#jaredandali

I’m not sure how I am doing this, but I’m literally working on 4 different stories simultaneously. I hope it isn’t confusing for any of you reading more than one of mine at a time. I’m going to try to figure out how to create a link at the top that has each one and a master list attached. Hopefully that will help both you and I. Anyway... (also the tags weren’t working for some... I don’t know why.)

"I love you. My sweet, funny, adorable Ali." Jared said out of nowhere.

I bolted right up. I was shocked, which goes without saying. Do I say it back? Can I say it back? I couldn't ignore it. It was plain as day that he said it. My reaction clearly evident that I heard it too. I stared at him incredulously. I lost all motor function skills. I just sat there looking bewildered.

"Ali, it's true. I'm madly, deeply, head over heels in love with you. You don't have to say it back, in fact I don't want you to say it back unless you mean it. But this feeling in my heart, body, and soul is undeniable. I've only ever felt the same way about five people before. I know what this is. And I'm sorry if it scares you or if it's a terrifying prospect, but I'm not going to hide anything from you. I promised that to you the night you found out about Jamie and I lying to you. I promised honesty, and here it is." Jared spoke from the heart.

"Jared, are you absolutely sure you love me, are IN love with me?

"Without a shred of a doubt. You are the last person I ever plan on feeling this way about. I'm prepared to love you as long as you let me and even beyond that. I'm going to love you whether you want me to or not."

I snatched him into my arms, hugging him with all my might. He was beyond anything I could ever have imagined. He was my everything.

"I love you, Jared Joseph Leto. I have loved you from the minute I first watched an interview with you years ago. I knew I loved you. I knew I was in love with you. I don't know how, but it was true. I haven't stopped loving you and being under your spell ever. Even when I was mad at you, I couldn't not still love you. You have been the answers to all my prayers. Thank you for giving me a chance! I love you, I love you, I freaking love you, Leto!" I showered him with kisses to his forehead, temples, cheeks, and settling on his mouth. He laughed. When I stopped, he pulled away to look at me. We sat there staring into each other's eyes for what felt like every bit of five minutes. Neither of us saying a word. Just drinking each other in.

I finally broke the silence and said, "so what now, sir?" He lightly moaned at the word sir. He studied me a few moments longer then ordered me to undress. I did exactly as I was told and grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head. My breasts bounced and my nipples were instantly hard. He watched my every move, not saying a word. I slowly pulled off my pajama bottoms under the bedding. He grabbed the sheets and bedspread and tossed them completely off the bed. I was completely exposed and my natural instinct was to try to hide myself. He was having none of that, pulling my arms from my body.

Still not saying a word, he positioned me the way he wanted me. I was laying flat on my back. He had my arms raised above my head and my legs spread eagle. I was uncomfortable being this bare and on display, but I didn't dare move. He got up and rummaged through his suitcase, pulling out a tie. I wasn't expecting him to have one.

"Oh little Ali, I'm so glad I brought this. I'm going to tie your wrists. They are to remain above your head. Your legs can't be restrained to anything so they will stay open like this okay?"

I nodded.

"You're going to have to tell me this is okay. I need words. Are you alright with this?"

"Yes." I breathed out heavily.

“Ali, this is just a small sliver of a taste of what it means to play, we won't even need a safe word. Do you trust me to worship you the way you deserve?"

"With all my heart."

He smiled wide.  He delicately wrapped the tie around my wrists and pulled it into a knot.  Then he started caressing my face, giving me a gentle kiss on my forehead.  I started to shiver from the lack of clothing and blankets.  He walked over to the thermostat and turned the heat up.

I watched him like a hawk, curious as to what he had in store for me.  When he turned around he said, "I think I want you blindfolded.  It'll make this so much more pleasurable."

"No, Jared.  I can't do that."

"No?"

"I'm not ready." I admitted.

"Okay, I'm not going to push you into anything, so I've got a better idea.  You're not to cum tonight unless I tell you that you can.  If you do, I will take you over my knee and spank you."

I gulped and sucked in too much air and started coughing.  He came back to the bed.  "Ali, you said you trust me.  Work with me here.  If I need to punish you, it will be for good reason.  Withholding an orgasm is an intense experience.  If you do as I say, you will have the most gratifying night of your life."

"I'll try.  But I'm not sure about the spanking part."

"Then I guess you'll have to try really hard then."

He climbed onto the bed straddling my waist.  His hands were expertly moving down my arms to my chest.  He pinched both nipples simultaneously sending a shockwave through my body.  "So sensitive." He muttered.  He started tracing little circles faintly on my stomach and the sensation caused my whole body to tingle.  He was moving at a snails pace and I was enjoying every second of it.  He moved down to the edge of the bed and bent my knees just enough to get a good view of my glistening slit. 

"You are so beautiful."  He said as he ran his hands up and down the inside of my thighs, again barely touching and sending jolts directly to my core.  Without warning he ran his finger between my folds and began rubbing my clit.  The contact making me almost close my legs.

"Stay put."

I regained control rather fast and stayed in the moment, enjoying his delightful assault on my tender bud.  Jared was beyond sexy and just looking at him do this was going to send me over the edge.  I closed my eyes.  The irony not lost on me since I didn't want to be blindfolded.  Not watching him, did indeed make it that much more alluring.

He deftly slid a finger inside and began slowly fucking me.  I arched my back and felt a slow build inside of me.  He slowed his movements down, helping me escape an impending orgasm.  He broke contact and I ached not having his touch.  Still not looking, I hadn't realized that he had completely shifted himself.

If it weren't for the beard, I wouldn't have had any inclination of what's to come.  But I knew his mouth was inches from my sex.  He blew a faint breath and then I felt his tongue licking my juices up.

"Mmm Jared, I need you inside me."

"Patience, sweet Ali."

He brushed his lips over my clit, kissing me and then sucking.  I was being driven to the brink only to have him stop, again and again.  This was pure torture.

He slid two fingers into my hole and pumped them in and out, all the while, sucking and nibbling on my clit.  I was so close, I began to tense.

"Don't you dare."

I was trying to reign it in.  I wanted to follow his rules, but I didn't know how.  I started crying.  He stopped.

"Open your eyes Baby."

I opened them and he was hovering over me.  "I'm sorry, you aren't ready.  We need to work on your control.  Just relax."

He pulled his pants off and I saw him stroke himself a few times then he glided into me.  He filled me slowly and completely.  Sliding in and out softly and taking his time.  I wrapped my legs around him and urged him to move faster, but he wasn't in any rush.  I knew I was close and I was still unsure if I was allowed to cum.  He answered my unspoken question.  "Let go baby."  I tensed up and then exploded around his throbbing cock inside me.  "That's it baby.  I love you.  You're perfect." 

