James: The night has always been a mystery to me
Lukas: Because you go to bed at seven-thirty
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James: The night has always been a mystery to me
Lukas: Because you go to bed at seven-thirty

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James: You might as well go ahead and pronounce the L in salmon
James: Since nothing matters and we're all gonna die anyway.
James: Kicked out of another chess club for repeatedly sneaking my new piece 'the warlock' onto the board
James: I've been drinking more water.
Lukas: Cool
James: This is going to fix all my problems.
Lukas: Let's temper our expectations.
James: This is going to fix most of my problems.
Lukas, about James: YES he's a MASSIVE BITCH but he's also BISEXUAL and ASMATHATIC and HE ALMOST DIES AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK AND he's my little meow meow

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James, drunk: I hate horses
Lukas, also drunk: What??
James: They’re too tall and they pretend to care about the feelings of others
Lukas: They do care
James: THEY DON'T
Lukas: They want to help you
Ted: THEY *DON’T!!!!* They want to ruin me
Lukas: Listen,
James : My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.
Lukas: How do you like your coffee 😉
James: As dark and as bitter as my soul
Lukas, now with a shiteating grin: One vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar coming right up!