#jamiekim

What immediately struck me is how Espada spaces and breaks in between his lines. For the majority they’re abrupt and give the illusion of a rough texture; making it extremely uncomfortable to read and difficult to achieve a natural reader's flow. Although reading this poem was a slight struggle, I thoroughly enjoyed this conscious decision. The intentional breaks juxtapose and emphasize the story Espada is telling. His printing plant job was harsh, tough, and unforgiving. This can be seen in the lines, “then the glue would string / hands oozing / tile both palms burned / at the punclock.” The characteristics I mentioned are beautifully apparent in the aesthetic of the poem. The breaks accompanied with the brutal vocabulary, such as “oozing” and “burned,” give the poem a heavy weight and intensity that truly encompasses Espada’s experience.

The last stanza is the most comfortable to read, another conscious decision that reveals Espada’s point of view towards upward mobility. He’s commenting that the higher the social ladder we climb, the more luxuries we are given. He avoids including details that gives the reader the assumption that these luxuries are ‘earned.’ Instead, he implies that they are naturally a part of the upper class environment and that being a part of such class does not automatically suggest that the people have ‘earned’ or ‘achieved’ such gratification. Espada also argues that the higher class also has the leisure of looking at hardships through a one-way mirror. The struggles of the lower class can be acknowledged, but their labor pain does not affect classes above them.

Part 2:

Young 13 year old Jamie wanted to bleach her hair and dye random chunks with colors that were similar to highlighters: neon green, bright red, and electric blue. I couldn’t achieve this look because I couldn’t afford the products needed to make this transformation happen. I needed bleach, a lot of bleach, and even more bleach to lift my black virgin hair to a shade that would resemble blonde.  I also couldn’t afford my parents approval of conducting such treatment to my appearance. Every time I confronted them about this desire they’d frown, shake their heads, and sigh out loud a rejection. Regardless, I could afford to imagine and dream about the transformation.

I constantly yearned for this look for years. Looking back, I think it’s because I wanted the world to recognize me for being different. Or cool. Or something. A lot of the kids who had dyed wild, vibrant hair tended to be the ones that also were the more rebellious. I remember there was a group of these students and they all prided themselves on having poor relationship with their families, but coped with this by attending raves and consuming hallucinogens. Weirdly, I thought this was cool. Maybe I hoped that if I dyed my hair I could join their clan. Be a part of their comradely. Instead of joining in a “hoo ha” we’d always go, “fuck yeah!”

“Looking at them, they are all pining at the delayed progress.”

This line made a strong impact on me because of the powerful contrast of vocabulary use. There’s a mix of both apathetic and powerful word choice. For example, the word ‘looking’ is a weak verb to be paired with the word ‘pining.’ I questioned why the author chose to commit to the word ‘looking,’ instead of using a more dynamic synonym. Xu could have used words such as: studying, inspecting, or surveying. Is Xu making a point that to view ‘them’ is an apathetic act-- that this doesn’t require much effort or commitment? Regardless of Xu’s reason to avoid using a stronger verb, this decision brings stronger attention to the the word ‘pining.’ A unique choice of vocabulary, almost mysterious, to emphasize that ‘they,’ the poems, are all longing. The poems are faced with a ‘delayed progress,’ they want to move forward. Yet something is holding them back. Xu’s word play of personifying these poems lure out empathy from the reader, which is why I find this line so gripping.

“Gain or lose, how is one to know what is predestined?”

I found this other line to move me because of Xu’s unique use of word play. As I mentioned before, Xu continues to use a mix of vocabulary that contrast against one another. Xu begins the line by selecting words that are a weak. ‘Gain’ and ‘lose’ are relatable concepts, but lack power. But, compared to the previous line I analyzed, I am not disappointed with the selection of these words. ‘Gain’ and ‘lose’ allow a broad demographic, if not all, to relate, understand, and build a relationship with this concept to to truly understand Xu’s point in the later half of the sentence. Xu ends the line with a stimulating rhetorical question. Ending the line with a rhetorical emphasizes Xu’s argument that any life experience, whether large or small, can not foreshadow the future. The future is a mysterious realm that no one can pride themselves in knowing.