Jared continued pushing in and out agonizingly slow.  He wasn't ready for his release and was just basking in the moment.  He nuzzled my neck and kissed everywhere his mouth could reach.  I wanted badly to run my fingers through his hair, but couldn't due to the restraints.  He reached up and tugged the tie off my wrists, reading my mind as he always does.  I took the opportunity to run my hands down to his ass and squeeze, then bringing them up and fisting them in his long hair. 

He rocked his hips back and forth more intense each time and was finally giving in.  "I need you to cum again babe."  He was erratic in his actions.  He shifted his angle which hit my g spot perfectly.  I came undone and he followed behind immediately.

We laid there entwined with each other.  Neither of us wanting to break contact.  I knew we couldn't stay like that long, so I relished in it. The way he held me, told me he really did love me.

We were both spent and neither of us had any energy other than to break the connection and roll into each other's arms.  He reached over and turned the forgotten TV off.  Followed by the lights on the nightstand.  It was completely dark but I could see his outline.  I traced my fingers on his handsome face and couldn't stop thinking about how lucky I was.

"Ali, I wanted you to have an amazing experience tonight and I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Oh, but it did Leto.  It was pure bliss.  Thank you."

“My job is to make you feel special and cared for. If ever I don’t, you will have to speak up and tell me. Deal?”

I found his hand and grabbed hold, shaking it. “Deal. And if I ever do anything that upsets you, no matter what it is. You have to tell me. Communication is the key to a relationship. No secrets, and we talk everything through, right?”

He shook my hand back and said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I thought back to the earlier conversation and was intrigued by what he had confessed. I needed to know all aspects of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We were truly still in the business of getting to know each other. As open as his life is because of him being famous, there’s still the private things that people don’t know. “Hey Leto, wanna play twenty questions?”

It was dead silence, then a chuckle. “Let’s make it even more interesting... let’s play truth or dare.”

This could and would be fun, so naturally I was up for it. “Sure.”

“Alright Ali, you have a question, so you go first.”

“Okay... truth or dare, Jared.”

“Dare.” I made a sound of shock and then reached for a pillow, hitting him with it.

“Okay, Okay... truth.”

“That’s better, so earlier you said you’ve only ever loved five people before. Who were they?”

He let out a breath and then answered with no hesitation. “My mom, my brother, my grandparents, and an ex girlfriend.”

I knew who the ex was but I wanted him to say it. I didn’t know if he still had feelings for her and I know she was married and many years had moved them beyond that point in their lives. Still he needed to say it and it would never be brought up again. “Cameron?”

“Yes. Okay my turn. Truth or dare?”

“You choose.”

“Okay, truth. Other than a Mars show, what was the last concert you went to?”

“Oh that’s too easy... but I’ll answer anyway. It was AC/DC.”

“Ali, you are just too fucking cute.”

We played the game for about 15 minutes not once choosing dare. The questions were lighthearted and fun, nothing too serious as we were both really sleepy and more so just wanting to hear each other’s voices. Then we both fell asleep.

And just like that, Wonderland is back! (Y’all it survived Thanos snap after all) Geez, I missed Jared and Ali so much!! Enjoy!

I was surprised at first when Jared grabbed the bottle of brown liquor, but he was nothing if not a team player. We all loosened up rather quickly and I knew we were in for a long night.  I started shuffling the cards and looked to my two friends.  "Asshole, right?"  They nodded.

Jared's confused look was really adorable. "Jare, asshole is a game.  Let me explain the rules to you.  Girls we are going to have to ease him into this, he's a newbie and doesn't drink."  I explained the rules and how you don't want to end up being the asshole at the end of the round.  He caught on quickly and surprisingly was better at it than us three.  Especially considering we along with our group of friends had been playing it for at least five years. Darlene was not amused that she had been asshole two out of the three times we played and we all could tell from her not so subtle sighs and shrugs.  Usually when we played she would be the one doing most of the "winning."  At any rate, our hearts weren't really in it and we were getting tipsy a little too fast since we hadn't ate.

The food arrived and we were all happy to finally have something to do other than drink.  No one was speaking as we all consumed fries, burgers, pizza, and whatever else was available. We laughed a little at how much food we were devouring, then as if we all on cue thought about Nicky at the same time we started to cry. It was completely emotional in the room. I don't think we were ever going to be normal again as a group. The pain was going to be too much.

When we all seemed to be stuffed to the brim, Darlene started to shuffle the cards and set up for another game, when Jared grabbed her arm and stopped her.  The look of shock on Darlene was hysterical to me.  She was the alpha of every group.  Even her husband knew that she was the head of the household, giving in to her every desire.  "Please, don't." He said.  She looked to me and I nodded in agreement.

"Well, why the fuck not?" Dar questioned us.

"Because we are tired, we have jet lag, and we have a big day tomorrow.  Let's just call it a night and we can catch up more tomorrow. Please, Dar?"  I pleaded with her.

"Fine, but I'm breaking into MY mini bar when I get back to the room.  Thanks, Jared for the free booze. You're a doll."  She said and then leaned in and kissed his temple.  She stepped out of the room and said, "Come on Heather, we aren't wanted anymore." Heather got up and followed her to the door like a little puppy.

"Dar, that's not..." Jared stopped me. "Let them go." The door closed with a loud thud.

"Jared, I'm so sorry. I should have warned you about how crass she can be. I fear she may make me look badly. But you don't know the history or the stories behind our friendship."

"You're right, she does come off a little strong and I have to admit, I can't see how the two of you even know each other. I'd like to find out. Tell me while I clean up?" He got up and started picking up the liquor bottles and trashing them in the wastebasket.

"Okay, it's a doozy. You ready to hear some not so good things about your.... umm.... me?"

"Ali, you're my girlfriend. Just because we haven't actually said it out loud doesn't make it not true, so go ahead and call yourself that from this moment going forward, ok?"

"Alright, I guess I'll dive right in. I met Darlene at church." Jared spun around to look at me and smirked. "Yes, church, Jared. We aren't all heathens like you." He laughed, "uh huh."

"Well, it's true. We met at church. I was very active. My parents made us go as kids, but once I was older, I had the choice and I chose to still go. Silver Lake Baptist Church had a really big group of kids my age. We were teenagers. There really wasn't much to do in that po dunk town. So we went to church. It beat sitting at home.  Anyway, my cousin Lynne was always picking up strays.  Animals and people.  She has a kind heart, much kinder than mine.  One Saturday night we all met at church to go somewhere, probably bowling or skating... something along those lines, and in walks Lynne with Darlene.  I had never seen her before, but I was used to always being the center of attention.  I guess I sensed how strong of a personality Dar has and didn't want her to steal the spotlight. I immediately started picking on her.  It didn't matter to me that I was at church.  So it started with her weight, she has always been a bigger girl.  Then I found out her mom worked at the casino.  So I made some snide remark along the lines of, "my family plays the games there, we don't work them."  As if that somehow meant I was better than she was.  I don't know what got into me, but I just kept going until we were back at the church and she broke out in tears.  It was time to leave so I caught a ride with Lynne and Dar.  We dropped her off, so I knew where she stayed.  The next day feeling so guilty, I went to her house and knocked on the door, she answered and asked me in these exact words: "what the hell do you want?" I apologized and we became friends... through the years there's been a lot of ups and downs.  I've seen her go from raising her own self practically because her mom couldn't be bothered to do it, to being kicked out of her moms house because the many guys she brought over didn't like her.  I was there when she was being abused and then later when she met her husband.  She's tough on the outside because she always had to be.  She's never had it easy.  Three years ago she had a son who died of SIDS.  She's just never caught a break."  I began to cry. "As bitchy as she is, I get her. And I'm not really any different from her. I was a bitch to her in the beginning. That part of me still exists."

