's untouchable. You just keep doing what you're doing."

Joe laid down next to me, moving his arm under me, holding me. His scent, shaving cream and his cologne enveloped me, instantly making me feel better.

"I'm... Scared," I said softly, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"It's overwhelming, for sure," he replied in equally hushed tones, nodding, "It was for me, and still is. But, if you want my honest opinion, I think you're in a very powerful position.” I couldn’t help but look up to him in confusion, crinkling my forehead. Powerful? I was weak, if I was anything. I was at their mercy. They could write anything about me and I had no way of stopping them. Not to mention, the comments and I shuddered to think of what the fans will say, “Yes, powerful. Mandy, you are the press. You’re a journalist. They want a story, and you have the ability to write it, to show them who you are. You don’t owe them anything.” and he took my hands in his again, moving so that we were face to face.

This was a game, and I had the upper hand. I could write this story, my story, and define who I am in this world for myself. Yes, being with Joe allowed the cameras to be turned on me, but it was up to me what I did with that attention. He was right, I had a lot more power than I thought. And I wasn’t going to waste it.

“How do you know the exact right thing to say?” I asked, leaning in to his lips softly, wanting to just melt into him and stay right here all day.

“Not always, remember? I did say that I hated you after our first kiss,” he joked, barely breaking our contact.

"Understandably," I laughed, "I did tell you to fuck off..." But he interrupted me, kissing me hard, taking me off guard. I couldn't help but sigh into the kiss, loving how he could make me instantly drunk. It was addicting and a girl could get used to being kissed like this, full of longing, like he needed me to live.

"I'm sorry, I completely interrupted you," he said in mock apology, letting me catch my breath.

"How rude," I chastised, sitting up and straightening my shirt, really hoping no one walked past my door and saw us. It was bad timing anyway. My brain was buzzing and I needed to write.