i saw you struggling with it. i didn't want to say anything. audrey
" then why are you saying something now? "   your tone quickly becomes so pointed,   you hardly recognize it.   it's difficult out here not to play the what if game   &   your line of questioning goes so far back to the day you were born   /   what if one single change would've kept you out of this hell,   what if things were different   &   you were still captain?   would you still be looking up at @warpainte with the frustration that you're offering her?
you let the question linger before a newfound guilt sets in.   it has began eating at you slowly,   in varying intensities,   in varying moments.   out of that shame,   you drag your eyes away to the wall beside you   (   sitting in the corner,   you feel small,   as if you'd hope no one would notice you there   &   would let you just be   ).   " i'm fucking useless out here. "   no one knows why,   the secret still hung on your tongue looking for the right ear to latch itself onto.   " i wanted to help so fucking bad,   but i literally couldn't get a jar open. "   the weather has started to dwindle,   &   with it comes a stiffening in your joints,   to which there is no release...   you sigh   &   lie your head against the wood,   just waiting for exhaustion to take over.   " i feel like shit. "