——————————

Ali confessed some darkness about her while I cleaned up, and it seemed to me that she has remained friends with Darlene out of guilt all these years. I felt bad. The two of them had a history, but that didn't mean they had anything in common other than the past. I didn't like that she was beating herself up.

"Ali, you're not a terrible person. You were a child. You did childish things.  Sometimes people are in our lives for a season, they fulfill their purpose and then they go.  It's okay to move on."

“I don't want to walk away from so many years of friendship with her, that would be a bad thing to do."

"Ali, you have nothing in common with her and I'm gonna be honest here, it seems like this life, the one you left behind for greener pastures was left for a reason.  These people all have issues with alcohol and drugs.  I watched Shannon spend years of his life fighting those demons.  Most times those battles can't be won.  They'll suck you down with them."

I watched her as she slowly started to realize I was right, taking in each one of my words and essentially chewing it over in her head.  I know she didn't like the idea that everyone she knew in her past growing up was essentially nothing more than just a means to her being where she was today.  They did not define her.  They could never be remotely anything as beautiful a soul as she was.  And for fucks sake, she deserved to feel better about who she was as a person.

"The girl sitting before me... excuse me, the woman... she is bright, beautiful, funny as hell, and more special than she will ever give herself credit for.  You have me now.  These people can and will move on. You are not the sum of these parts.  They aren't even a fraction of who you are.  And who you are is my girlfriend.  Say it, Ali.  Be proud.  I'm proud of you and your accomplishments.  You got this old bastard for a boyfriend.  Many tried, none came even close.  Say it, Ali."

“Uhhh"

I gave her the look.  The one that said, do it or else.

"I'm your girlfriend." She said meekly.

“No, babe.  Say it loud."

"I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"That's right, babe.  And don't you forget that.  You're mine.  And I'm your best friend now."

I wanted to tell her right then that I was in love with her, but I knew it was too soon.  Or maybe it wasn't.  But I didn't want to press my luck.  Besides, I wasn't a complete asshole that I'd make her stop all contact with her friends from North Carolina.  She would do that on her own terms and timeline.  But she knew she had a new life going forward, and her future was going to be so bright.

In fact, my first goal was to get her writing again.  It was her dream.  And I knew she would be perfect at it just by listening to her stories.  They were all so colorful and unique.  She had a way of really getting you to feel like you were there in that moment.  I could hear her talk for hours.

“I was one of them once, you know... there wasn’t anything to do when we got older but to drink and fuck around with drugs.” Ali said so low I almost didn’t hear it.

“Oh for fucks sake, Ali. Seriously, what did I do as a teenager? I know you know.”

“Sold drugs.”

“Yes, and do I do it now? Do I drink now? Do I go and break into peoples houses now? No. People change. You have changed. How can you not see this? You changed the minute you decided your life didn’t belong here anymore. So can we concede that fact and stop beating ourselves up over bettering ourselves while others choose not to?”

She nodded and accepted that I was right. I was finally done cleaning up the mess we had all made and I was in desperate need of my “Ali cuddling session.” I walked to the bed and lowered myself into it. She followed suit. Once both of us were in bed, I reached for the remote and turned on the tv.

“What would you like to watch babe?”

“Something funny. Doesn’t matter what. You choose.”

I flipped through rapidly until I spotted Gilligan’s Island. This would be fine because I thought it would be nothing more than just background noise. Boy, was I wrong. Cute little Ali was full of surprises, yet again.

“Oh my God! I love this show. I never understood why it was Gilligan’s island and not the Professors or the Captains, or even the old rich couple. I mean if anyone had the money to buy an island it would be them, I mean I know they didn’t buy the island but still, just seemed weird he was just the skipper. And he was kinda a doof. Ginger was way prettier than Mary Anne, but I guess I can appreciate that...”

I planted my lips on her to get her to shut up. If I hadn’t she would have rambled forever, no doubt in my mind. I kissed her lustfully, and wrapped my arms around her in a huge embrace. She sighed into me. It was the first time she truly loosened up since she got here.

“I love you. My sweet, funny, adorable Ali.” The words tumbled out of my mouth.

She tore herself from my grasp. Sat right up. And stared at me as if I had three heads.

Happy thanksgiving everyone! (I hope this chapter isn’t too bad.)

She barely had the door closed when I pounced on her. I had only known her physically twice and I needed to be inside her again. She squealed with delight at the contact and my lips couldn't decide where they wanted to taste, suck, and explore first. She had a fist full of my hair and she was breathing heavily.

I had her arms restrained above her head and her body was pinned to the door. I was painfully aware that my erection was digging into her stomach but I knew release would be in a matter of moments. I was kissing her neck so hard I knew she'd have a hickey by the morning.

"Jared." She said almost inaudibly.

"Hmm" I responded.

"I've been on a plane for hours and then at the hospital even longer... I need a shower. I'm germy."

I released her. She was right, we both needed to clean up so we didn't get sick. She was dead on about me being a germaphobe. I backed away from her.

"Okay. In the shower. NOW!" I half yelled and half growled.

She proceeded to walk into the bathroom just as she had been told. I stood at the doorway watching her every move. First she turned the shower on and tested the temperature, moving the nozzles this way and that until she finally got the right combination. She released her hair from its ponytail and sat the band on the counter. Next she shimmied out of her clothes seductively and I knew she did that just for me. My cock instantly twitched. I couldn't take this any longer.

I walked in and grabbed her by the middle pushing her into the shower.  I was still clothed but I couldn't give two shits. I pushed her up against the wall as the spray from the shower soaked us both.

"You're being very naughty, you know that?"

"What? You didn't like what you saw?" She purred.

"I always like what I see when I look at you."

I let go of her and grabbed the complimentary shampoo, pouring half of the contents into my hand.  I moved her so her hair could get fully wet and then proceeded to wash her hair for her while massaging her scalp.  Then I took the soap and lathered it onto her chest, arms and down her stomach.  She bore her eyes into me.

"Hasn't anyone ever done this for you before?" I questioned.

"Not at all.  But I like it.  I could get used to this."

I rubbed the soap in and then moved my hands down her right leg and back up her left.  I parted her legs and ran my soapy palm into her sex.  She softly hummed as I did.  Once she was thoroughly rinsed I turned the attention to myself.

