#jamginsoo

she does this. she does this a lot. it’s one of the reasons his parents asked him to watch her during her studies. the boy, minsoo, well hyungwon knows he does his best when it comes to delivering reports on her progress but hyungwon knows his sister has her habits. one of thme being she likes to stall, she likes to deflect and she likes to distract. she’s very good at it, half of it she took from him, half she used on him. when it came to familial duties and the daily classes and check-ups she always had him at her disposal. being so close in age and in birthdays they learned to gravitate towards each other and she learned to use her brother as a scapegoat. it’d be cute if she wasn’t so good at it.

when he’s asked to attend a session he thinks nothing of it. he’s been curious he’ll admit, to see the boy his sister is practically always with. why not suggest a tutor from school? simply put he’d prefer this guy to the jarheads prancing about the campus looking to fill their pockets or their pants. 

the only problem is, just as his sister deflects hyungwon distracts. he goes off on tangents and she knows what she’s doing she baits him well because the answer catches his attention, moving it from the words on his phone screen to the male. “that’s wrong.” he doesn’t mean for it to come out so, condescending. so he clears his throat and adjusts his position in the chair.

he's going in and out. In and out and in and out and he's going to swallow this flame whole. He will. By god he will. He doesn't see minsoo, doesn't need to. Heat surrounds him. Body heat. Heat from the flame. Heat from his heart spiking through his lungs. Heat heat and more heat. He hears a shutter and closes his eyes.

One. Two. Three. Four.

The flame should disappear. It's the mantra. It's the trick. Pull his finger off and it's gone with a switch. It's gone and he blinks and he'll shove the lighter in his pocket and be about his day. But it doesn't. He doesn't. Four blinks and it's still in his hand. Four more blinks and this is getting out of hand. He doesn't her the shutters he doesn't hear the words? Was minsoo even speaking? Was kihyun speaking? Was he counting his own blinks? Was he counting down his relapse? Counting up his goal?

Snap out of it?

It's covered. Suddenly. It cuts into a count, cuts into fifteen and cuts into his brain. A blink. Sixteen? A frown? Minsoo?