❤
Hug for the first time (this is very long, sorry)
She was broken. It was finally downing to her how death was a reality so tangible. If calm was a mask she used, then it was now broken in pieces. She sat alone with a cup of tea on her hands, just feeling her heart beating in hurried beats. She remembered everything she learnt from her psychology books, and she saw clearly how her brain would respond to this kind of situation. It was like a movie was becoming reality, and she was taking the main role in a story where the hero dies in the end. Not like she considered herself any heroine, but wasn’t that just how people saw themselves?
She held the cup with trembling hands and imagined if she would cry. She felt her chest heavy, but without any sign of tears. She sighed, and someone heard her.
"Hey.", Milla looked up to see Jay. “Are you ok?”, Milla didn’t know much about him, other than that he looked mainly harmless, unlike many people she knew. He had a somewhat worried expression and had dark circles under his eyes. It was so easy to her to notice how he wasn’t sleeping much.
She was feeling lethargic, like she was under the effects of some kind of drug, and took a awfully long time to fee like reacting to his presence there. She left his question hanging and took another sip of her tea.
"Hard to believe what happened right?", he sat by her side and tried to relax.
Milla looked at him for a moment, and it was enough to tell how was nervous. He was somewhat fidgety, messing with his fingers or anything he could touch. His blue hair was now a little messy, and she wondered if he was messing with his hair as well. She liked how he tried not to occupy a lot of space, staying a few inches away from her.
"Yeah…",was the only answer she gave him.
Frankly, it was all he needed. He carried a conversation by himself, he started to talk about what was worrying him, sounding concerned for her as well, mentioning things he thought maybe were stressing her as well.
"Everything was ok until yesterday, I would never think things could go so bad so fast! What if everyone else is dead? DO you think your friends are ok? And your family? Actually, never mind, I think they maybe ok, I’m sure! And I can’t eat anything, it just tastes gross, I lost my appetite, you know? Do you think we will make it? Ah, no, forget it, we are going to get out of this situation! Hey, is this tea good? Maybe I’ll try drinking tea too-"
"Jay.", she turned to him. He needed to stop talking like that. Not like it was doing anything bad to her, like stressing her more, but she needed silence. “Calm down, Jay. I know we are going to make it.”, she lied.
He was so smaller than her. She was thin and tall, but wherever she looked, she only saw a scrawny man, worrying for her while he should try to sleep. It somehow made her feel a little less tired and empty inside.
They stared at each other for a moment, and she came up with something very unlike her.
"Do you mind if I… Hug you?", she knew some people were scared of her, but why would he be scared of her when there was something so much more scary waiting for them?
He nodded and let his arms lift, waiting for her. The blonde left her cup by her side and slid her arms around him. They barely touched, but she rest her forehead on his shoulder and relaxed. She felt when his stiff shoulder relaxed as well, and a heavy sigh left his lips. She tried to remember sweet dreams she had while hugging the shorter man, but it proved to be difficult. Anyway, she still felt as if she was much smaller, like she was a kid. It felt nice, and somehow calmed her more than the tea did.
They didn’t hug for long, and parted just as it started to feel awkward.
"Thanks Jay.", she said softly.
"You’re welcome.", she could almost hear the smile on his voice.