I undressed quickly while she stood there and watched my every move.  I took the remaining shampoo and washed my hair.  I quickly washed the rest of my body, while she studied me.

"Jared I've never had sex in a shower but I very much want to right now."

She reached her hand down and started stroking my dick.  She started slow but picked up the pace when I pushed my body forward.  She was timid and it was obvious that she was unsure of how to proceed.  I wanted to let her figure it out on her own so I allowed her the opportunity to delve into her sexual desires.  She knew what she wanted and what she wanted was the same for me.  There was no wrong way to go.

She lowered herself down onto her knees and looked up at me for approval.  I nodded.  She wrapped her mouth around the head of my cock and sucked slowly.  Her tongue darted around the tip in the most delicious of ways.  I watched her glide my cock down her throat as much as she could take.  I wasn't going to push her into taking my entire length tonight.  She bobbed her head back and forth, each time faster than the last.  I wouldn't last long if she kept going so I tugged on her hair for her to stand.

"Turn around baby."

She did as I asked. I bent her over so that her hands were touching her feet. When she got a hold of her ankles I parted her cheeks and admired the view. I loved that she kept up a Brazilian wax. I ran my fingers down her slit and felt how ready she was for me. She was practically gushing.

"Please, Jared. I need to feel you."

I tugged myself and with one hand holding her waist and the other lining myself up, I slowly entered her. We both stilled a moment while she stretched around me. Moving my hips back and forth I drove my cock in and out, each time deeper than the last.

Her moans filled the air. I thought to myself that I'd love to record her sounds so I could hear them anytime I wanted. 

"You're so sexy Baby.  How do you feel?"  I asked as I plunged in and out of her.

"I feel uhh, oh Jared.  I feel wanted.  Ohhhh, you mmmm make me feel so umm fucking beautiful!"

"You are beautiful baby!"

I kept up my assault becoming more hurried.  Fucking Ali was my new favorite hobby and I was going to become addicted.

She was tightening around me and I knew she was finding her release.  Her moans were louder and her body was getting weaker the closer she was getting.

"Mmmm, may I cum sir?" She asked.

"You may."

She exploded and violently shook, while screaming my name.  I AM definitely recording her next time.

If it wasn't for the water becoming cool, I'd have kept fucking her senseless all night in this position, but I was ready to lay in bed with my arms around her.

I swiftly pounded myself into her harder and more rushed until I was swearing and shouting her name.

"Ali, fuck. Oh my God, ALI."

I came vigorously and lazily pulled out of her.  My cum sliding down her leg was a sight to see.  I trailed my finger along its path bringing it back to her entrance and pushed my finger into her hole. 

"Baby, let me clean you up and then we'll go snuggle and watch tv."

She nodded and I rinsed her and myself off.  Once out of the shower I wrapped a towel around her and addressed the elephant in the room.

"Ali, twice you've asked me if you can cum.  Are you.  I mean. Do you want to play?"

"I've never done it, but I do want to.  I want it all with you. Sweet and sensual and then sometimes I want rough and kinky.  Handcuffs, blindfolds, hot wax.  You name it?"

I deliberated what she was saying in my mind and believed she was truly open to exploring these things.  She'd be a perfect submissive as I had previously speculated.

"When we get back to LA, we will discuss this further."

We both agreed that we would talk about it later while we dressed for bed.  Just as we were getting settled there was a knock on the door.  I hadn't called room service and I know she hadn't either.  I looked at her and she shrugged.  After a few more knocks I padded to the door and opened it to find two young women standing on the other side.

Both of their jaws were wide and an expression of surprise was on their faces. They knew who I was clearly and I had a good feeling of who they were.

"Umm I'm so sorry, I think we have the wrong room." The red head said while the brunette just stared.

"You must be Darlene and Heather?"

"Leto, who is it?" Ali questioned from within the room.

"Omg Darlene, it's Jared Leto." Heather said in a delayed response.

"Yes, I am." I proudly announced.

"Duh, Heather. Who the hell else would it be? Are you serious Alice?" She spoke to both women, one not yet revealing herself from beyond the door.

I looked back behind me and Ali had hidden herself behind the wardrobe. The jig was up but cute little Ali seemed to think she could continue her ruse. I chuckled.

"Ali, come out. They know you're in here. Actually ladies, come in, please."

The three girls were silently having a conversation in what appeared to be a modern day showdown. None of them wanting to say the wrong thing out loud.  Finally the red head spoke first.

"I'm not going to even ask how you know Jared, why he is here in this room with you now, or any of the other million dollar questions. What I am going to ask is why you pretended to be here alone and why you think this is a vacation when our best friend is in the hospital right now and our other friend is laying dead in a morgue back in Williamstown?"

"Dar, it's not like that. I just..."

"If I may interject. First off, it's nice to meet some of Ali's friends, but you have it all wrong. I followed her here. As you can surmise we are seeing each other. I'm here for support. This is not a vacation."

"Thanks Jared. Dar, Heather... I didn't want you to know he was here because this isn't about me. It's about Gemma."

"And Nicky." Heather offered.

"Yes, of course. Nicky too."

The three of them started crying all at the same time. I figured they needed time together and started gathering my things. Before I turned to leave the room they were hugging.

"Don't leave Babe." Ali put forth her arm to stop me.

I didn't want to have to get dressed and go find other things to do in a city I was unfamiliar with so I reluctantly agreed to stay.  I was here for support, come what may and right now she did need me to be strong for her.

"We came to ask if you wanted to get something to eat.  Neither of us have eaten yet and it's 7 pm."

"I can order room service." I offered.  So much for snuggles with Ali, I thought.

"Would it be okay with you Jared, if we break into the mini bar?  I think we need a few stiff drinks too?"  Ali asked.

I knew why she was asking. A: I don't drink and B: she knew the reason the accident happened was most likely alcohol induced.  Never the less, I knew the value of drinking after the loss of someone you love so I welcomed the social lubrication.

"Yes, just don't overdue it."

"Ohhh and I have some playing cards in my purse.  Who's in for poker?"  Heather clapped her hands together.

I moved the table so the four us could all sit.  The girls took all the bottles of liquor out and arranged them on the table.  Ali got a pen and paper from the desk and sat it down in the spot she claimed for herself.  I picked up the phone and called down to room service, ordering damn near everything on the menu.  We were in for a long night it would seem.

"Alright Leto, I know you don't drink but we are gonna play some drinking games so you may have to do shots of water." Ali laughed.

Heather opened 3 bottles and handed Ali and Darlene one each.  She raised her hand up and said, "To Nicholas Moultrie!"

I grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and said, "I'll drink to that! May he Rest In Peace."

Ali whispered, "thank you." And smiled her dazzling smile.  We tipped the bottles back and the liquid danced it's way down my throat.

Okay I’m trying my hands at a masterlist for the first 12 chapters to make it easier on everyone. Hopefully this works....

