#jankles

I tried

Original pic

my daddy wisely imparted upon me the reality of drinking out of straws being gay girly not for real men. I’m juice-fasting and getting jared in on it bc that’s what you have to do as a bitch ass hollywood actor but god forbid I admit it to my adoring fans. we wear makeup on camera As Men isn’t that so funny. jared constantly frets about gaining weight because he is such a girl, dude (yeah I’m profoundly anxious about it too but that doesn’t count because I keep it to myself!) god bless our troops everyone if I were a better man I’d have served my country long ago. gotta keep The Wife happy or she’ll bite my dick off, am I right boys? this character I’m playing lightly scoffs at the existence of hashtag toxic masculinity in america, unlike this other character I played whom I’m passionately in love with who is an all-american hero, just a littol bit rough, but in definitely a good way, because… because kripke said so. I don’t cry, ever, unless it’s for the camera. oh god jared don’t use sappy words like “love” while you’re talking about us the fangirls are picturing us sucking and fucking as we speak.