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

I’m on a roll tonight... maybe even 3 chapters if we are so lucky. Anyway authors note - going forward for a few chapters there will be talk of drug use and the like. This may be upsetting to some, so please proceed with caution.

I had a really long night at the hospital. I saw Gemma's mom Paula only once and all she could tell me is they were taking Gem to surgery. That was hours ago. I had long forgotten what patience was and paced up and down the hall a few hundred times.

Gemma was a friend whom I had seen battle her share of demons over the past seven years. She came into my life during a time when we were all experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Her situation made her experimentation a little more severe. Her stepfather had been having an affair and the woman he was seeing held her and her mother at gunpoint for reasons none of us will ever know. She had her man, what more could she have wanted?

At any rate Gemma had been through some tough shit and when we had all decided drugs were overrated she had just kept spiraling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.

We had a strong group of friends that no matter what we always got together every weekend and hung out. Nicky was handsome and the life of the party so when he and Gemma started seeing each other it wasn't a surprise to any of us. I had had a crush on him but he was much more suited for her than me.

Nicky also had his share of trouble. When he was a baby his mother used smuggled drugs in his diaper from South America to North Carolina. One time a boyfriend of hers thought it'd be funny to prick him with a used heroin needle. He was sent to live with his grandparents at the age of three.

When we all stopped chasing highs for more suitable adult activities, Gemma and Nicky just continued doing drugs like it was normal. I had reluctantly left her behind for a life in tinsel town and I was regretting it more and more by the minute.

I stopped pacing and made my way back to the waiting area and saw a text from Jared. I had responded immediately but he hadn't responded back. I was beginning to wonder if he had changed his mind about coming. That would be okay although I really needed a good distraction.  At that moment I heard a cough or rather a clearing of the throat, I looked up to see the man I was so very much in love with.  I darted out of my seat and into his arms.

"Jared, thank God.  I need you to stop me from panicking."

"It's okay, I'm here now.  Shhh."  He said as he rubbed my hair and allowed me to nuzzle into his chest.

He suggested I get something to eat and a cup of coffee, I agreed.  We made our way downstairs to a cafe near the emergency room and he ordered our food.  To my surprise he also ordered a cup of coffee for himself.

"Rough night Jared?"

"Yeah I didn't get any sleep.  I don't imagine you did either?"

"No.  I can't sleep until I know something.  I saw Gem's mom earlier, but no news yet.  My friends Darlene and Heather are on their way.  They needed help with gas money to get here.  Silver Lake is 100 miles away.  The rest of our friends are probably coming too, but I haven't heard... sorry I'm rambling."

"It's okay.  So what exactly happened, do you know?"

I told him that they had been in a car accident but the details were unknown, except that Nicky died on impact. Then I told him about their sordid past and how drugs and alcohol probably played a part.  I weeped into my hands explaining to him how I felt like I could have prevented it if I had only stayed here and tried to convince her to get clean.

"Ali, there's no way to know that and besides, you're not they're keeper.  I had to learn that a long time ago with Shannon.  They seek help when they're ready.  Forcing them into sobriety only makes them angry and less likely to be successful."

He was right.  I had this mother hen persona and if I had inserted myself I may have pushed her away.  I finished my sandwich after he insisted I eat every bite and we started making our way back to the waiting area.  A few people stopped and stared at Jared while we waited for the elevators, but just as he was about to ask them for privacy or whatever else would be appropriate the doors opened.  Paula was inside.

"There you are dear!" Paula said as she grabbed my arm and tugged me forward.

"Is she out of surgery Mama Tate?"

"She is, the nurse came to tell me 5 minutes ago. She said the doctor would be out soon to let us know how it went.  I couldn't hear the news if it were bad, by myself."  She said as she looked Jared up and down and smiled in recognition.

"That's that actor guy... ya know the one, right. Am I right?" She said in a whisper.

"Yeah I think so Mama Tate.  You should ask for his autograph." I smirked and whispered back.

I noticed Jareds lips form a small smile, and he extended his hand to her.

"Hi, Mrs. Tate, I'm Jared Leto. Nice to meet you."

"What are you doing here at Duke Hospital?"

"Mama Tate, he's with me."

Her eyes got big as saucers and she shook her head.

"This is what you brought back from Hollywood?  I figured I'd get a snow globe or a shot glass.  But he'll do." She said jokingly.

She was in good spirits knowing her daughter made it through surgery and I was hoping that the news wouldn't be bad. If it were I know we'd both be inconsolable.

The doors to the elevator opened on the 5th floor and we stepped out into the unknown. Would Gemma be in a coma? Would she be a vegetable as they say? Would she know who we were? Or would she be bright eyed and bushy tailed awaiting us to see her?

"Oh no!"

"What is it dear?" Paula asked, as Jared became stiff next to me.

"Does... does... she..." I couldn't get the words out.

"I'm not sure, if she knows about Nicky. I'd imagine not." Paula hugged me and we both broke down in a fit of tears.

Poor Jared didn't know what to do. He just leaned against the wall while we had our moment of grieving. No matter what the drugs had turned them into, they were still two very beautiful souls just trying to find their way. They deserved a chance at happiness. Marriage, babies, growing old together. These are things Nicky will never know and it was overwhelming to acknowledge that.

I reached out for Jared's hand which he immediately responded by grabbing mine with a gentle squeeze. The electricity was still there every time I touched him and I wondered if it would ever go away. The minute he entwined our fingers together I knew it was going to be okay. As long as I had him there with me.

"Mama Tate, can I have a minute with Jared, if you don't mind?" She nodded and stepped away.

"Jared, I don't understand us. We have only..."

"Don't worry about that right now."

"No let me finish... just listen, please. I know how I feel about you. I expressed it back at Camp a couple of weeks ago. I've had years of admiration for you. Years of watching your movies, years of being a devoted Echelon. As time went on I actually fell in love with you. I knew you would be exactly who I thought you were when I would fantasize about you, but what I can't wrap my brain around is how you came into my life and so quickly every dream I had ever had would start to be realized. It's beyond too good to be true. It's almost as if this is just a dream, albeit one ripe with its share of nightmare. Anyway, the point is... you don't have to be here. I can't be the only girl you've had a connection with in the last 17 years, but I can't imagine you would have dropped everything to be with them during a time like this. As much as I do need you, I wonder if I won't end up hurt here. Your life is so full and when exactly will the ball drop and you realize this isn't the life you desire?”

Jared listened as I had asked and then carefully and calculatingly he responded, "Ali, I told you how I'm drawn to you. I don't understand it myself, but what I do know is that we are like magnets. I'm drawn to you just as you are to me. When I saw you in June, then again in August, I watched you. The way you would run your fingers through your hair, or smile at something someone was saying. I saw you that night you took a walk with one of your friends all by yourselves on the trail. It was funny watching the two of you get spooked at the deer running in the woods. I wanted to make my presence known but you weren't alone and it wasn't the right time. At first I thought it was because you were strikingly beautiful and we all know I'm a horny son of a bitch, but I couldn't stop looking for you in the crowds. I knew I needed to know why. The reason Ali, I truly think is that we are meant to be exactly here in this moment together. So what if it's happening fast? So what if people don't understand? Hell, so what if we don't understand? Let's just see how this plays out? Because I may not have dropped my life for others, but Ali, you're not other girls. Okay?"

I closed my eyes and listened to his every word. When he was done, I felt his lips on mine. My eyes opened wide as I looked around to see if there was anyone there watching us.

"Jared, what if people see you here? I mean they already have. Don't lie and say you don't care."

"Ali, I really really don't care. I have nothing to hide. Do you? Are you ashamed of me Alice LeFaye Foster?" He laughed.

"HOW do you know my middle name, Jared?"

"I saw it on the hospital papers."

"This is so embarrassing!"

"Not really, I think it's beautiful. What you should be embarrassed of is that your initials spell Alf. Maybe you're an alien?"

We both were laughing hard and forgot for a moment where we were. It was blissful to have this time with him. Reality came back when we noticed the doctor come out into the hall.

We walked a little closer to Paula but stayed back a few feet.  The doctor began explaining the severity of Gemma's wounds and I knew Paula wanted me closer.  She wrapped her arms around mine tightly and we listened.

"Gemma suffered a head wound and has a concussion.  When she was brought in our main concern was internal bleeding and the head wound.  We opened her up and it was clear that her spleen would need to be removed.  We scanned her brain and noticed nothing of concern.  Her head was sutured.  She has a broken arm, a shattered pelvis, and a broken ankle.  We had to continue surgically to set her bones and are hoping they will heal without the need for additional surgeries.  Unfortunately we can't tell how long it will be before she is able to walk again.  We are again hopeful she will recover and be on her feet very soon.  I have to tell you Mrs. Tate, an accident as badly as the one she was in, well she's very very lucky.  You should be proud of how strong she is.  She's a fighter."

All three of us blew out the air we were holding.  This was good news.  The doctor told Paula she would be able to see her in a few hours, but only family at this time.  He also told us that she wasn't aware of Nicky's death and that none of us should tell her until she was released which could be weeks.  We all agreed.

Darlene and Heather showed up about ten minutes later and texted to find out where I was.  Jared wanted to meet them, but I wasn't ready to share him with anyone else.  He stepped away to book us a hotel room for the night.  In sweet Jared fashion he booked them a room too.  I explained Gemma's situation and we all agreed to leave the hospital for the night.  Heather and Darlene insisted I ride with them to the Hilton Garden Inn.  I felt bad for Jared because he was left to take a cab, but if he only knew the kind of hell these two would give me if they saw him.  It was better he be kept a secret a little while longer.

As soon as we checked in, I made my escape with the excuse of being extremely tired, which I was.  I entered the room and was immediately attacked by Jared.

Authors Note- sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. It’s most likely not that great either, but I’m writing and I’m happy about that. If you want to be tagged let me know, thanks!

Staying at Jared's house isn't that bad. Everyday he wakes me up with breakfast in bed, every night he kisses my forehead before closing his eyes. He thinks I'm asleep when he crawls into bed usually sometime after midnight, but I am not. I don't let him think otherwise because I like this nightly routine. It shows me his respect for me. He hasn't pressured me once for sex in the two weeks I have been here.

Jared had hired a home nurse to come in and basically keep me company. I could do everything on my own. It only took three or so days to gain enough strength to start walking around. Once I did I really didn't need anyone to help me. I was fine to go home the other day, but Jared hadn't really been around for me to explain to him my intentions. After everything he has done, I didn't want to just disappear on him.

He has been so busy with the album and then he had some engagements come up that he had agreed to prior to meeting me, that he couldn't get out of. Not to mention they released the dates for a European tour in the spring to coincide with the album release. It was no doubt a very busy time for him and the band. He didn't bring up his work with me and I didn't ask questions. We hardly ever saw each other so there really hadn't been any conversations.

~~~~~~~

It is day 16 at Jared's house. I am feeling way too cooped up. I want to get out of this house, I want to take a drive.  As luck would have it, and I mean bad luck... the excuse to get up and go comes in the form of a phone call.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Yes I am sitting." The person on the other end is my old friend Darlene.

"Yes, Dar, I swear I am sitting. What is going on?" I ask thinking this is a joke.

"You have got to be kidding me?"

"No, no, you're lying. Shut the fuck up. You're fucking lying." I scream at the top of my lungs.

Jared runs in and finds me doubled over the bed half screaming and half crying. 

"Ali, what's wrong? What hurts?"

"He's... uhh... gone. He... is... dead." I say through sobs.

"Who Alice? Who is dead?"

"Nicky"

"I don't understand. Who is Nicky?"

"Nicky, my best friend's boyfriend. My friend. He is gone. I've got to go. I need to go home. They airlifted Gemma to Duke, she may not make it."

"I'm coming with you!" Jared says without hesitation.

"No, you have too much going on.  I can do this alone.  I appreciate all you've done."

"Ali, I want to be with you. Just let me clear my schedule and we will fly out first thing tomorrow morning."

"No, Jared. I have got to go now.  If Gemma doesn't make it, I'd never forgive myself for not being there."

Jared left the room without saying anything and I can't tell if it is because I refuse to let him rearrange his life for me.  I start grabbing the few odds and ends I have lying around his room so I can leave LA as soon as humanly possible.

Jared walks back in quietly and comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.  This startles me.

"Shhh shhh, it's just me. Everything is going to be okay.  I've went ahead and booked a flight for you.  It leaves in 3 hours.  It was the only one available this short notice."

"Jared, you didn't have..."

"I wanted to.  I'm gonna fly out tomorrow, I promise.  I'm gonna be with you every step of the way, and that's final."

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure.  Ali, you've wormed your way in to this ice cold heart of mine.  Don't you know you have me wrapped around your finger?"

"Yeah whatever Leto."  I roll my eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"Maybe."  I say coyly.

Jared pulls me backwards and we both tumble onto the bed.  He rolls over facing me, leaning in so that his lips find mine.  This kiss was sweet and gentle, yet had anger and desperation in it.  I got lost in it.  My hands fisting his hair.  His beard scratching my face.  I needed air.  He tends to take my breath away even in the small glances he occasionally gives me.  He thinks he is wrapped around my finger but it really is the other way around. 

As soon as I break the kiss, reality sets in.  For one small iota of a moment I had forgotten what was going on.  He is a distraction and I wouldn't normally mind, but I have a flight to catch.

"Jared, I gotta get to the airport."

"We have time."

"No, I can't get sidetracked right now.  Please don't be mad.  I'll make it up to you."

I stand up, walk to the door, turn around and blow him a kiss.  He smiles as I leave him for the first time in what feels like a long time.  I tell myself that this is actually a good thing.  The heart grows fonder when you're apart.

The drive to the airport from Jared's seems longer than it should and I am sure it is because I don't know what kind of hell awaits me in North Carolina.  I cringe at the thought just as I am pulling into the long term parking at LAX.  I don't know how long I will be gone but the shorter the stay the better.  I'll be there as long as Gemma needs me.  She'd do the same for me, if ever I was in her shoes.

I am grateful that the doctor had prescribed pain medication when I left the hospital.  Up until now I hadn't used any, but the only way I am getting any sleep on this plane tonight is if I am medicated.

                         ———————————

It feels odd that Ali isn't in my bed tonight. I am already packed and I was able to get any meetings or engagements put on the back burner with the help of Emma and Shayla. Everything is working out in one way or another, but I can't seem to fall asleep.

Every part of me says I should be here working and not getting too involved with a woman right now. I have so much going on and this has really complicated things. I don't have many people I can count as friends in my life, but I know I can always call on Shannon. There isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other. I call his number and he answers within two rings.

"... Shan, I just don't know what to do here. I was thinking about how crazy I'd be if anything ever happened to you. So I get it, this is her best friend. If she loves Gemma as much as I love you, then I would need someone good and pure to help me through the tough shit."

"Yeah but Jay, you aren't good and pure."

"You know what I mean. I know I shouldn't get too attached, but..."

"Okay, so my advice to you is to consider all angles here. So far, you've managed to keep working even while she was getting better at the house. As much of a distraction that she is, she really hasn't been that disruptive."

"True."

"But, Jay, we all function on our drugs of choice. Me, it's always been alcohol and drugs. You on the other hand, it's been work and chicks. Can you sacrifice either of those things?"

"You quit using."

"Yeah, but you saw how hard that fight was..."

Shannon was right. I was managing fine with work, and I hadn't had any of my previous temptations show up unannounced. But what if work suffered because of Ali? What if I keep falling for her and I can't be faithful? I don't want to hurt her.

Ali and I haven't made any agreements about being exclusive, but I respect her and she deserves someone who can only be with her. I know I want to give her that but I am not sure I can be trusted. I need to put myself in the line of fire, I need to be tested.

As soon as I think about that, I remember how reluctant Alice was to be with me after my little white lie.  She had made reference to being hurt before.  If you think about it, we all have, but something tells me her hurt is more than just the run of the mill break up.  There was a pain in her eyes when she opened up and told me she couldn't trust me. I'd have to find out sooner or later what exactly had happened.

"Okay Shannon, I'll weigh the pros and cons, but if I'm being honest here, I at least want to try. You said mom wants us to be better men. I do want to be a better man. I've been thinking a lot about settling down. Maybe Ali came right at the perfect time... anyway I'm gonna try to get some sleep." We say our goodbyes and disconnect the call.

I lay in bed tossing and turning, wondering how I could prove to myself that I could be faithful. How I could put myself in the line of fire being around hundreds of girls all throwing themselves at me and turning each and every one of them down. This would be hard for me as it's been over fifteen years since I was in a committed relationship and that relationship ended because of infidelity.

I believe in the idea of soulmates. I like the sound of it. And it's true Ali is me in female form. We laugh at the same things, we do the same silly things when we think no one is looking. We both like attention, me more than her. We both are creative. There's so many similarities and very few things that make us different. She probably is my soulmate. I smile at the thought of that.

~~~~~~

I wake up and blink my eyes a few times.  Sometime in the night I must have fallen asleep.  I'm grateful because I have a long flight ahead of me and I won't be able to sleep on the plane.  I take a quick shower and eat a banana for breakfast.  The lab became alive sometime around my last gulp of juice.  I wash my glass and step into the office to bid everyone a farewell.

Everyone looks at me incredulously as I've got very neutral clothing on topped off with a black hoodie and sunglasses.  It's imperative that I am as incognito as possible.  I am in no mood to deal with any paparazzi today. 

I make it to the airport with minutes to spare and board the flight.  As soon as I can, I take my laptop out and work on more lyrics.

"Started a stranger, a love endangered

The edge of a night

The face of an angel, the heart of a ghost

Was it a dream?"

I had started the song as a love letter to America, but I can't help but feel it's also a love letter to Alice too.  The lyrics I just wrote are definitely to her.  I can't wait to sing it to her the first chance I get.  I write as much down as I can and close the computer when the flight crew tells us we are approaching our descent.

Before I know it the plane has landed and I'm headed to the hospital in a hired car.  Once there I send a text to Ali asking if she's at the hospital.  She confirms that she is in the operating room waiting area and that she hasn't been able to see Gemma yet.

I walk in to the waiting room where there are a few people sitting around talking.  I take notice of Ali looking at her phone, no doubt waiting for my reply.  I clear my throat and all eyes are on me.  The only ones that matter are her bright blue ones.  She stands up and runs into my waiting arms.

'What the hell just happened?' I wonder to myself. I know he didn't have my apartment number but I also know he is Jared Leto, he is very resourceful. I was certain that writing that note would be an indication to him that I was not willing to pursue a... a what? A relationship, a friends with benefits, a friendship... I wasn't sure what this was, but I didn't want it to be anything. And here he was breaking all the rules of a one time fantasy being lived. I stare at him incredulously.

"You lived your fantasy, now I want to live mine." He says with a smug grin.

"Jared, you shouldn't be here.  What just happened can't happen again."

I grab my shirt and pull it back on. I can't bring myself to look at him, so I hang my head down and wait for him to leave. Except he doesn't make any move to do so. He stands there and huffs loudly instead.

"And why exactly is that Ali?"

"Because I am in my thirties and I don't want to play games anymore.  We are much too old to do that.  I'm at a point where my next relationship is going to be my last relationship.  You're a perpetual bachelor.  You can't offer what I need."

"You're putting words in my mouth here.  Did I ever say I don't want those things?"

"Not exactly, Jared.  But actions speak louder than words.  What you and Jamie did the other day was something I'd expect from college frat boys.  And even still your lack of relationships and even being seen with the same girls more than once in the media speaks volumes."

"Ali, I am a private person.  I have dated.  If you're not seeing these people in the press it is because I don't want anyone to see it.  Besides, I haven't dated much recently because no one has excited me.  You, Ali, excite me.  For four months I've thought about you.  I'm not even sure why, but I know there is a reason for it."

"How could I ever trust you?  Jared, you go out on the road and women throw themselves at you.  I couldn't live with the idea that someone I'm seeing is tempted like that.  I know men can only handle so much temptation before they give in.  I like you.  Hell I love the idea of you.  You're absolutely right that I've fantasized about you.  You've been the object of my daydreams for a long time, but I can't handle a broken heart. Not again."

"What happened to you Ali?  Whoever hurt you is not me.  I'm not that guy."

I laugh a little louder than I should have when he says that.  He is exactly like every man.  The fact that he doesn't realize that is comical.  Am I to believe that Jared Leto is the one man out there that is completely honest, never cheats, doesn't emotionally abuse, etc?  I don't buy it.

"You should go." I tell him.

Instead of leaving he walks over and plants himself onto my couch and continues to stare at me. After a few minutes I can't take it anymore and I start fidgeting with my hands. I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. I make sure I grab one bottle of water and crack the seal. I am not offering him one because to do so would say he is welcome here and he is not. I walk back into the living room and take a sip of water.

"All I am asking is for a chance here. Open up to me and we can see if this is something that can work for us." He finally says.

I'm not one to shy away from communication so I decide he is right. He's also not giving me any reason to not at least hear him out. I should feel lucky as hell that I have him in my apartment, that he is adamant about being with me. I'm still not sure in what capacity, but I'm curious enough to find out. If I don't like what he says I can still kick him out.

"Alright, I'll listen to what you have to say."

"Thanks. First I want you to know that you're right to be concerned about my intentions. What Jamie and I did, didn't seem all that bad at the time, but to lead you into thinking there was another guy wanting to meet you was a lie. I'm not sure what has happened to you, but I do understand honesty is a must in any relationship."

"So then what do you want from me? What kind of relationship?"

"I want to get to know you, I want to take you out to dinner, to have low key nights watching movies and eating popcorn, to go hiking, maybe even climbing." She tenses. "If those are things you'd like to do or try."

"What about the Echelon?"

"What about them? Look Ali, you know as well as I do that majority of them will be supportive. Yeah sure there will be a few that will be upset or jealous. That's only if you wanted them to know about you. If we decide to let them know about us."

"Ok so if we decide to see where this goes, what about the paparazzi? You said yourself that you're a private person.  What if I don't want to be tucked away and hidden?"

"You'd have to be comfortable going out with me if that were to be a part of our relationship. The paps will always be around, it's a fact of my life that I cannot change. I chose this life. People who are my friends or family did not. I mostly let them dictate how and when they're seen, if ever. The important thing is to not care about what is said."

"Speaking of... I saw a video online from last night. People have been really cruel."

"I figured something would pop up. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I only read three comments and then closed my computer. I've avoided social media all day."

"That's understandable, but you gotta understand that the negative comments are just words on a screen and have no bearing on us and how we feel about each other."

"What did you mean by you living your fantasy now?"

"Ali my fantasy is having you be mine."

I smile at those words. I'm still unsure of what to do with his self proclaimed need to have me in his life. He saw me from the stage at a show, he saw me around camp, he's had one night with me, and he is so sure I am the one for him?  It all seems so odd.

"Why me?"

"I don't know.  I feel connected to you."

"Can you actually promise to be honest with me? Do you honestly think you're capable of that?"

                               ——————

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I'll prove it to you now.  I'm not even sure I'd have ever admitted what I'm about to tell you to anyone before.  I was really hurt when I woke up to a note this morning.  I couldn't get a song to go the way I wanted, so I took it out on my friends this morning."

I search her face to make sure she's still following what I'm telling her.

"Ali, this isn't my finer moment here, but I wanted to call you, I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I was going to text.  Then when I clicked on your number, your picture from last night was there."  She gasps.

"I hadn't realized it was still on my phone.  You saw me delete it."  She nods.

"Well here's the really disgusting and private thing I am going to tell you.  Full disclosure and all."

"Oh... my... God, Jared!  You didn't?"

I can still turn this in my favor.  I am really good at talking about sex and desire.  If I'm playful, maybe my charm will reward me.

"I couldn't help it, Ali.  You're so fucking sexy.  I want you even now."

I wink and run my hands to my crotch.  Her eyes light up as they follow my hands.  I grab my dick through my pants and squeeze.  Her body reacts in awe striking ways. 

"Okay, Okay. Stop!  You've made your point, pervert!"

She playfully swats me and I grab her arm and tug her closer.  I can feel the heat of her breath on my lips.  I kiss her softly and then let her go.

"Alright, get up and go get dressed.  We are going to go somewhere."

She doesn't ask questions or make it seem like she's confused or upset.  She takes the order and leaves the room.  I wait a few minutes and then follow her.  When I enter the room I see chaos.

"Ali, what's going on in here? Did your closet explode?"

"Yes, no. Ugh. I don't know what I'm changing into because I don't know where we are going!"

I walk over and grab a pink tank top laying on the floor.  I see a pair of white shorts on the bed and point to them.  She takes the cue and picks them up.  She looks at me and twirls her fingers showing me I need to turn around.

"I think we are past the point of modesty, babe.  I'll play along, but I may take a peek."

I turn around and after 5 Seconds I can't take it anymore.  I spin back to face her and proudly gawk at her petite figure.  She grumbles but isn't really mad.  She dresses quickly and puts on a pair of flip flops.

I take her hand and guide her out of the apartment.  Once we are outside I let her know that I didn't drive.  She guides us to her car.  It's nothing special, but it's nice never the less.

"Sorry, my Ferrari is being serviced at the moment." She guffaws loudly, which is really adorable.

"Okay well I guess I can be seen in this.  Hand me the keys."

"Oh no no Leto, this is my baby.  She doesn't let just anyone drive her."

I wonder for a minute if there's gonna be a back and forth or tug of war for the keys, but she relents quickly and gets in on the passenger side.

"I have one of them new fangled cars you see.  Don't need to stick a key into an ignition.  It's real smart." She says with a thick southern accent.

"Oh one of them there fancy smancy cars, eh?" I return with my own southern twang.

It takes me a minute to adjust since this is a manual transmission and I haven't driven one in a long time.  I put the car into reverse and back out of the lot.  Within seconds I am speeding down Cahuenga towards the 101.

After 25 minutes has passed Ali realizes where we are and lights up.  She even perks up in the seat beside me.  Her eyes glisten with tears.  I reach for her hand but come up short when I have to downshift to make the turn onto Dorothy Drive.

"Jared, you brought me back to camp!"

"It's where our story should have began."  I say with a hint of sadness.

"Doesn't matter, the past is just that. We are here now making new memories. AND, we are here alone!” The excitement is evident on her face.

"Probably not alone, I'm sure there are staff members floating around here and there."

"That's okay." She says defeatedly.

I come to a stop and park the car.  I'm overjoyed to be back here with her, and I can also scope out the possibility of having Camp next year even though I had said we wouldn't.  I sometimes do that.  I recently said this next album would be our last, but it probably won't be.  I love making music too much and we have hundreds of songs that could still make it onto a sixth album.

We get out and walk to the entrance.  There's a lightness to our steps.  I can tell Alice is giddy.  It's the reason I started the Camp in the first place.  Adults want to be kids again and this gives us that chance.

"Well let's go have some fun, shall we?" I ask rhetorically.

Before she steps too far away, I spin her around and plant my lips upon hers.  And because I can't help myself, I give her a smack on her ass.  And because she can't help herself, she moans softly.